clear your heart
and follow your mind
turn impossibilities
into things you can feel inside
clear your heart
and meet my eyes
even when your wings get heavy
you will find a way to fly

When the floating moment passes
Everything crashes down.
A second, a millisecond, a microsecond
It’s short and long and short once more.

Nobody expects the end.
But we know it is coming
Because it always does.

The wind whispers to me:

𝑔𝑜𝑜𝒹𝒷𝓎𝑒

i’m not a daughter
i’m a trigger
i’m not person
i’m a gun
every problem
i make bigger
reminds me i 𝘢𝘮 one

i’m not a daughter
i’m a trigger
i’m the stain on your white blouse
and everybody, everybody knows
i am the darkness in this house.

I don’t hate you.

I’m just reticent.

Reluctant to share where
This hesitation came from
But I swear I care,
I swear I care.

It doesn’t make sense,
This reticence is like barbed wire fence
Around my heart so when
You try to touch it h u r t s.

𝘐 𝘴𝘸𝘦𝘢𝘳 𝘪𝘵’𝘴 𝘯𝘰𝘵 𝘮𝘺 𝘧𝘢𝘶𝘭𝘵 𝘐 𝘴𝘸𝘦𝘢𝘳 𝘪𝘵’𝘴 𝘯𝘰𝘵 𝘮𝘺 𝘧𝘢𝘶𝘭𝘵 𝘐 𝘴𝘸𝘦𝘢𝘳 𝘪𝘵’𝘴 𝘯𝘰𝘵 𝘮𝘺 𝘧𝘢𝘶𝘭𝘵 𝘐 𝘴𝘸𝘦𝘢𝘳-

If I dare
To let go
I release
My control
And I can’t
Be here alone
With volatile
Sticks and stones.

If I dare
To be free
Then I’ll have
No more of me
Because shackles cold
And leashes gold
Are better than
The days of old.

Stay caught up till June
I’ve made up my mind now it’s doom
Feeling scared and lost
Is it my life or my soul that it’ll cost
To be untangled
But I can’t let it stay mangled
I want to leave it now
Come back morrow noon
When it will be the first of the full moon
Of august the first
But by then the deal will be sealed
I will have new work and old pieces to sew
I will have fresh scars to heal
I’m not ready, I’m not confident it seems
This light in my eyes is dull it never beams
Lost to the tribe, lost to the ethics and conspiracies
Can’t find my way out even with different loopholes and currencies
Leaving away is not the same as being free
When I’m tethered  to this city
It’s by lanes and pity
Of what people will say
Will they watch me when I flay
Their concerns are disconcerting
They don’t have the right pieces of my heart
They are just pulling strings from my art.
Stuck in a loop again here we go
Another year of breakdowns and broken bones
Is there a way out my head is spinning
I want to get down of this merry go round
I want to move straight and not be caught up in life’s down turning.

Sweetest fog consume my light
curl with me through the coming night
lay with me, stay with me, stroke my hair
sing ye of calm, a peaceful air
land on me, descend oh sleep
in smoky promise of dreams to keep

A The evil little voice still speaks… 8
B Says I can do it all alone         8
C Says I don’t need to call on God, 8
b That I can manage on my own. 8

A A twin to Job, I stumble on. 8
a The mental tools I need are gone. 8
B I cannot seem to find my way 8
b Or summon up the will to pray. 8

A I’ve lost myself along the way. 8
B I somehow didn’t read the sign. 8
a I cannot face another day 8
b With all these shackles on my mind.         8

A I need to fall on bended knee 8
a And ask the Lord to set me free - 8
B To give me back my confidence 8
b And help me climb down off this fence           8

A To help me overcome this angst 8
B And pity for the mess I’ve made. 8
C To help  me get back on my feet 8
b And get a new foundation laid. 8
                  ljm

I was standing in the valley
By a mountain
The grass was so green
Like emeralds
The air was clean and fresh
Wildflowers were everywhere
All colors and sizes
Like a Monet painting
I had been waiting
For a long time
It seemed like forever
Then I looked up
And I saw
Slowly walking
A man
It was you
My heart jumped
I started trembling
I couldn’t believe it
After so long
After so many prayers
You were here
Standing in front of me
I reached out my hand
You smiled and took it
We started walking
Disappearing
Into the green valley