left out in the world everyone fears
darkness creeping over the years
but breaking through her lips
a hallelujah
for no one can take away from her
the praise she fought her whole life for
she screams
and cries
for nothing but hallelujah

hell bound baby
far from loved
family chains
family blood
silent prayers
she seeks a star
atop her lungs she says "no more
hallelujah isn't what i'm looking for"
she stopped for a moment
and stopped looking for stars
for she thought they were to far
but her hallelujah lies in the moon
she never thought would be covered by clouds
but it's not gone now
for there's an ounce of light
for her to seek
til the end of the night
and to this girl i say
hallelujah

broken
hallelujah
stolen
hallelujah
hopeless
hallelujah
breathless
he still hears you
hallelujah

what i say

i mean with the kindest of hearts

my love

is often mistaken for hate

because sometimes my visions spill out of my mouth when i see the life you’re trying to create

just take 

a look

but don’t look with your eyes

your eyes can’t see when your mind starts to fly

what i say

i say with an authority i shouldn’t have 

inhibition delivering me to my very well deserved state

teenage dream

but the dreams i have are controlled chaos 

nightmares that twist my rib cage towards the so desired truth

what i say

is the result of you trying to bleach me

teach me the truth that was passed down to greet me

wash me of my secret maturity

because its rude to stand up for what i believe in 
if what i believe in

is on the opposite end of a person over five years older than me

what i say 

is more than an everyday opinion 

i have washed that word from my vocabulary 

and protested it to no end
what i say

is not the result of the lack of thinking

it’s the result of admitting that the lack of thinking created this mess that we call

freedom of speech

and i know a little more of what it’s like

to become an object of a proven point

when your point has been proven by others

and you have to sharpen the edges for it to be seen as the same words

and i don’t know every scripture 
but i know that God is love

so why are those three words seen differently on Sunday morning out of a preachers mouth?

and i’m no republican (sorry daddy) but i know my God given rights
my country given rights
and my self given rights

but i no longer see that integrity in the cops we throw outside

and i dare say 
i am afraid of the american flag

because the fabric is being held against our mouths 
silencing us by giving us freedom

but if i brought these things up to you 

you wouldn’t understand

because you take part in the war

and don’t feel the land and it’s plans

70% of the people i know could tell me i’m wise

but when the time comes to talk i gotta sit on the sidelines
and watch people potentially ruin their lives 

because i’m 13

all i have to worry about are friendships 

and lies

and homework 

and guys

and i’m not downplaying these things

i’m just saying

a lot of adults have signed me up for wars

and told me i’m not ready for the training

but hey

what do i know

i’m only 13

but just because a cut is small

doesn’t mean it won’t bleed

and experience means nothing without integrity 

which is better than anything you could ever teach

so when i speak

someone is bound to listen to me

and to that one random person 

who i’ll probably never meet

thank you
for being a part of the solution

despite the fact 
that we’re only 13

and in case you were wondering about the other 30

in the percentage above
**
it’s my family

Chosen
Helper
Loved
Over
Everything

another sunset is upon us
it's the end of another day
you got through it everybody
so sweet dreams
as some would say

there she is
in the back of class
waiting for the sun to shine
writing in her little book
the faces she got this time

the teacher left the room for a minute
as it seemed
and he got up
and wrote on the bored
"cry if your a freak"
knowing he meant me
i did

they laughed
he erased it
and the teacher came back
and didn't even notice
"why didn't he notice?"

so she went home that day
believing the lie
because she can't control
the sounds that come out of her mind
who knows where she got the gun

but the real question is
why didn't they notice?

he missed one football practice
so that he could dance
he football friends would tease
and finally
they assumed there was a romance
he said his talented was true
but football family rules
they have to beat it out of you
because there worried about you

that day he went home
believeing the lies
trying to
cut out
the dance inside
and when i didn't work
he cut a little more
and it took 24 hours
for his father to walk through the door

every second
of everyday
people commit suicide
because
they all went home
bilieveing the lies

that just because they are different
because they are set aside
they need to be forgotten
**they need to die

catch me before i retrace my steps
start reading between the lines
hold me before i realize your arms
are not safe and warm like i thought
tell me you love me
like you love me
before i realize those words mean nothing to you but
nevertheless
nevertheless...

we still call it love
though you never made me feel like enough
and the truth is i'm over it
lying my way through this
she still calls it love
though pain is more welcome than us
and she never got over it
because that's just the way it is.

but i can't call it love
because i need to feel like enough
and i'm done
i'm over it
lying my way through this
and i finally see
that pain is more welcome than me
and i can't control any of it
and thats just the way i live
*and i'm done... i'm over it.

evil
Is the absence of God
death*
is the absence of life
Lies
Are the absence of truth
you
Are the absence of trust in what I can do
you
Don't believe though I've proven it true
that I
Do what only God gives me strength to do
Even though in your eyes
That is an excuse
so no
It's not hurting me to be there for you
Because in my mind that's what friends do
and yes
Darkness is the absence of light
*but sometimes light is hidden in plain sight

This is for the birds who take their time leaving cages
Who use all the strength in their brains to take them places
Who use all the strength in their beaks to cry out on their stages
And declare peace on the birds on the rescue mission to save them

This is for the birds who work alone
Who type alone on their computers
Give their life to social media users
But are still strangers to the ones who live at home

This is for the birds who shed a tear
When that anniversary comes around each year
Whether it be the last bottle you downed or the last blood stained floor you cleared
The last blood stained soul, in the mirror you feared
Even when all the birds around you ceased to cheer

This is for the birds whose nest was burned down to the ground
By the father who let a political party take him down
But still sits and waits quietly til the coast is clear
But still sits and waits in the fire while the rescue birds are here

And maybe does it burn
But maybe that’s how birds learn
By waiting for the coast to be clear
By being taught when to burn
And it pains me to say but
It’s pain that saves us when the soft and cushy world fails to give us what we’ve earned
The exposition of the truth
The key to the freedom birds so often chase after

But this is for the birds who take their time leaving cages
Who use all the weakness in their hearts to imagine places
Who would rather stay in than be alive on a stage
It’s really clear

That maybe what you wanted was a little bit of control
Because the nest burned down and you thought
“What would happen if I go?”
But the time to find out is right now
Right here

hey everybody on hello poetry
i thought i would freestyle again
this time choosing a topic
that might end up better

the topic of the day is debates
one of my favorite things to do
but a religious one could turn into
not a debate but a fight

i hate when people do that
it's a debate
prove your point and move on
none of us need to know how strong you are

whoever comes out on top is the star
but most don't usually get vary far
because of the fighting

the wrong Christians are representing
the wrong atheists are being represented

i debate with atheists
and think they are all annoying
but then i look at debates online
and see the Christians are the same
the wrong people are fighting

they try to tap in
but then you see they're tapped out
some people think they are perfect
but that's not what Christianity is about

some of my points might be a little shaky
but it's freestyle
give me a brake

i made love to the idea of leaving my footprint on the world
without looking into the idea of my foot getting caught in quick sand
getting lost in dance for a while
but i could never dance the urges off of me
unsee the things i had to see
the insecurities spewed out into my toilet
it took me a while to realize bulimia is almost always metaphorical
and for a while it became a necessity

i forgot how to fix these things inside of me
my rather apathetic way of getting threw things
and after a while
my father's anger
got the best of me
there's this numbness in my chest
i can no longer think
i can't think knowing the secrets of my family
i can't think putting all their mistakes on me
i can't think knowing my parents rejected my hurting
and i can't eat
i can't eat with all these pains building up
inside me

i made love to the idea of leaving my footprint on the world
but i left a footprint on my soul instead
right now i'm barely beautiful
my urges leave me dead

what's so wrong with me
that i can't hold on
that i'm just to fragile
that i can't be strong

why do i feel this
teary eyed feeling
like i'm about to cry
but my tears don't matter

like i need to get even
but with whom will i do that?
like i need to change something
but what do i change?

this feeling is so deep
i don't know what it means
do i need to cry
or do i need to say something?

you think she deserved to be hurt
because she was out with her friends wearing a mini skirt
i guessed when the lines are blurred
you can't really tell whose right
your mom or your dad
your mom saying "get her with respect"
your dad saying "get on top"
her saying "stop... stop... stop"

broken and bruised
her body has been used as a play thing
up on the stand he asks "what were you wearing?"
instead of crying she says
"i'm flattered but my outfit wasn't that mesmerizing
would you ask a mugging victim why he had is wallet on him that night?
so why would you ask a girl if her jeans were skin tight?
why don't you ask the parents why their sons head wasn't on right?
or why at the store the tag on my skirt didn't say
"get ready to fight for your life?"
and hey your suit looks nice attorney
maybe i should stab you for it
would i go to jail
or get away with **"he wanted it?"

no matter what they say
safe is a dangerous place
it holds your heart
it locks you away
when you run home crying
safe will comfort you
but safe is not God
it can't do what God can do
so step outside the cage
don't let safe lock you away

i can't describe a smile on a summery day
i guess thats why sadness is most of poetry

can you explain something?* why am i not good enough? i know i’m not perfect, but i assumed that you did to. and i know you’re meant to teach me, because thats what parents do. but am i no longer allowed to speak anymore because of my attitude?

So i guess it’s my fault, the reason you come home angry and give me that look at that drop of a pen. And oh my God, that look. If looks could ****, you would have murdered me with nightmares. But I guess i’m supposed to grow up thinking thats what daddies do. Threaten you with eyes, hurt with words,, and deny it when you bring it up, too.

But i guess it’s my fault. I’m the one who “didn’t see” my brothers brain development. Despite the constant warning of your children, your final decision was to deal with it.

But i guess it’s my fault, that when someone says *“your parents raised you well,”

now i have to lie. But i’ll be dammed if i give up and let you raise me.

So it’s my fault, because all these things are true. And the new rule, that only applies to me is “speak when spoken to.” I supposed i raised myself, because wrong and right were always in my mind. True. But mother, with all your excuses for him

**I’m a little hurt by you

smart minds don't think alike
*they think together

words are subject to the person using them
that's why friends use curse words to greet their "homies"
but parents still tell their kids to condone these
words could mean anything
depending on whose speaking
so don't tell me to apologize
because you won't like what i'm saying
words don't mean anything
sometimes words aren't enough

every day i go into my mirror, **** in my stomach and pretend i'm a professional dancer, then i realize i'm too overweight.

i care too much about everything

i wish i could commit suicide, then i get sad when i find something to live for

there's something deep behind everything i say

i can't stand complements

i don't ever say i have bulimia, because it sounds like a disease, i am bulimic i didn't catch bulimia

the reason i don't like compliments is because i don't think i deserve them

another thing is i don't see the point in praising a being on not being human (long story)

i don't trust people just because they're human
most people think there is a deep reason
i just don't

i don't like when people think there is something deep to something that is just simple

i hate when everybody believes a lie i told and thinks too much of the truth (they don't even know the lie was a lie, they just do it)

i might be the only person in the world who never has deep moments while it rains

i choreograph better than i dance

everybody loves my singing voice yet i hate it

i wish nobody existed but animals so they could live in peace

i wish i lived in an abusive home so i could stop being in between.

come back to bed it’ll be over soon
daddy will come back when he has some food
daughter said “mother were doomed”
mother said “God will be there for you”
but mother what about you

used to cry now i have no time
have to go now daughter they cut out the light
we have to wait for daddy
he’s traveling
now i know exactly what that means

honey please blow out the candle
there’s nothing i can do about the window
it’s raining its pouring and Jesus is snoring
so much for a promise
my eyes getting teary
the only thing i wish today
is for someone to make
a better way
but until that day
i guess it’s not so happy
a “happy birthday”

today a bomb went off
the only thing you can hear is a cough
in the building
i wish i could do something
but i’m just a kid the only thing i can do is dream
that there are angles in the sky
will they come down or is this goodbye
is this goodbye?

grace?
but a memory on the shadow of my face.
hate?
but an action that i would love to chase, but it’s impossible
now i have to lie at the cost of my sanity
i thought you were there for me

speechless
what do you want me to say next
i hear it
but no one seems to hear it but me
my heart is open but you don’t seem to see it beat?
is it too late to go back and change what i did
*so you can believe the words i speak?

i walk onto nothing
and make a bridge
**but it's burning behind me

how did i fall down?
why can’t i cry out?
when did my life become a cave and why can’t i get out?
there are so many things
nobody ever told me
and when i found out i was already trapped
only the truth can change that.
this is the truth that happens when we talk about it
it’s the truth that happens when we’re not afraid
it’s that truth that never ever reached the surface
but look at us now

i wish somebody told me
that life can’t be easy
and when it is
it destroys the happiness that comes freely
i wish that somebody told me
that depression is empty
because when i wasn’t sad
i thought i was crazy
because the truth isn’t common
that's why i never knew the struggles that were coming

nobody notices how dark we are
until we walk in front of a moving car

some people say
this would be the saddest day of their lives
for me
it's the best
because when i cry
it reminds me
i need to knoked down a few pegs.
but my tears don't matter
this is who i am
and if you haven't met my father
you would never understand.
i try to do the right thing with his eye
then he controls me
but if not
well
it sends me right back to hello poetry.
because telling you about my pain
is not what i'm about.
but this is a special pain
that i can't live without.
if i try to say goodbye
it will find me
take over me
control me
it takes this best of me
and turns it into the worst of me
in human eyes
because nobady really knows what goes on inside
but believe it or not
this is the best day
of my life

I met a superhero once
He was actually a dunce
He tripped over all his words
When he’d talk to me for once
He was paranoid, insecure, always looking over his shoulder
At first glance, you’d think he was agitated bolder
But even though I didn’t understand what he was going through
I stayed with him, to be a friend
What else was I going to do
And after being with him frequently I finally understand
He was distant because the entire world was in his hands
His only job is to save it twice a day
He could never take off his disguise
He’s a fragile state of mind depressed and anxious, with a side of fries
And every time he flew away It’d make me want to cry
Because nobody knows superman without the shiny cape
And I know the person who’s just begging to escape
I know the heart of glass
Now in the ash because he dropped it in a flash
But superman's kryptonite might actually be his past
Don’t laugh
I told him there was only one thing he could do
Because I once was a superhero
And maybe you were too
The pain in his eyes was too much for him to hide
I showed him the pieces of the heart that he dropped in the sky
And surely he started to cry
A superhero is strong and mighty
Something everyone wants to be
But sometimes the strongest superheroes
Are the ones we do not see
Sometimes superheroes are depression with a cape
And to save the world we live in
Superman has to take a break

I am a mystery
A complete and udder mess that takes time away from getting "perfect"
I am pure of heart
if I can find it
I am the dead of night that makes you appreciate the daylight
I am fright
I strike fear into the people who think normal is a good thing
And if one day lighting decides to strike me
I am the art that it leaves in the grass
I am a match that will never burn out
And some may say
That I'm​ crazy

you're words are soft
but cut so deep
they drive a hole into my cheek
your tears are cold
but storms unfold
as we **** ourselves for silver and gold
money falls
burning right through our fragile walls
people on the street fighting for pennys

and we're walking on

singing all about our troubles
in our bubbles
making it rain
but i'm still from the hood in my brain
buying clothes for fun
got 99 problems but a dollar ain't one

walking down the street while angels digging through the trash
hoping for the day they're "free at last free at last"

we **** ourselves
for diamonds
hoping nobody can find them
running marathons for paper chains
drilling it into our brains we need it
the better life
while our souls burn in bank accounts and my dear wife
doesnt believe
money is the root of everything
so she left me
with my family
but i still got my maid
having money troubles
isn't "not having enough"
it's not having it to blame

how do you help someone
who doesn't know they're hurt?

Love is when I put my head on your shoulder and its as if nothing is missing in my life
Love is when I don't have to say anything before you tell me
"don't worry, we'll get through this together"
Love is when I can rest my head on your lap, close my eyes, and feel safe
Love is when every argument we have ends with "I love you"
Love is when nothing can stand against our two flames
Love is you and me against the world baby

i'm sorry for being me.
i promise it'll never happen again.
but sometimes when i'm alone
i am my only friend
i know you want me to be social
but i'll say it once again
my mirror understands me
and she'll leave if i give in.
your backing me into a corner here
can you back up a bit?
i need to breath my own air
and marijuana is not it
and if that is being normal i don't wanna fit in

Tell all
Or tell nothing
Go home
Or go back
Go back to your room

I can't be what you want
I can't cry for me
I can't be sad for nothing
And unfortunately nothing is me

Tell me one time
When I could have been perfect
I don't know what else to do
Except go back to the broken mirror
And pick up a piece or two

I love to paint
I'll paint my pain
On my arm
A picture of you
But all I can do
Is go to my room
And pick up a piece or two