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Apr 2017 · 1.0k
washed away
Riot Apr 2017
I'm being softly lifted off my feet
A spring fling beckons my gripped teeth
A lifetime seems slower during the day

But at the night I'm reminded
of the rippling waves
I've timed it
I have exactly 3 more years before I'm washed away
Feb 2017 · 564
I was hoping
Riot Feb 2017
I was hoping you would see me off
I was hoping you would say goodbye
I was hoping you would take the time
To wish me luck before I took the sky
I still have a bag that reads your name
Just in case you wanna stop on by
I was hoping you would see me off
I was hoping you would be that guy

I still write about you every time
I want to think about the past
I still see your face on the reasons and examples
Exactly why love will never last
You broke me

I still put a band-aid on the wounds
I still fear the day I tell the truth
I still think about the day I packed my bags and left
The day the sky revealed my father wasn't you
Emotionally

Though you tried with all your might
And it might not be alright to bring you down
But hold me
Accountable
I thought long and hard and now I know
Sometimes the only father you have is in the sky

But I was hoping you would see me off
I was hoping you would say goodbye
I was hoping you would say those words
*But I know you’ll never be that guy
I'm not gonna stress him anymore. He's not my father
Jan 2017 · 931
Take chances
Riot Jan 2017
TAKE CHANCES
TAKE THAT ANXIETY IN YOUR GUT AND LIGHT IT ON FIRE
AND USE THAT FIRE
USE IT TO SAY ***** YOU TO THE PEOPLE WHO DESERVE IT
AND I LOVE YOU TO THE PEOPLE THAT DESERVE IT

BE COURAGEOUS
IF YOU DON'T WANT TO JUMP OFF LEDGES AND START A REVOLUTION
START A REVOLUTION INSIDE YOURSELF THAT YOU NEED TO FIGHT FOR

WORK FOR NOBODY BUT THE PASSION THAT KEEPS YOU BREATHING
OH
AND IDENTIFY THAT PASSION THAT KEEPS YOU BREATHING
LET IT BE THE DOOR YOU BUST OPEN LIKE YOU OPEN YOUR HEART
AND FOR HEAVEN'S SAKE OPEN YOUR HEART
BECAUSE WHEN YOU REALIZE NOBODY IS ON THE OTHER SIDE OF THAT DOOR YOU'RE GOING TO NEED A KEY
THAT KEY IS YOUR HEART
THE DOOR OPENS WHEN YOU DO

YOU DO YOU
YOU BE WHOEVER YOU NEED TO BE WHENEVER YOU NEED TO BE IT
IF YOU WANT TO BE MORE HONEST
DON'T WAIT FOR THE RIGHT OPPORTUNITY TO COME CLEAN
DO IT NOW
IF YOU WANT TO SWITCH POLITICAL PARTIES
DON'T WAIT UNTIL THE RALLY IS OVER
DO IT NOW
IF YOU WANT TO PRAY TO GOD FOR THE FIRST TIME SINCE YOU WERE A CHILD
DON'T WAIT TIL SUNDAY
DO IT NOW

START OVER
OR CONTINUE
WRITE NEW SONGS
OR SING OLD ONES
TAKE CHANCES

THERE COULD BE A LIST OF A MILLION THINGS THAT WILL HOLD YOU BACK
LIFE'S TOO SHORT TO BE ON THAT LIST
TAKE CHANCES
Oct 2016 · 712
For the birds
Riot Oct 2016
This is for the birds who take their time leaving cages
Who use all the strength in their brains to take them places
Who use all the strength in their beaks to cry out on their stages
And declare peace on the birds on the rescue mission to save them

This is for the birds who work alone
Who type alone on their computers
Give their life to social media users
But are still strangers to the ones who live at home

This is for the birds who shed a tear
When that anniversary comes around each year
Whether it be the last bottle you downed or the last blood stained floor you cleared
The last blood stained soul, in the mirror you feared
Even when all the birds around you ceased to cheer

This is for the birds whose nest was burned down to the ground
By the father who let a political party take him down
But still sits and waits quietly til the coast is clear
But still sits and waits in the fire while the rescue birds are here

And maybe does it burn
But maybe that’s how birds learn
By waiting for the coast to be clear
By being taught when to burn
And it pains me to say but
It’s pain that saves us when the soft and cushy world fails to give us what we’ve earned
The exposition of the truth
The key to the freedom birds so often chase after

But this is for the birds who take their time leaving cages
Who use all the weakness in their hearts to imagine places
Who would rather stay in than be alive on a stage
It’s really clear

That maybe what you wanted was a little bit of control
Because the nest burned down and you thought
“What would happen if I go?”
But the time to find out is right now
Right here
Taken from my website http://itmightgetbetter.weebly.com/depressionanxiety/for-the-birds
Aug 2016 · 572
Superman
Riot Aug 2016
I met a superhero once
He was actually a dunce
He tripped over all his words
When he’d talk to me for once
He was paranoid, insecure, always looking over his shoulder
At first glance, you’d think he was agitated bolder
But even though I didn’t understand what he was going through
I stayed with him, to be a friend
What else was I going to do
And after being with him frequently I finally understand
He was distant because the entire world was in his hands
His only job is to save it twice a day
He could never take off his disguise
He’s a fragile state of mind depressed and anxious, with a side of fries
And every time he flew away It’d make me want to cry
Because nobody knows superman without the shiny cape
And I know the person who’s just begging to escape
I know the heart of glass
Now in the ash because he dropped it in a flash
But superman's kryptonite might actually be his past
Don’t laugh
I told him there was only one thing he could do
Because I once was a superhero
And maybe you were too
The pain in his eyes was too much for him to hide
I showed him the pieces of the heart that he dropped in the sky
And surely he started to cry
A superhero is strong and mighty
Something everyone wants to be
But sometimes the strongest superheroes
Are the ones we do not see
Sometimes superheroes are depression with a cape
And to save the world we live in
Superman has to take a break
Jul 2016 · 1.3k
Priority
Riot Jul 2016
Learning to accept myself
the way God created me
that's my mission
My priority
Jul 2016 · 272
heartbeat
Riot Jul 2016
I don't write about love as much as I want to
One thing about me
I don't sing about things that I can't do
I'm human
I know a million reasons to live under the sun
It's a heartbeat
And everybody has one
Jul 2016 · 316
He
Riot Jul 2016
He
He took me by surprise
When i looked into his eyes
I knew
He would change my life
But now he has changed it for the better
And i don't know what to ******* do

He
Is
Not
A Crush

I've never felt this way before
So free
So trapped
Because we could never be what i want us to be
but honestly
***** that
Out of all the things i feel
I feel love the most
And oh my god i just wish he would get a little too close

He
Is
Not
A
dream

But god i wish he was
because if he was
it would be easier to let go
he was a dream
until
i met him
I've never met someone
so special
so unique as him
somebody that I'd consider letting in

He
Is
Not
Unavailable

We are in the same room
In the same space
In the same time
In the same moment
And I knew
It was wrong
because nobody has ever made me want to be 40
But *******
40 looks good on you
**** I'm in love **** i'm in love **** i'm in love
Jul 2016 · 1.8k
if i bleached my skin
Riot Jul 2016
I wonder what would happen if i bleached my skin
What kind of twisted world i would live in
If one day i decided to do what the world demanded
And strip my melanin

I wonder what would happen if i burnt my hair to a crisp
If barbie doll hair was on my birthday wishlist
If one day i suddenly looked like
Taylor swift

The problem with this fowl dream
Is that it’s forgetting one thing
The thing in which i live and breath
My sanity

If one day i bleached my skin
And society decided to let me in
I would have tarnished God's creation
For equality
unnecessarily demanding humane unity
And Maybe if i bleach my skin
An officer wouldn’t shoot me
But What should be happening is me taking a stand
And saying it’s not him against me
But us against the hatred that makes individuals choose me
Single me out because of my skin
Fearing me because i’m chock full of melanin
Saying #allLivesMatter instead of #blackLivesMatter because if we let one house burn the rest of the town wins
But at the bottom of this is was and always will be hatred
And just because your side of the boat doesn’t have a hole doesn’t mean we’re not all sinking
So i suggest you do something.
Riot Jul 2016
Dilusional baracades
I've said everything I've ever needed to say
But it doesn't seem to be enough to go around

rose thornes in our poisened heads
stitched together with needle and thread
we take our brains and dip them in lead
it smells just fine to me

Dimmed dreams and shiny things
we thing about the lies we used to feed
feed ourselves and our decorated bleeds
Nothing is right
Because once we all had fleed
It was nothing but dimmed dreams
and shiny things
Jul 2016 · 330
how dare you
Riot Jul 2016
How dare you tell me that he doesn't need to change
How dare you teach your children that this is ok
How dare you bring silence into the room
And pretend you don't know exactly what to do

How dare you be surprised when we stand up for whats right
how dare you try to silence us and tell us not to fight
how dare you be just as bad as he is
how dare you
Jun 2016 · 570
I am not sane
Riot Jun 2016
I am a mystery
A complete and udder mess that takes time away from getting "perfect"
I am pure of heart
if I can find it
I am the dead of night that makes you appreciate the daylight
I am fright
I strike fear into the people who think normal is a good thing
And if one day lighting decides to strike me
I am the art that it leaves in the grass
I am a match that will never burn out
And some may say
That I'm​ crazy
taken from my website withourminds.weebly.com
May 2016 · 362
home
Riot May 2016
We spend our days searching
searching for a home
a sound
a feeling that we're not alone
we think thats we've found it
but once we settle in
it doesn't last the time it took to put our bags in
"home is where the heart is" is what we often hear
but to the heartless it most likely seems to be clear
the homeless ones are the ones who stay inside...
there's a whole world out there
why are you trying to hide?


Our home is in the movement
in running at midnight
it's the quietest sound of grass
when you walk barefoot through sunlight
it's the laughs that weren't planned
it's the putting down your phone
where you truly find home

I found home in a person who spent their energy lying to me
thought it was fun to hear the stories
see how energetic they could be
but once it was time to move
i didn't take pity
i don't regret
leaving my worst friend chloe

Now my home is in rehearsals
in the book i plan to write
in the words of those who care
and in my parents
it might be spite
but thats alright
for the time being
because i can be alone
until 2018
when i find a new home
2018 is when i plan to be emancipated. i hope all you lovely people out there find a moving home, because life is movement, don't miss it.
May 2016 · 236
leaving (10w)
Riot May 2016
i stuck around for a while
but nothing keeps me...
just counting the days til i've had enough
Apr 2016 · 417
authintic discovery
Riot Apr 2016
i am an unfinished paragraph
a song forever meant to be sung by whoever remembers me when i'm gone
beyond that
i am me
a bag of bones
a bottle of pride bred to survive on cheap ideas and butterflies
a lie
that only the fittest survive
but i'm about as unhealthy as it gets on the inside and i still have some fight left in my faded eyes
surprise
i'm not a picture frame
you can't put whatever you want inside of my and expect it to stay
i'm not a coloring book
i am not black and white so you can color me in
i'm black and white so you can learn what it means not to
you'll never see makeup on my face on an ordinary day
because i kinda like my face
it's started to grow on me this way
my *****, natural hair will never be surpressed by irons
because i've grown quite attatched to the way it grows
my body is not a trend
it can not go out of style
my mind is not a notebook
you cannot scribble to pass the time
i'm so much of a free thinker i could have been born in the ocean
because from birth to present day i don't even understand the depths of my mind
and i really want you to like me
but if you don't
do worry
i'll survive
Apr 2016 · 297
Untitled
Riot Apr 2016
words could never capture me
*i'm a ******* mystery
Apr 2016 · 1.1k
tumblr girl
Riot Apr 2016
i’m the tumblr girl who has deep conversations on any topic, but in real life, pretend i don’t understand poetry

i’m the tumblr girl who has a simicolon necklace, and pretends to have no connection to the meaning whatsoever

i’m the tumblr girl who is confident in every typed sunrise, every explained sunset, and her interpretation of the stars, but when nighttime comes i pretend to be afraid of the dark

i’m the tumblr girl who defines “emotional abuse” as “the failure to be a parent.” yet listens to the praise given to “such a strong family”

I’m the tumblr girl who will one day

just stop posting
Mar 2016 · 323
faith
Riot Mar 2016
you lose faith by having faith in something that distroys you
like a spiritual virus
and i decided to ignore you
because after all you mean nothing to me
right?
but by the looks of it
it's easier for you to hold on tight
thats fine
some people find it harder to get past things
it's the way normal people go about their normal feelings
but i can only write so many poems about something so meaningless
so don't act like i'm feeling what you feel
i stopped having faith in viruses
you should stop having faith in ideals
Mar 2016 · 325
i'm fine
Riot Mar 2016
i'm fine
my depression has stabbed my heart and wreaked havic on my spine
but surprisingly i'm the best i've ever been
i'm in the dangrous zone of
"who would want this"
and
"who would want to leave this"
and i'm fine
you can be happy and depressed
right?
you can be proud of your life and wanna die?
i've discovered the light at the end of the tunnel is a train
but believe me
i'm fine
"i'm dying and trying but believe me i'm fine" - twenty one pilots
Feb 2016 · 254
Untitled
Riot Feb 2016
i study at the university of life and major in depression and anxiety
Feb 2016 · 337
i'm done
Riot Feb 2016
i'm done with you and all your ****
most people wouldn't live through your ****
but i did
i stayed because of what you "lead" me to believe
and i left when i was done
and you knew i would leave
spread your rumours
frankly i don't ******* care
believe i'm an abusive *****
nothing you do is worth my time
whoever believes you is not worth my time
so take your selective memory and stick it up your ***
at least (in public) you're doing it with class
goodbye
forever
you don't exist in my world
you're the shadow of the person next to you
the imaginary friend that i'm forced to talk to
and as far as our never existing friendship goes
it was a lie since the first day you thought we had something in common
so finally
for the last ******* time
goodbye
sorry for all the cursing, i'm just really ******* mad
Feb 2016 · 2.8k
emotional abused
Riot Feb 2016
i don't know where to put you

your hands just under reach my skin
i'm not considered a victim
my bruises are on the inside
and the fault goes to me
i'm not abused

but yet

the thought of even adressing you makes me sad
"the dreams in which i'm dying are the best i ever had"
that line meant nothing until my sleep brought to my attention
my dad
i peel at my sanity
no more than a locked room
your words push me down the stairs
because they never speak the truth
especially when they force out the words *"i love you"


my emotions are confused
my emotions are unused
my emotions are scared to death of his
**emotional abuse
Riot Feb 2016
to the woman who saw right past my depression
thank you
you stopped me from doing something horrible to myself
to the woman who saw right past my depression
i hope you take your own advice and love yourself as much as it looks like you do
you’re the only cloud in my rainy sky who actually meant to strike thunder
your poured your heart out to me for a few minutes
and you’re probably my only meaningful memory
my life is a blur
my eyes clouded with tears
but when you said sad
you actually meant depression
and to the woman who saw right past my depression
i’m sorry
that my progress is non existent
that i was truly listening to a story i would never be in
i’m sorry that you think i’ll actually get better from this
that i didn’t express my feelings the way i was supposed to
in that moment
i swear i wish i had cried
because you’d probably say something
that would make me feel alive
instead of dead inside
because you and i both know
i was already triggered
i was swept into a ditch of lovely conversation and it reminded me how nobody listened
the only person who listen to me never heard me speak before
and that was you
you saw my eyes instead of my words
saw the plants
and not my world
so for the woman who saw right through my depression
saw the emotions i hid from the world
i hope someone does the same for you
because i know happiness can be a brick wall
Feb 2016 · 531
serial killer love story
Riot Feb 2016
i’m the kind of girl to fall in love with a serial killer

listen to his story while he eats his dinner

tell him not to hate himself for playing with his food

southe the heartache while waiting for the police to hear the news

i’d never try to escape

because that would hurt his feelings

and why would i want to leave?

i know a million people

myself included

who wear their heart on the same spot on their sleeve

he’s ****** up in the head

but thats ok

because i know i am to

so to the serial killer

if the police ever find me

don’t worry

i’ll stay with you
Jan 2016 · 351
this is kinda me
Riot Jan 2016
i’m younger than you’d ever guess
yet i feel older than time
my head is kicked around like a soccar ball
but trust me, i feel fine.
my parents used to abuse me physically but i didn’t mind
because the worst pain was emotional
ask the doctor who doesn’t know i’m dying
because depression is just a phrase people use to pass as hip
but when someone says it on a serious note you make like their hope
and dip
but me,
i’ve been seeing this since i was four years old
never could express my blessings because they were wrapped in the cold
but i’m fine
i still purge every once in a while
but i’m sharing
some thay counts for something
right?
i guess i’m growing,
i’m not a poet
but i occasionally rhyme
i’m not a sharer
but i guess this right here proves that statement to be a lie
Jan 2016 · 465
people usually
Riot Jan 2016
people usually cut to show their demons where to play
i did the same on the inside

people usually cry to tell theirselves that they're broken
i do the same on the inside

people usually bury themselves in what they love
i do the same on the inside

while everyone else is messed up
cut
bruised
torn
broken
i'm the exact same thing
*on the inside
Dec 2015 · 604
Untitled
Riot Dec 2015
I screamed but you didnt hear me because the silence was too loud

I cried but you have your own tears  now
Dec 2015 · 801
i used to (10w)
Riot Dec 2015
i used to cut myself
to heal your wounds
Dec 2015 · 265
Untitled
Riot Dec 2015
maybe i was right
maybe i was wrong
but i now have a new found passion
now that you're gone
Nov 2015 · 380
the ones who miss me
Riot Nov 2015
his voice crawled up my staircase and into my skin
“i miss you”
he said in his fatherly tone as if he had been off to war
two seconds ago he was in his room watching the news and then he decided to miss me
out of the blue
the first words that pop into my mind are
“you don’t have the right to”
but i’m not that bold
so i just respond with, “ok”
because what else was i supposed to say
we see each other everyday
he’s my father for ***** sake
he’s my father
no that doesn’t sound right
he’s the man that contributed to my birth
and if i wasn’t so **** afraid of him i’d call him that
if i talked to him at all
because being forced to call the source of my anxiety “daddy”
my sanity begins to shrink and
i feel small
because i was raised not to talk to strangers
but what about the ones that pretend to be family
the ones whose eyes hold the secrets of insanity
the ones who taught me how to hide my depression before i could color in the lines
but you think you have the right
to miss me?
after tearing my childhood apart with your bare hands
denying me the freedom to have a problem
making me a rebel for being human
setting unstable examples
letting love be redefined by how quiet we pretend to be
while our minds scream for an actual example of a family
but after throwing me in the cold
you start to miss me
when you realize i’m freezing
you blame me for being to cold
i told myself over and over
not to talk to strangers
especially the ones
who miss me
Nov 2015 · 286
like the moon
Riot Nov 2015
the stars feel as dark
as the empty space around them
because they don't light up
quite like the moon
Nov 2015 · 289
suicide
Riot Nov 2015
i'm already dead
*suicide is just a formality
Nov 2015 · 843
stars
Riot Nov 2015
you lost the stars in your eyes
so you sent your children to go find them
Nov 2015 · 2.2k
Untitled
Riot Nov 2015
somebody told me to reach for the stars
so i took them out of the sky and hid them in my broken heart
somebody told me that time heals all wounds
so all be waiting right here until i can finally be rid of these cuts and bruises
Nov 2015 · 593
the truth
Riot Nov 2015
how did i fall down?
why can’t i cry out?
when did my life become a cave and why can’t i get out?
there are so many things
nobody ever told me
and when i found out i was already trapped
only the truth can change that.
this is the truth that happens when we talk about it
it’s the truth that happens when we’re not afraid
it’s that truth that never ever reached the surface
but look at us now

i wish somebody told me
that life can’t be easy
and when it is
it destroys the happiness that comes freely
i wish that somebody told me
that depression is empty

because when i wasn’t sad
i thought i was crazy
because the truth isn’t common
that's why i never knew the struggles that were coming
Nov 2015 · 318
stay alive
Riot Nov 2015
i’m alright
everythings alright
i fooled myself into believing that lie
i have a secret
so hold it tight
save it for the next shattered heart who needs it
cuz this is all i get
for giving my soul to whoever needs a reason to hold on
but it doesn’t really matter
this is what i get

for all i’ve done
tryna be someone
chasing the moon while tryna convince you i’m the sun
smiling all day
crying all night
don’t want you to know this "happy" girl is not alright
but i want you to know just what i do to stay **alive
Riot Oct 2015
remember the laughs when life was real
we built each other up to feel
constantly free
neither do i

remember the times our friendship was strong
and nobody could tell us we were wrong
remember the pure heart?
neither do i

I guess reality can really be fake
we dragged on a beautiful mistake
and when reality came knocking we pushed it away

because we were best friends
but thats not an excuse

so when i lost you
what did i really lose?

Because i don't feel alone without you
and so
i built a home without you
and i never felt the need to cry
i found my own way without you
and i hope i don't distract you
i hope you make it really far in this life

and nothing in our friendship was really true
thats why i don't feel alone without you
goodbye
Oct 2015 · 311
Without me
Riot Oct 2015
I don't want you to miss me
I never wanted you to want me
In fact
I hope you're ten times the person you were with me

*without me
Some friendships are better as memories
Riot Oct 2015
we're the kind of stars
they wouldn't dare wish on
Oct 2015 · 488
perhaps (10w)
Riot Oct 2015
perhaps we'll meet again
when we're better for each other
i sure hope so
Oct 2015 · 347
contemplating
Riot Oct 2015
i ask myself question such as “what if we were wrong, and the earth really is a square” which you gotta admit this would explain why we try so hard to live on the edge, and some people fall off.

And when we fall, we sprout wings like the clipped angel wings that i keep at my bedside to remind me that you still exist

and then it rains, and i go into my normal life contemplation, all my “what is lifes” and my “why is lifes” and then i wonder. maybe it rains like this because the angels are just as depressed as i am.
Oct 2015 · 365
how shall i remember you?
Riot Oct 2015
i sometimes ask myself

how shall i remember you?

is there any specific way that would do justice to your

memory

the hole you left in me

the hole you took from me 
that i’m getting back ever day

or at least thats what i tell myself

but in all this chaotic

dramatic

problematic

bundle of memories

how shall i remember you?

i could remember you as my best friend in the world

because you were
but we both know 
that wasn’t the whole story

i could remember you as the person

who took the light out of their eyes 

because they thought i might be
afraid of the dark
*
because you did

i could remember you as the person who harassed me

made multiple accounts on social media to distract me

when i started to catch on

because you did

i could remember you as the person who once

offered to teach me how to cut

because you did

i could remember you as the person 
who was
always looking for a way to take the stars out of the sky

because you were

i could also remember you as the person 
who
thought you were entitled to my heart mind and soul

because you did

or i could remember you as my best friend

who shared their every thought with me

who only dreamed that i would succeed

because you did

*but thats not the full story
i can't choose
Oct 2015 · 373
i will never sing our song
Riot Oct 2015
all we had
is nothing
built apon lies
and now that i've left you think it caught me by surprise
but i knew the whole time
thought i could change the melody of our song
but all i changer were the lyrics
we still were being poisened by the piano
at war with the violin
but i'm so tired
i will never sing that song
again
Sep 2015 · 394
missing
Riot Sep 2015
i took the time to look inside myself and say
"what's missing?"
i dreaded this question for so long
only to find out it was a trick question

it wasn't what was missing
it was what was there
like placing a doll in quick sand
and watching it sink there
you sank inside my spirit
creating a hole

only without you
can i be whole
Riot Sep 2015
there are one thousand ways to say i love you
but the best
might just be
*goodbye
Sep 2015 · 388
in the end
Riot Sep 2015
in the end
we’re all just memories

drifting through the earth surface 

passing by

saying hi

staying high

telling lies

you weren’t even my favorite

yet you were the hardest to let go 

because you convinced me you were

the best of the broken

the survivor

when in all actuality 
all you meant to yourself

was a memory

and thats all you’ll mean

to me
letting go is always the hardest
Sep 2015 · 330
i wish i was sorry
Riot Sep 2015
I wish I was sorry
I wish I cared
But when you've broken somebody
Gotta leave the pieces there

Let them carry themselves back up
To mend the pieces together
Give them time and space to heal
But know they'll be wounded forever
Like me
Aug 2015 · 1.2k
I am not an open book
Riot Aug 2015
i used to be an open book. Everybody saw my horrible handwriting. My story was no secret, and it was no secret where i was going. I was an energetic kid, i told myself everyday how awesome i was, and i got happier and happier by the minute.

*It’s funny how i don’t remember these days. My childhood is a mere mystery, waiting to be solved. i don’t remember anything before i closed the book. i’m no longer open for reading…
Jul 2015 · 664
barley beautiful
Riot Jul 2015
i made love to the idea of leaving my footprint on the world
without looking into the idea of my foot getting caught in quick sand
getting lost in dance for a while
but i could never dance the urges off of me
unsee the things i had to see
the insecurities spewed out into my toilet
it took me a while to realize bulimia is almost always metaphorical
and for a while it became a necessity

i forgot how to fix these things inside of me
my rather apathetic way of getting threw things
and after a while
my father's anger
got the best of me
there's this numbness in my chest
i can no longer think
i can't think knowing the secrets of my family
i can't think putting all their mistakes on me
i can't think knowing my parents rejected my hurting
and i can't eat
i can't eat with all these pains building up
inside me

i made love to the idea of leaving my footprint on the world
but i left a footprint on my soul instead
right now i'm barely beautiful
my urges leave me dead
Jul 2015 · 356
family
Riot Jul 2015
a family is as strong as the disciplining hand of their parents. don’t coddle your children.

a family is as weak as the desciplining hand of their parents. **don’t abuse your children.
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