what would a world be
without defined beauty
as media defines it
how would that come to be?

every baby on earth
has worth
beauty
how it should be
but nobody knows
what beauty means
you don't see it in a mirror
though your mirror is you
that's beauty to
you see it in a dream

in the darkest of worlds
she stands up tall
in each and every fairy tale
she is fairest of them all

you see beauty in a pure heart
every night going to bed knowing you've play'd your part
and she has
i'm proud to be me
"i don't want you to stand up for me
i want you to stand beside me"
Lizzie Velasquez

i'm with you Lizzie

you think you know a poem or two?
you think you know the words of glue
that stick to minds like they always knew
you think you know a poem or two?

you think you know the hurt and pain
that rymed its way through fire and flames
you think you know a poem or two
that you tried to translate as "i love you"?

you think you know a poem or two
because your family won't give to you
you scribble by scribble
babble and babble about the pain that comes with scrabble

you think you know a poem or two
that talks about me not telling you
you think you know a poem or two
because you take pictures
of ****** "***** yous"

you think you know a poem or two
because you scar yourself with posters of blues

you think you know a poem or two
but i don't know me
and you don't know you

you think you know a poem or two
because you can't seem to find your bruise

i think you know a poem or two
but you don't know me
and i don't know you

i think you know a poem or two
just because you displayed that bruise

people around you don't break because of you
i've had my share of broken souls
shattered more than a few
so please end this silly convo
and let me talk to you
so i can tell you how strong i am
i know what i've been through
like when i wasn't able to help the girl
who split her life in two
to this day she's a memory
i thought i broke her too
but out of the mess i have handled
the things i have seen
the stories i held onto
the blood that i bleed
the strength you see
is not mine
it's the God that rescued me

that's what i've been trying to tell you
my tears aren't all dried up
but the God who gives me strength
makes sure i don't give up
and you could never break me
with the wings God gave me
the worst that could happen
is if you flew with me

today
he said he loved me again
my one and only friend
he said that it would never
happen again

so i cried
prayed
cut away the pain
i wasn't good enough
that's why he hurt me
right?

it's hard to figure out
why you're a punching bag
why everynight
he comes home drunk
and with your hair
he drags you
to his bedroom
the only thing you couldn't do
escape

he was too strong
you fell in love with how strong he was

so you let yourself
be his punching bag
as long as he said
i love you
nevermind the punches
and drags
because his "tough love"
was all the love you had

it was hard to figure out
why he was so mad

so they lived their lives again
sins commeted
deed done
she just tried not to let him influence
her one and only son
because it's
hard
to look at your parents
as heros
when your father is the villian
your father bonds with you the most
but you need to
stay away from him
but it's
hard

when your father controls
your every
single
move

you grow up seeing your father hit girls
it doesn't matter to you
you wanna do it to

so you get in fights at school
there's a pool
of teachers
asking you
why do you act so cool?

coming to school
with bruises
as if there's nothing else to do

the crule
punching bag rules
change
when it's not you

you see your child
bleeding
crying
you die inside

you protected him with all your heart
but you can't do anything outside
the overwhelming sadness
brings you to the ketchen

she knows she can't go back
next time she sees him
he's drunk again
it's time again

for her to remember
everything he did

remembering the ****** lyrics
to her own sad song
taking out the knife
as he stumbles along
she thrusts

as if this is the only way to breathe
her son comes home from school
right after she cleans

he asks
"where is daddy
where has he gone?"

it was hard to speak for years
but the one thing she said was
"right where he belongs"

I've been depressed for like a few weeks now
for the first time in years
i thought it was the over consumption of fears
i thought it was the secret of a friend I've known for years

but it's the sister who's too shallow to read between the lines
while i'm writing this poem
she is saying how bitter i am

it's the brother who won't listen to me
i warned him
the day he almost hit my friends foot with the car
he told me to remember my place

it's the father that always thinks he's right
he tells me all the things that would be better for me
but doesn't care about me going to the doctor
for a wound that's been hurting for years
but as long as i'm doing something for the church
because to him
i have to do more than
choir
dance
praise and worship
and it has to be in the big church

it's the mom
that didn't notice
when i became bulimic
didn't notice when my stomach was cringing with pain

but the one thing i don't know
why am i not suicidal?
i hate that i have something to live for

i hate that i want people everywhere to see
they're better than their memories
they're better than their pain
better than their misury

i hate that i have a reason to live
because that means i have to live with the following facts:
someone is sexually assaulted every 2 minutes
america feeds four countries
while they still have homeless people here
blacks are the majority of the drop out rate

and until the people like me
who remember these things
decide to fight there
i have to live with depression
*to show them i care

mother are you there?
i don't want to be alone
mother can you make it
all the way back home?

what happened on that day
the day you went away
the day you looked into my eyes
and said "i won't be back today"

what did daddy say
to make you say that to me?
what did daddy do
to make you do that to me?

i heard you fighting
again
like i never heard you before
it sounded like a bat
and then daddy slam'd the door

"what happened to your shirt"
i said though i already knew
the look in his eye
was deadly
so i went up to my room

crying in my pillow
i didn't want him to know
i felt your hand on my shoulder
it felt like i was home

mother are you with me?
mother are you there?
daddy's really angry
i'm starting to get scared

mother can you hear me
all the way up there?
in the heaven that you talked about
are you happy up there?

she was a gift to the world
but words silenced her
the only escape she had
was a gun

to the person who made her feel that way
you've just killed an angel

he walked in confidence
he was on the right track
nothing could stop him
except the fact
that he was christian
and gay

do the church that made him bleed
to bleed out the different in him
you've just killed an angel

she had the voice of an angel
she didn't let anything hold her down
her spirit filled the room with happiness
but the only thing they cared about
was the size of her body
bringing down the size of her love
until she couldn't even love herself

to whoever told her she wasn't skinny enough
you pulled the trigger on an angel

she was only in 7th grade
when her life was taken away
but she tried to hold on longer
an angel
who did nothing but make a mistake
when she turned 15
she decided she couldn't hold on any longer

her name was Amanda
and she was only a girl
but her story lives on
because she's still in the world

suicide is still yet to be stopped
and though we cannot
turn back the clock
for Amanda
we can save those who live like her

and to the man who blackmailed her with her own picture
to the girls who beat her up over a guy
to the parents who didn't see
to all the different schools that didn't do anything
to the friends who freezed her out

**to the people who harassed her on Facebook after she tried to commit suicide the first time
to the people who commented on her story video telling her she
"deserved it"
to the ones who never cared enough to ask if she was ok

you tortured
beat
and slowly killed
an angel

this old man
he played one
he  played nick knack with a gun
with a nick knack patty whack
give a dog a bone
this old man has no more hope

this old man
he played two
he played nick knack oh so blue
with a nick knack patty whack
give a dog a bone
this old man has no more hope

this old man
he played *three
he has no more family
with a nick knack patty whack
give a dog a bone
this old man has no more hope

this old man
he had four
parents kicked him out the door
with a nick knack patty whach
give a dog a bone
this old man has no more hope

this old man
he played five
he hangs with this ol' bee hive
with a nick knack patty whack
give a dog a bone
this old man has no more hope

this old man
he played six
he killed all his friends with bricks
with a nick knack patty whack
give a dog a bone
this old man has no more hope

this old man
he played seven
he forced himself into heaven
with a nick knack patty whack
give a dog a bone
this old man has no more hope

this old man
he played eight
just found out his girlfriend's late
with a nick knack patty whack
give a dog a bone
this old man has no more hope

this old man
he played nine
let's just say he learned to fly
with a nick knack patty whack
give a dog a bone
this old man has no more hope

this old man
he played ten
never played nick knack again
with a nick knack
patty whack
give
a
dog
a
bone

**this old man has cut his throat

we walk through the forest
we take a step in the light
we never wanna stop
but we have to rest sometimes

i try to stop to tell you
we're almost there
hold on
but in the darkest meadow
no words can be drawn
so we walk
and walk
and walk
until we're tired of the dark
and it's then that i realize
i was walking by a spark

i try to tell you
" it speaks! i speaks!"
but you stare at me and i see you think
nothing speaks in the meadow
only silence guides the weak

but what if weakness
is in the mind?

so i try to bring you to the other side of me
to see the lightning spark
but all you say to me is:
*"it's beautiful in the dark"

lifting up
breaking down
crying world
i am your clown
making up who i am now
trusting no one
screaming loud
hurting others
by not hurting self
heart on sleeve
memories on shelf
lifting up
breaking down
look out world i'm on my way to town

i love how americas problems would be solved if kids took over

i love how nobody admires the clouds til daytime and nobody admires the stars til night
as if silently telling the world "if you don't see it, it's ok to forget it until you see it again"

i love how everyone still calls america land of the free
while we have more kinds of slavery now
than in 1770

i love how people ask people crying
"are you alright?"
because humans don't acknowlage when the answer is right in front of them

i love how i started a war that nobody will ever know about

**i don't think these things will ever change

his voice crawled up my staircase and into my skin
“i miss you”
he said in his fatherly tone as if he had been off to war
two seconds ago he was in his room watching the news and then he decided to miss me
out of the blue
the first words that pop into my mind are
“you don’t have the right to”
but i’m not that bold
so i just respond with, “ok”
because what else was i supposed to say
we see each other everyday
he’s my father for ***** sake
he’s my father
no that doesn’t sound right
he’s the man that contributed to my birth
and if i wasn’t so **** afraid of him i’d call him that
if i talked to him at all
because being forced to call the source of my anxiety “daddy”
my sanity begins to shrink and
i feel small
because i was raised not to talk to strangers
but what about the ones that pretend to be family
the ones whose eyes hold the secrets of insanity
the ones who taught me how to hide my depression before i could color in the lines
but you think you have the right
to miss me?
after tearing my childhood apart with your bare hands
denying me the freedom to have a problem
making me a rebel for being human
setting unstable examples
letting love be redefined by how quiet we pretend to be
while our minds scream for an actual example of a family
but after throwing me in the cold
you start to miss me
when you realize i’m freezing
you blame me for being to cold
i told myself over and over
not to talk to strangers
especially the ones
who miss me

maybe it's so hard to breathe
because life is such a beautiful thing
and beautiful things are meant to be fought for...

all we had
is nothing
built apon lies
and now that i've left you think it caught me by surprise
but i knew the whole time
thought i could change the melody of our song
but all i changer were the lyrics
we still were being poisened by the piano
at war with the violin
but i'm so tired
i will never sing that song
again

broken
your worth is in pieces
doesn't mean you can't be healed
this
world we live in isn't worth it
i can breathe it
i can see it
i can see you really mean it
i'm not the angel
i'll act like it
you don't know enough of me to get behind this
lie
it's all so wrong
we're both so strong
you're not holding me back
i gave you a lifeline and i'm holding on
and you're right
you are nothing

nothing more that:
strong
wonderful
powerful
hurt

the good don't shield the bad
but they get you through the night
your worth is in pieces
and as long as i'm alive
i'll help you find it
did you really think you would get rid of me that easily?

the judge of fair
is the God of mercy
the God that stands with you and me
don't make excuses on why you can't be with me
because the only thing between us
is a computer screen

I've got a bad case of mistreated
i don’t know what they need me to say
i won’t stop bleeding till this war has gone away
this is my cause
this is your loss
i’m wounded
in every palace i pay for with favors
i’m rich
i’m listed as a talent
but is it only me that dies for wounds
that define sanity?
tell me a story
that doesn't start
and end
with a beating