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Keyan R Mar 2019
I am too nice,
My strongest point makes me the weakest,
Regardless of my height, being too kind is where the peak ends
I don't mean by being respectful is where I've lost the fight
The scraps and bruises come from those beneath my mighty branches, those who keep taking chances
The one I constantly provide for, the one that see my bark as supplies, my shade as protection, my time as what I only provide

And I'm way too nice,
She knows all my secrets, how to pick at my wounds
How to get me to leak information, how to deepen past feuds
With more ammunition that I never planed for because I am not the type to protrude and push someone down when their lost or confused
See there's a big difference between helping someone who actually needs it,
And someone taking advantage of the help you give

It's hard to see the difference,
Like a misspelled word in the dictionary
Is that truth or fiction?
Is is reality or a depiction of what is being preconceived..
Those are thoughts I now think about as the text is being received
Her words and phone calls I can't tell why I feel so relieved
When I speak to her, even if I am being deceived.
Everyone I've talked to has told me to block her number, and it's so hard..They even offer to take my phone and do it themselves...and I claim I'd do it myself. I still haven't and still like an idiot answer her call or her text. I know it's obvious, but it's hard letting go. Even if I feel detached, her web still hushes my lips and I am bitten by a venomous kiss. It's toxic isn't this? To give and never receive...that's how our relationship always is.
Keyan R Jan 2019
Black dirt lays on my hands
The soil that lays there is where I advance
It smells, its manure
I’m the farmer, the one, the grower
I pick a plot
Think of thoughts
Things go by in and out of my mind
I’m stuck to choose where to plant the roots of time
My time cannot be wasted
Like the soil, the dirt, I taste it
I can taste it in my feet
The ground I stand on
Perhaps I’m the plant that my life has cared for
To water, to bring sunlight, that constant care
To talk, to be there, my life to cheer on

I’m but one farmer in this world of carefree
To be or not to be, I cannot please all, so do I become the enemy?
The land of the free, from which I stand all
Planted my roots, and that I’ve prayed on
I was born here, a seed like others that were planted
I grow out of the help of others, I shouldn’t take the help for granted
Though like others I may fall on the granite…pavement, blacktop, and sidewalk
I make my own way;
Things I may say,
The things I may do

I’m not a bad person
You can tell by the view
Well maybe if you trust me
I’m no stranger than you
Overall no matter by my color
A flower is a flower
At least smell it first
Judge after…
No, why judge at all
Get to know instead of pushing away
That’s really all I’ve got to say
Being a minority in America ***** even if you were born in the States. Completion of the face doesn't always have to match the personality. Customs of that p[rejudice society needs to open their eyes to the truth and acknowledge the change in inequality. But alas that only goes so far, when others who have that strong influence must make the first step in reaching out their own hand. hmm
Keyan R Dec 2018
Butterflies

This is something I'm going to have to get use to
Our memories fill up the shot glass so fast
I have to take two hits to clear the zone
Just to feel normal like I use to be
I don't want the taste to make a fool of me
But I'll still swallow the pain fluently
the bartender blended the drink "This is life when you're alone"

What's left to give when I gave you my all?
Why did I feel the need to crawl? To get on my hands and knees
When my best friend is the wall. I beg and plead
Cradling me from behind. As I reassure myself from the inside
I want to wander off to sea and drown in my sorrow. I want to die
Mix emotions come to me and collide on the side of
Why did I choose to hide...

Always running away from my problems is this the same guilt
I'm swinging carelessly in the ring, can't even strike or hold the hilt
I'm the pinball machine, motioning the tilt
Can I get an edge around this anxiety
Is there no other variety
I'm just sitting there silently sorting out my sanity
What even is reality?
Keyan R Dec 2018
Working diligently, bidding against the patience
my eternal consciousness: screaming, fearing, the beginning?
I am worried more so I am frightened
no, I am terrified and my sensory is being heightened
Why, why am I so tense
Keyan R Dec 2018
Awaiting in the dark
So dark I cannot see
I am stuck trying to find
My own destiny,
Apparently

They see me from within
My family or friends
Someone who had passed away
Is who have come to see me today
It’s really truly odd

The task is written that’s ahead
I want to see the future but
I should just use my head
I feel the dread,
It’s just beneath my feet

This change is just an opportunity
This chance to seek amends
That shot is full of lead
My kin that had passed away
I know that they are dead

They are gone and yet I’m strung
I’m struggling and it’s immense
The pressure feels intense
I asked to meet up sooner
I wanted to cancel before

I am told by others as they consumer
They take the information it’s highlighted in red
The information is read
The facts that are of feeling
Is a path to route instead

I said I wouldn’t chance it
I’d rather let it pass and
I didn’t want to be like a water faucet
The water is always,
running
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