The winter feels so cold
Doesn't it?
Ice, cold barren ground
That even you can't walk through

The summer feels so hot
Doesn't it?
Hot, Suffocating air
That even you can't breathe through

The spring feels so nice
Doesn't it?
Is that when you'll disappear
Maybe you'll find something prettier
In the flowers

The Autumn feels so quiet,
Doesn't it?
Wet, drowning everything with storms
That even you can't sit through the rain

It’s not fear I smell, it’s future
Because even from then, I never imagined continuing on since I’ve lost her
Thinking over the moments where laughter coated our eyes
And life was a game, no mask, no fear of smile lines
It’s not fear I smell, it’s hope
There to hold you when time runs out, that’s the only way to cope
Imagining a world where fire doesn’t devour the hands of a hero
And ice taking the heart starting from point zero
A world where ties do not become knotted and tangled to let just one free
Where we hold hands with pain, interlocking with needs
A world where I never lost you
The story just keeps going and I don’t know how to stop the pages from turning
To bring you back to the place, but I know you’d be hurting
My own desires to be silenced shall keep you safe in a place where
I'm not there
Debating on the choice whether to stay or leave here
What would you want if you saw my face in your reflection
What if you saw the world fall before you even when you know there is no commotion
In the water below you, it’s brimming with shadows
That you think are monsters but it’s just an overdose
It’s not fear I smell, it’s the future
But that is the space where I am scared
A world where I could heal and a world where I could nurture
My love is a universe I cannot imagine
It’s not fear I smell, it’s you
Up above where I could hold you once again in my arms
Where I hope it is safe, but I know that my hands are only capable of harm
But still I reach for you

Each time I share my words with you, chains tethered onto every sentence unleashed
Held in silence, I can't help but love anything and everything
Life: So precious and beautiful
Like glittering glass on a night of shimmering velvet
Is this unfamiliar thing such a fragile treasure,
so tainted by my hands?

Tick
   Tick
           Tick
                      Tick
Does it count my heart beats
    Or the time I have left
I pray
For it to tick a little faster
Tick
        Tick
           Tick
                   Tick
The sun sets slowly
Does it too wish to go back to when it first rose?
      But also wish
To be at the end already?
Tick
   Tick
           Tick
                   Tick
It follows me everywhere
Could it let me be for a second?
Let me breathe
In silence

I want to go home, but I'm not sure where that belongs
In my heart, in their eyes, or perhaps no where at all
If only could I lay among the soft fabric of silence
Numbed by any sense of static, some sense of peace
If only could I find that small trace of sanity left inside these walls
But it's time to go "home."

If only
I could grasp the darkness behind their eyes
And thread them in between the stars
Of the newborn sky

Silent blankets covering your eyes, but yet you walk forward
Is there something that your flailing arms search for?
Blind, and deaf--- I know you can't hear me call your name
Or perhaps you can hear: maybe in my mind, those words remain