You wanted to hold me
but you can’t.

You’re like my version of Edward Scissorhands.

Everytime you try to hold me,
your blades get in the way.

I bled.

My hands were wounded deep.
That’s what I got
for trying to cling onto you.

I didn't mind the damage.
I thought I was numb enough
to hold on to you
but I was just hurting myself.

You’re scared.

Not because you inflict pain to others.
You’re afraid to see
how people bled for you


and that’s what hurts you too.

Breathe,

I have so many reasons to be alive.

Breathe,

But I get tired.

Breathe,

I don't think I scare myself anymore.

Breathe,
Just,
Breathe


quiet car rides,
On starry nights.
Warm seats,
Cool air,
Mildly,
Unwashed
Hair.

It's late,
And,
I'm tired.

But.
Im.
Still.
Alive.
And.
In.
My.
Own.
Time.
I,
Might even learn,
To enjoy it.

The storm rages about

I throw my arms wide
The rain hits my widely grinning face
I breath in that wild scent
The wind strives to shove me into Space
Others flee for shelter while
I laugh at the world trying to put me in place

I am completely alive

Forget the past
To find the present..

Neglect the present
Lose the future

Mistakes in past
Regret in present

And only misery
Is in your future.

I wanted to die in his car
As he drove in the highway
To the unknown
The night dark as coal

He said he would give me the night
But I only wanted his heart
I closed my eyes
As he sped along
My heartbeat loud in my ears

Place me in your heart
I’ll show you where my sadness hides
Love, it doesn’t always have to feel
This way
But I can no longer bear the hollow of
Tomorrow

I turn to face him,
Eyes fixated on the endless road
If he wanted he would have chose me
I will never be in love
I will never feel it all.

Other people are getting love letters
Through my mailbox,
But I'm writing in cursive on ruled notebook paper
In a language of one.
Can this week's new health crisis
Please identify yourself?
Will you frame everything in illness
Until your life is only messy buns,
Cardigans, slippers, and frozen pizzas?
Where are my shoes and earrings,
My mauve lipstick, and milk complexion?
Where is the baby powder I used to use
To reduce the chafing of my thighs?
People in hell want ice water and
I think I get it, *******.

Goodbye.
I've always heard it
But this time I'm
Saying it.

Am I really leaving?

I don't know
anyone over there. I'll
be all alone. For the
first time.

What's it going to be like?

I don't know.
But I will find out
Soon. It's my turn to say
Goodbye.

The dusk is my maker
  My cradle, my keeper  
The dawn, my destroyer
  My coffin, my reaper
The night is my maiden
  My goddess, my muse
The day is my widow
  My black and my blues
The dark is my armor
  My sword and my shield
The light, my crusade
  My faith battlefield
The moon is my wolf
  My loner, my guide
The sun is my lion
  My tyrant, my pride
Casting these shadows
  In which I will hide
From the blinding egos
  That I'm still trapped inside