I don’t think of you that often
The eyes and faces all turned themselves towards me
Love no one
However, we may suffer
It’s funny, if you do, you start missing everybody
And I’m afraid
My failures: I had not forgotten them
To have survived so long
It happened, I stopped loving him.

All these vast hallucinations,
Stirring nonsense into every word,
Until it all becomes Alien.

Driving me to the point of breaking,
All this in a single fluster,
Drawing me down into the spiraling depth.

Where laughter is only that of the devils,
Even a swift parade of his sinister grin,
Turning even the pink-tinged angel his way.

Taking even the slightest hint of uncertainty,
Twisting every burnt edge until it snaps,
Until there is no confidence left.

Wishing to find myself,
In the tipsy lands of he,
Craving to grasp the meaning of it all.

Giving in to the struggle,
I lay my down my arms,
Accepting the ever constant rip.

You’re not the only one,
A broken record playing those few words,
My thoughts dragging in circles, overrun.

All the late nights,
Watching all the flashing lights,
Nights filled with lust turned to rage.

Thinking of you,
Back when we felt the same,
Before you started disappearing.

Guess what, she rang today,
Boasting about your new family,
You don’t even know about the one you left behind.

A brand new life,
Torn to pieces by your inability to sit still,
You cut yourself out like a serrated knife.

My little sunflower,
With all the faith of Peter Pan,
Your absence won’t ever drown her.

Pushing me closer to the edge,
For far too long, wrapped around your finger,
Stayed through the rogued fields.

Dreaming of letting you go,
My loneliness is killing me,
Right beside but where are you?

Change is wrapped around you and others,
Their words twisting your every thought,
Twirling and twirling, drawing you nearer.

Like a rock thrown from a hand,
Descending to the jagged knives,
Their eyes wide with shock peering from above.

When all of these peaceful dreams,
Turning into the nightmare they once were,
Failing to shield her eyes from you.

When all falls apart and like many times,
Your former patience snaps slowly and then all at once,
She hides between her jumpers with a trembling lip.

When the sun glistens through the curtains,
And last night is only a haze and a numbing throb,
You wonder why she flinches as you call her.

You reach out for her touch,
She can’t help but fall into your embrace,
Powder blue discoloring shining through her personal shield.

You clear her face of all facades,
You demand to know how this happened,
But deep beneath you know what happened to the pink-tinged angel.

Your shadows of what you once had been,
Slips away as the sun light vanishes fast,
Immersing into the same nightmare.