how can a month paint my eyes
and turn my tears into a fountain of numb feeling?
yet i can still see this world
through the
layers
you spread with your fingers.
i can't find myself
in these april
showers.
it shows, oh it shows

Am I the only one who feels like a hermit in a shell,
Keeping to myself and escaping from hell,
Wanting to stay in all I can,
I don't even want to go out if they gave me a hand.
It's easy to misinterpret, I know it's hard to understand.
I feel like I don't belong on this land.
This earth, this here, this atmosphere, this fire, this air, this waters not fair.
How could I trust, the humans here,
scary and cause so much fear, like the devils inside them and bringing him near,
So I stay to myself, like a hermit in its shell, am I the only one who feels this way, I will never tell.
I don't want to leave, I just want to stay, inside my thoughts, every day, I'm safe here, can't run away,
My own lifeguard, here to save the day.
It's easy to misinterpret, it's hard to understand, I kick myself when I fall down then I  give myself a hand.
I need to let down some barriers and knock down some walls,
Energy needs released, can you feel it at all?

We wallowed in the valleys of the opal flowers, they danced until they showered into a storm, unlike the norm of others, they stood real still, then twisted until, their roots were in one another's. they grew real high into the sky, the clouds blew by, we couldn't believe what we were seeing, the opal flowers powerfully beaming, but then again they got real still, and the air got chill, was I going insane? The flowers turned into a hurricane! But they didn't move, they did this for a moment then it went askew, right in front of my eyes, i watched the opal flowers own demise. They twisted too much they turned to dust, but it fell gold and blue, with hints of purple too, and we tried to take some but the dust can't be moved, well life's a mystery, who's to say what is fair, no one can pick the opal flowers but they are still right there

My life is a series of "do this" and "do that",
Not actually doing what I really want to.
They say it's for me, it's for the best and whatnots,
Everything's more of what I'm expected to do.

Then came a reckless boy who called my life boring,
That was something I wasn't really expecting.
The first experience he gave me was a piercing,
He changed the way I see life, not even knowing.

04-19-17 // 12:46 PM

there are poets that sing you to sleep and there are poets who ready you for war and i want to be both.

Feeling somewhat lost,
Understanding myself,
Control is necessary,
Kindling my desire.

Make art with me,
Everything must go.

Heart in your hand,
Aching for the squeeze,
Reaching for the kiss,
Deprived and prepared.

I'm falling from the heavens
I fell and am half way to hell
The fall is scary
I'm seeing so many monsters
I can even see one in myself

The Angels fly by
But they don't see me
They can only see the
Monster I'm fated to be

But I'm still falling and you can still save me so why,
Why, why, why
Why won't they catch me?

In front of the mirror doing my hair,
It’s all in the prep work, don’t despair,
Soon be time for the big event,
all this grooming is time well spent,

walk like a robot, keep a straight face,
don’t want a single hair out of place,
grab the phone, yes this is the spot,
set it all up for the perfect shot,

try to look natural, find the right pose,
hide the blemish that’s on my nose,
impossible angles, arm muscles ache,
the phone in my hand is starting to shake,

follow the light, keep stumbling back,
I think I’m having a panic attack,
all this stress is really no fun,
but a click of the button and the deed is done !