I climbed an old oak
I fell, and
Bones broke and I croaked

The start (of) /
a braid or a rope /
is nothing (at the beginning of this) /
it is only the idea stemming /
from a sapling or a seed to become /
a tree /
reality /
what we touch, see, and wish to be /
Ancient beings can feel how they are not free /
I notice this is my mother’s face /
as I lead her to the restroom /
so near, too far for her /
the years count with her /
the (counted) years count the steps to the toilet /
and consider just holding it /
because the pain of walking so clearly outweighs /
the pain of holding your *** after birthing 3 children /
one of them dead /
okay, birthing two children /
I was cut from my mother /
Regardless, /
maybe if you cut out the lungs /
things would cease to be /
chaotic like the outreach /
reaching out a hand /
praying she’ll find me /
because I’ve gone too far and can’t rewind //////

maybe if you remove my lungs…. /
I could stop focusing on my breathing /
give you all of my love /
show you I am not worthy /
of that admiration leaking from your ears //////

don’t be jealous of me

I thank God
For the toilet paper in public restrooms
For when there is
Toilet paper in a public restroom

Thank God for that toilet paper
Seriously

i'm not god but I aim to make some choices
affect your life pull your shoe laces
teach you to handle things in phases
take it slow and embrace it
I'm not god but I've got power
I can say any word and make the crowd bow
I can show my body and share my spirit through my skin
we'll begin with *******
then comes the lesson and jaw-dropping stretching
I am a woman and I can make life like God
I can raise a plant like god
although what I create has strings
the puppeteer faults god in my skin

Blood soared from the sacrifice
When I took the plunge
I follow through and remove
A ****** heart from the flesh
God loves me for this,
God loves me for this,
God loves me for this.
I earn a place in heaven
When I steal the organs
Of a woman who should know
Not to walk home alone

I realize things aren't getting better
We aren't getting better and freeze
Glaciers wrestling the rocks
Believing that somehow we can make this work
Even when you don't even want to
Even when you want to die
Even though we all want to give up all the luggage we carry
And give our tight shoulders a rest
And give in to the feelings of insecurities in our chest
We want to rot
But the truth is
Every day on the calendar isn't a number, it's your name
And I'm living for you

I'm sweating bullets at the sound of your gun
Maybe this wasn't love maybe it was all fun
But it's not funny anymore looking down your Barrel
Wondering if I'll ever know how to feel
And if my feelings were real
And if you'll be missing me while you hide my corpse

I'm happy with what you have to give me
Except on these days where the hormones in my head
Riot like they forgot about tomorrow
Then my organs sink
And not only my brain can think of you
My skin spells your name in goosebumps
And the curls in my head signify the S that starts your name
The word that's always on my tongue
That made up word
That made up name
That belongs to you and will always mean
This love that devastates me always
This fever that makes me sweat out all the questions
When my immune system can't [/catch up and make up/]give the answers
as fast as it all unravels and so a lie for comfort may slip out
From between my lips
from my wallowing throat
from my nauseous stomach
where the Crohn's says I have cancer



When the dehydration strangles me,
I will be less human than you ever were
Each grain, a connection, the sand leaves me an emptier sandbag
Just one in the wall of flood prevention
Protecting a city of quivering seamonkeys