I saw you today for the first time since we ended things. A million thoughts swam through my head but the only thing that came out my mouth was silence. Forgive me if I can't greet you like an old friend, I'm still struggling to understand how you could come in and shatter my heart into little pieces and act as if nothing happened. I don't miss you but sometimes I lay in bed thinking about you and I can't get you out of my head. It's not the "I miss you" kind of thoughts though, it's the " I regret that" kind. I regret letting you push me past my limits and then forcing myself to accept that I really didn't mind. I regret giving in to you because I was afraid to lose you otherwise. I regret every minute I let you treat me less than I deserved. But most of all, I regret staying with you even after I realized you were toxic. It's not still loving you that I'm struggling with, I'm way past that, I'm still trying to love myself again after all you put me through. Did you ever realize what you did to me? Why are you spreading rumors and trying to destroy my reputation? Did you ever even care about me? Why do I even care? What good is regretting all these things going to do?
I saw you today for the first time since we ended things. A million thoughts swam through my head and I'm glad the only thing that came out of my mouth was silence.

I would **** for you
even if it meant killing me
I'd burn in flames if
you promised to treasure my ashes
I'd walk into a coffin if
it meant you'd kiss my grave
I would return to the soils
to be part of the ground on which
your tender feet gracefully glide
I'd take bullet for you
if you promised to always
keep me alive on your mind
*Because I am as good as dead without you.

We will be strangers with a memory
A powerful memory
Just... not powerful enough
And I guess that's okay
Because life is unfair
The worst thing is, though,
That we made it that way
And that's a fault we have to live in

I'm mesmerized by your eyes,
and the way you say my name,
and you look like an angel to me.