I feel as if
I am a refugee
in my own life
still in search of a
home I will
never know.

I'm scared to look in the mirror,
My reflection saddens me,
I don't feel pretty anymore,
The more I grow, the more I realize my insecurities.
I hide myself from the world,
It pains, it hurts.
What can I do?
My scars are internal,
But they show on my face.
Every day is a battle of comparison
Between myself and the pretty folks.
Maybe one day I'll sing the beauty melody...

I stood there
Looking at him
Adoringly
For faaaaaaar toooooo looooong
And then caught a big attitude
With him
Because he didn’t tell me to leave

Sometimes

Sometimes I just sit. Wading
thru thoughts.  The cells
of my future
capture
the nonloves of mythical
proportion

I have clocks all over
the walls.  We tic
together.
White sheet rock,
flat line.  Everyone’s
story is coded in the
cells.

The walls are
dry. I see names
Scri+++ names.
Thought comes and
GOs.

Tomorrow will slide over
me in an ecstasy of

feeding.

I will sit and count the
days until my sorry

***

goes….. .



Caroline Shank
7.17.2024

061824

I give you my world,
And You give me the universe.
I open my heart to You,
And You dwell within me.

I lift my hands to praise You
And You reign like a roaring thunder.
The galaxy belongs to You —
How tiny I am and yet you see me through.

My years are in the palm of Your hands—
Written by the blood of your Son…
Beloved and precious,
A King who’s always on the throne.

Your love remains steadfast,
Your grace is like the rain
Showering me every now and then
So my soul can dance with You.

I long to see You face to face
But I wait patiently
Before the curtains unveil the coming glory
And before I commit my spirit
And find its rest with You.

"You don't seem quite yourself."
you used to say to me.
You never really did understand
that there is more than one
who inhabit this body
and that you only
loved one of them.

Self wanted loneliness is peaceful and a bliss,
But, loneliness gifted to you hurts deeply.
12/10/2019