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Noone May 2018
It's strange how time can change so quickly,
Just a month ago, I was in cloud nine
and now, I m in hell divine
My playlist has switched
From love me like you do
To gloomy sunday
Time is nothing you see,
It can make you feel so much, so soon
But you don't understand
Cause you are on the otherside of the story
You are one who got the attention you never earned
And I m the one who is not getting the least I deserve
"It has only been a while. How can you feel so much?"
These are the exact words you said
Well you are right, how can I feel so much
Why do I feel so much?
Maybe, I m just like that
A girl who feels so much, so soon
And end up hurting herself so much, so soon
Noone Sep 2018
If life was just as easy as smoking a cigarette....
Noone May 2018
Go on , tell your friends about me
Show them my pictures
Expose my secrets
Humiliate me,
Tell them you had me
Elaborate the details
Of how I looked without clothes
Of how easy it was for you
Of how desperate I was for love
But dont forget to mention your part of the story too
Of how you were a coward
Of how false your intentions were
Of how you got bored of me
Of how you lied to me
Of how you broke my broken heart
Noone Feb 2019
What will you do if you become the person you never wanted to be???
When you end up on other side of the grass.
When the victim of one story becomes the culprit in the another..
Noone Apr 2018
you don't get a closure
you just need to move on now
maybe, that's the worst part of a fling
you are never sure of what to do
yeah, the thought is killing you
was it just in your head?
did he feel it too?
did he feel it too?
Noone Feb 2019
"Hey, Can we talk?"
A text popped in my phone
And I was surprised, not in a good way
I don't know if I should reply to this text???hmmm.....
Noone Apr 2018
When will this be over?
I m starting to lose my patience now
My eyes are already tired
from crying tears of blood
I don't hear my heart beating
Maybe, it is jaded too
My brain doesn't function anymore
It is haunted by the thoughts of you
I want this to be over already,
I want to be happy again.....
When will the Almighty pity on me?
When will he save me from me?
Noone May 2018
There are certain things in life you wish you could change
Some things you did you wish you could undo
Some things you said you wish you could unsay
Some things you felt you wish you could unfeel
You wish you had a Ctrl+Z button in your life
To change the things back to what it was
Noone May 2018
I don't know if god really exists
I m starting to lose my faith now
For so long, I have been crying for help
But it seems like he has gone deaf

Maybe this is it for me,
I have reached my breaking point,
Should I use a blade or a rope?
Maybe the jump of death?

But no I want it easy way
I don't have the guts to do it
Maybe I should ask someone else?
To do me this favor?
Free me from this hell....
I m not suicidal. But sometimes, you feel like you have just had enough and you just want to disappear.
Noone Mar 2019
I remember the weather that day
The rain had stopped but it was still gloomy
The sky was trying to make its way out of the angry clouds
But the clouds were stubborn as ever
What a perfect weather for coffee and cigarette
He had said Come over, I ll make you a good one...

We sat in the kitchen
Sipping coffee and smoking cigarettes
Laughing about stupid stuffs
Then he pulled me closer
Smelled my hair and pulled my cheeks
And asked if I liked the coffee
I just nodded and smirked
He could notice the blush in my face

Soon we were in his bedroom
Listening to my favorite playlist
He pulled the blanket and asked me if I m cold
I said nothing , just smiled
I was astonished how he could easily do that
I could feel that weird magnetism between us
Pulling us closer and closer
I wasnt sure about what was about to happen
Neither I was sure if I wanted anything to happen
All I knew was, it felt good
Good to be surrounded by the abundance of love

He looked into my eyes..
He could see that agreeable denial.
Then he smiled and kissed my forhead..
I said I was tired and wanted to sleep
He said nothing, just wrapped his arms around me and said its okay
When I woke up he was still staring at me
That deep brown eyes, looked like a honey pool
He leaned closer and kissed my lips
Then our tongues did the sweet wrestling
His hands did the flow
Unhooked my bra and caressed my body..

It didn't matter if we were right or wrong
All that mattered was that moment
The moment when our loneliness faded
Then my phone buzzed and a text popped
"I miss you love" it said...
Then, I pushed him away
Telling you ll fall in love
But then he kissed my lips and said no I wont..
But deep down I knew the truth
He wouldn't fall in love because he already was..
Noone Feb 2019
You have never seen the darker side of the moon..
You have only seen what I have let you  see...
You think you know me?
Oh poor boy, how do I break your phantasm?
You only know what I have let you know..
The truth is overshadowed..
I have sugarcoated my personality for you..
You think I deserve only reverence and admiration
But you are unaware of the nights I spent crying of guilt...
There are some deeds I have done that I m not proud of..
And maybe I dont want you to know..
Because if you know,
Things will be different...
You take me as an untroubled girl full of compassion..
But sometimes I wanna be emotionless...
You only think you know the real me
And perhaps I want  you to keep believing this lie
Because if you know the real me
You will leave me......
Nobody really knows noone. We only let people know what we want them to know. Everyone has that dark side that he hides from the world.
Noone Jul 2018
I dont know if I should be regretting those moments with you
At that time, it was everything I wanted...
Surely I thought it was everything you wanted too...
But it seems like our desires were not the same..
All you wanted was ****** pleasure
And all I wanted was spiritual treasure..

Of course, I am healing
Its been months since you left
But I stop my scrolls when I see your picture in my newsfeed
And wonder for awhile, why did it happen?
How did it happen?


I cant say I was possessed
Because I know it was me,
One hidden side of me...
Everything happened so quickly
Now I m just left with a question mark
Did it really happen? Did it really happen?

Then I start searching for evidences
And no, I cant find any..
I deleted them all, our pictures, our conversations, your number...
So can I say it never happened?
Can I just pretend it was all in my head?
Can I just act like everything is okay?
If I say this, will everything be okay?
Noone Aug 2018
Sure I can't force it
But I also can't help it
The things I feel for you
This undying feeling
Torturing my heart...
Oh I m sorry,
I dont have a heart
I had one...
You forgot to return it back
When you left....
Noone May 2018
There is a hole in my heart
You fired a bullet through it
The bullet got through
But the poison got stuck
The poison is engraved in the heart now
Making the hole grow bigger and bigger
People come in, try to fill in the hole
But now, the heart is in love with it
So it wont let go....
If
Noone Apr 2018
If
If I had a backspace in life,
I swear I would have stopped at hello
I wouldn't have gotten so close
I wouldn't have let you in
I don't know if it was a mistake,
I don't know if I should regret
I deleted the pictures, your number, your texts
But tell me, what do I do with these memories?
Tell me, how do I delete them?
Noone Apr 2018
If God forgave my one sin,
I swear I would have killed you
I swear I want to
I swear I want to

For all the things you did to me,
For all the things I wish you did
No, I wasn't such a hateful person
You made me like this,
You made me like this

I don't feel a thing now...
What is pain? What is fear?
All I know is loneliness,
Loneliness eating me alive
That long never-ending nights,
Nights so dark and monstrous,
Nights so melancholy...

You destroyed all that I had left,
Now I m just a broken soul.
Oh, how much I want to hate you,
Oh, how much I wish you knew
But still, in this life, I can't
No, I can't hate you
No, I really can't

If God forgave my one sin,
Yes, I want to **** you...
Place a knife in your heart,
And check if you had one
But no, I wouldn't be able to do it
No, I can't.....
Noone May 2018
How can you not care?
How can you be okay knowing that you have destroyed me?
How can you just go away?
How can you do that?
What are you?
Are you a human?
Do you have a heart?
Do you have feelings?
Did you ever feel a thing for me?
What was I to you?
Was it all a phony?
Why did you do that?
Are you never going to say sorry?
Are you even sorry?
Will I ever get the answers to these questions?
Noone May 2018
People say you dont expect when you truly love....
They are all liers, you see!
You certainly start to expect at one point
Maybe just a text
Maybe just a call
Maybe just a short coffee date
Maybe just a cute holding of hands
Maybe just a peck on your cheeks
Maybe just a quick tongue wrestling
Maybe just a sweet attention
Maybe just a tiny more time
Maybe just a little love??
Not much, just a little , you see!!
Noone Jan 2019
I write everytime you cross my mind
I write everytime I miss you
I write everytime I cant talk to you
I write everytime I want to forget you
I write everytime I want to let go of you
I wonder if I ll ever stop writing
Noone May 2018
Your face is similar to the one in my dreams.
Could it be you?
My savior?
I m just so afraid to fall in love again!!!
Noone Jul 2018
finally, there comes a time when you learn to let go
Let go of all the grudges
Let go of all the guilt
Let go of all the unanswered questions
Let go of all that was hurting you
Maybe he never deserved your forgiveness
Yes, he never even asked for it
But finally there comes a time when you learn to let go
Let go of him
Noone Oct 2018
You know he was a drug,
A drug that made you forget everything,
A drug that created an amazing illusion,
A drug that made you believe your world is beautiful,
A drug that certainly made you high,
High on life, high on love
A drug that gave you the most sensual ******,
An ****** that made you scream out your lungs,
A drug that made you addicted to it,
Addicted to its smell, addicted to its touch....

But certainly the effect had to wear off one day,
Now you are feeling everything,
You are realizing everything,
You are so unhappy,
Your job is so unsatisfying,
You dont have a social life,
Your family is dissapointed on you,
You are feeling it all,
Everything at once,
Now you dont know what to do,
Coz you have run out of that drug,
You stand there alone with a question mark in your mind
Was the drug killing you?
Or was it saving you?
Noone May 2018
When I was a kid,
I always fancied the idea of love,
Saw my elder sisters go out on dates,
And overheard them talking on the phone..
Saw them smiling to themselves,
And  hiding their faces in the pillow..

I always wondered how it felt like to be in love,
The flowers, The chocolates
The gifts, The surprises
The cliched dates
The romantic candlelight
The kiss under the moon
The sweet love-making
Magical!!! I had imagined

But it turns out,
That love was not meant for me
For me,
Love is pain
Love is unworthiness
Love is your heart ripping off
Love is feeling that ache literally in your stomach and chest
Love is torment
Love is drowning in toxin
Love is wanting so bad to escape
Love is crying yourself to sleep
Love is sitting on the bathroom floor at 2 am and sobbing
Love is doubting your self- existence
Love is wanting to take your own life
Love is hell....
Noone Feb 2019
Maybe your jokes aren't that funny..
But I laugh anyway..
So now you think you have got the way to my heart...
Maybe I modify the thoughts in my head..
When I tell you what I like..
So now you think you can certainly make me happy...
Maybe I dont miss you that much...
When I tell you my feelings resonate with that melody..
But now you think I think of you most of the time...
The raw truth of how fake people can be..
Noone May 2018
Why is moving on so hard?
A day, A week, A month
And again I go back to the start
I promise I don' t love you anymore
I promise I don't hate you anymore
I promise I don't feel a thing anymore
But again, Why is moving on so hard?
Noone Apr 2018
I haven't seen myself in the mirror for a while,
I m scared of what I'll look like..
The dark circles around my eyes,
Knows all the secrets of my sleepless nights...
Nights I spend wondering...
Did I even matter to you?
Did I even matter to you?

Oh, how much I want to escape from you..
Maybe some morphine, that'll do
No, I won't think about you..
No, I don't want to think about you!!!!!
Cause I know while I m in bed thinking of you
You are also in bed about to get laid in just one, two...

For once, I wish this was untrue
For once, I wish you knew
This pain that I m going through
You left me saying that I deserved the world
But I just wanted to deserve you......
Don't call my love one-sided,
Cause I wouldn't have fallen for you,
If you hadn't made me believe
That you'd catch me when I do!!!
Noone Apr 2018
what do I say when they ask me?
were you a friend?
were you a lover?
maybe just a painkiller
to soothe me for a while
yes, you told me all I needed to hear
you held my hands and looked into my eyes
you told me I am the most beautiful of all,
caressed my hair, and kissed my lips
a kiss like a magic spell

Now your effect is wearing off
making me feel all the things
it hurts so bad I cant tell
yes, you were my fantasy
My illusion, my fairytale
I lived my dream for a while
and now that I m wide awake
the illusion has faded
and the fairytale has ended
Noone Apr 2018
Why did you awaken the love in me?
When you didn't have any intention to love me back..
Why did you make my heart flutter?
When you were going to break itanyway..
I know, I was a naive girl
To fall for your trick
I should have known
I should have known..
You were that demon disguised as an angel.
Candy to my eyes but poison to my soul..
Yeah, you poisoned me
And now, I cant breathe
Noone Feb 2019
Queiro abrazarte
Queiro besarte
Queiro vivir contigo
Por favor dame una oportunidad...
Taking spanish classes. So tried to write a poem. XOXO..
Noone Aug 2018
Go on, show that you own him
Post pictures on social media
Depicting stories of how madly you're in love
But no, he can never be yours
Because its his soul that I have held captive...
You may lure him to bed
With all the skills that you have
**** him to his heart's content
But remember, I am a memory he can't erase
I m gonna live in him forever
You think he loves you, dont you?
Oh poor girl... how naive you are
He is trying to find me in you
But I promise, he wont be able to
Noone Sep 2018
You have left me stuck
Stuck in a maze
I can't find my way out
I try to make this maze my home
But I get tired of it
I want to get out of it
But I have lost my way
This maze is dark
Anxieties, fear, frustrations
Guilt, regret, pain
There isn't a hint of happiness here
My heart screams from within
My soul begging to live
But I am stuck here
I wonder when will I ever get out......
Noone Feb 2019
3am, my bestfriend..
She certainly knows me in my most unadulterated form...
My anxieties, my fears, my frustrations...
3am, my bestfriend...
She is really good at keeping secrets..
For when I wake up in the morning, no body knows a thing
3am, my bestfriend
She sure is a good listener..
Listens to my sobbing, when I stuff cloth in my mouth to make sure I dont make any sound...
3am, my bestfriend
She is also a good counselor
Consoles me till my.heart is empty, till my eyes are dry...
3am, my bestfriend
I dont doubt her loyalty
I know she ll be there for me, every time the soul in me cries for help
Noone Apr 2018
I know my texts don't excite you anymore,
But you are polite enough to reply it anyway
And if I call you, you'll receive it too
But I know you cringe when you hear my voice
Just for the night , you needed me
Just for that one night
The night's already over
But I m not over you yet

I remember everything, so clearly in my head
How beautifully you sang, & I sang along with you
How you made me laugh, laugh & laugh so hard
How you held my hands & we tried to dance
How your lips blew life to my cold and dry spirit
How the butterflies in my stomach fluttered
How my cheeks turned crimson and I looked away
But you kept on staring at me
Like  you wanted to fall in love...

I did not undress my body that night,
I undressed my soul
I put it right in front you
Just in its purest form
I let you see me,
See all my imperfections
I told you all my fears,
The secrets I hid inside,
I thought this is it,
This is what I had been looking for,
My soul was happy
And thought it had found "THE ONE"

Little did I know, it was only for the night
Just for that one night
So tell me who do I blame?
Blame you for setting up my hopes high
Or blame me for believing the truth like lie
Or should I just blame the night?
The night for lasting just awhile.......
Noone Oct 2018
You don't know how many times I have erased the texts I wanted to send you...

"Hey!"

" Hey! Can we talk?"

"Hi, How have you been?"

" I miss you.. Do you miss me too?"

" I heard a song today. It reminded me of you.."

" I found a new place to eat. The coffee they serve is great..."

"Can we meet? I want to see you..."

"Can I call you? I just want to hear your voice...."

"I am sorry."

"I am sorry. Can we start over again?"

" We gave up too soon, too easily. I want to give us another chance."

" I feel restless. I need you.."

" I m scared. Please tell me it'll be okay..."

" I love you. Please come back..."
Noone Sep 2019
Find your mental peace.

Delete them all, the texts, the pictures, the number.

Don't try to win the breakup. It doesn't matter anymore.

You need not explain anything to anyone. Your happiness is the only thing that matters. Let the toxicity go.

Don't try to seek answers to any questions or any doubt.

Don't try to fight the reality.

****** that light of hope you have in your heart.

Don't let your heart take over your mind anymore.

Deep down, you know the truth. You know that it's over. It is going to hurt you as long as you deny this truth.

Don't live in that bubble anymore.

Be strong. Console yourself. Move on.

This pain is temporary. After 5 or 10 years, it wont matter anymore. All you need to do is stand up for yourself. Be there for yourself.

Know that you are enough. Know that you deserve the best. Know that it was not your fault. Know that you tried your best. Know that you gave all of you.

What is done cannot be undone. Don't regret. Don't repent. It's okay. It's alright.

Forgive him. Forgive yourself. Forgive the situation.

Don't hate him. Don't. For you know hate is just a confused love.

Let it go. Set yourself free.....
Today I went through all of the old messages, re-read the conversations. And I deleted them all.
I have known that I will never be able to move on if I keep on clinging into things that no longer last.
Noone Feb 2019
I am trying to hold back my feelings
Because I don't wanna fall in love again
I have known love is no good for me
It will only wreck what is left
Noone Apr 2018
Dont try to get the answer of why
He doesn't owe you an explanation..
Yes, you showed him the best of you
But still you weren't good enough..
He doesn't know how you look..
With red eyes and messy hair..
He doesn't know how you look..
With all the stupid whining you do..
Yes, you showed him the best of you
But still you weren't good enough..
Maybe that's why you are feeling so low
So empty, so blue..
Noone May 2019
why do we all want things we cant have...........
When you fall for someone who doesn't love you back.
Noone May 2018
My eyes are so weary and tired
But sleep wont come to me
It seems like it has forgotten its way
Too many mindboggling thoughts
Thoughts exploding in my head
Why wont they just go away?
Why can't I just forget?
Why can't I just give up?
My mind is fed up trying to convince my heart
This stupid, stubborn heart
It is still beating in a hope
Hope that one day
He is going to come back
Come back to stay
But this heart is stupid, isn't it?
Wishing for the impossible
He left me but his thoughts still haunt my mind
They just don't leave me alone
Noone May 2018
I saw her posting pictures of you two together today,
I don't know what happened to me after that
I could feel it, in my stomach, in my chest
I don't know what it was
Was it jealousy? Was it rage?

A series of questions are torturing my brain now
Why her? Why not me?
Am I not pretty than her?
Am I not beautiful than her?
Am I not girl enough?

I  surely don't know how to curl my lashes
I don't know how to fix my eyebrows
Can't walk on heels, Can't put on makeup
Never wore a skirt, never even an earring

But I know what makes you smile,
You like to get drunk on *****,
And sing Ed Shereen
You like to dance like crazy
You call it your "drunk dance"

Your eyes become wet when you yawn
And You don't like the freckles on your shoulder
You like pizza, But won't eat it
I don't wanna get fat you say

You have your way of kissing too
My style you call it,
when our tongues touch just for nanoseconds
And you pull yourself away

You like it when I give you a hickie
You'll check in the mirror if it is blue enough
You like running your fingers down my spine
"I love your curves", you tell me
"Your skin is so soft and you smell so pure"

You like sharing your toothbrush
You like hiding my clothes
You like closing your eyes and expecting me to kiss you
And when I don't , I can see the cute disappointment in your smile

You like chocolates 200%
You like gifts like a girl
Birthdays excite you like a child
And you can't watch a horror movie at night

Are these all phony?
The things you said to me, the things we did together
If so, you are quite an actor
And if I could, I would nominate you for an award
An award for the best teller of the untruths.....
That's what you are, a LIAR
Noone Aug 2019
Sometimes some things happen that change your life forever,
Some secrets revealed that break you apart.
Some words they say that pierces the soul.
People call me fake, I pretend to care they say
For I have that smily face to disguise me well
They don't know how difficult it is for me
When I m sitting alone in a room with my thoughts
Those haunting thoughts
The images stuck in my head
Mind is a wild thing , you see
It lets you see things even when you are not there..
The rumors I heard, the pictures I paint
I don't know how much they resonate
But they haunt me..
Pictures of you holding someone else in your arm
Cuddling and falling asleep..
I got to know some ***** secrets that changed my perception on love and faith forever. I feel so betrayed.
Noone May 2018
If I ever meet you again,
I just want to ask,
Why did you do this to me?
Please tell me why?
But I know you’ll stand there
look me dead in the eyes and ask me instead,
What have I done to you?
What have I done to you?

I won't have any answer to that question
I know I can't answer that but
Look into my eyes,
Look how lifeless they are,
They keep on staring at the blank,
At the ceiling, at the wall
Maybe you have the answer to what  they are searching for

Look at my smile,
Look how broken it is,
But it disguises me quite well,
Helps me to profess I m okay
Maybe you know a way to fix this

Look at my skin,
Look how pale it is,
I have been starving myself lately,
I don’t know what hunger feels like,
Maybe you have the answer to why I m not thirsty anymore

You have broken me into million pieces,
In such a way I can never sew them back together
I don't have faith in love anymore,
Relationships are ****
No, I can't trust anyone anymore
My heart trembles by the fear it will break again
My body fears the touch of a human
For it thinks it will be used again
My soul doesn't seek anyone's company anymore
It cannot endure the pain of separation again
After all of  this, if  I ask you why
You 'll still have that audacity to ask me back cold-heartedly
What have I done to you?
What have I done to you?
Noone Apr 2018
I ll never know where I went wrong,
I ll never know why I wasn't good enough...
Was it the way I caressed your hair?
Was it the way I touched your cheeks?
Was it the way I held your hands?
Was it the way I blushed when you looked at me?
Was it the way I laughed at your not so funny jokes?
Was it the way I kissed you all night?
Was it the way I hugged you so tight?
Was it the way I called to say goodnight?
Was it the way I texted to say I miss you?
Was is the way I got worried when you were sick?
Was is the way I knew all your favorites?
Was it the way I told you I love you?
Was it the way I gave my all to you?
Where did I go wrong ??
Please tell me this,
Why wasn't I enough?

— The End —