I say I miss the sky
I say I miss peace
I say I miss happiness
I say I miss the sun
but its you I miss
I wanted your love
I couldn't have your love
I wanted your hands
I couldn't have your hands
I loved you handsome
did I know you loved me too
ironic, isn't it?,
that two souls make one heart

I have known you
Sitting beautifully
With your legs crossed
Beside the shelves
Reading Catcher
Your hair bright as the book cover

I have known you
Stepping out in day light
With blackness
The white flowers in the air
Fail to resist your skirt

I have known you
Before standing shirtless
In my door way
Whispering drugs when we sleep

I have known you
Far away in the distance
Hair fading orange explosion
Catches me
I surrender like a moth

I have known you
Past the bus stops
And greyhounds
Driving in your Sedan
Singing December

I have known you
Skin as white and bright
As thunder clouds
Pink, as I press my fingers
Against your stomach

I have known you
Swimming in the nighttime
Walking on boats
Heading for the coast
With a hand full of smooth pebbles

I have known you
Deep by the riverside
Painstakingly trying
To drown your fourteen

I have known you
Naked in the night
Laying on the floor
Beside the shelves
Waiting for a fix

I have known you
Seen you catch rainfall
With your tongue
You are use
To tasting tears

I have known you
Running across
The dim valley
Eyes towards the cactus
Toes in the soil
Feeling California  

I have known you
Caught you staring
At the foreboding sunrise
Wishing for it to slow down

I have known you
The color of scarlet
Apples in the summer
Fresh blood of war
On your hair
That fire grows
With each breeze

I have known you
Beneath the avalanches
Near Everest
Above the clouds
Near the Eiffel

I have known you
But I cannot find you

You sat on the other end of the table
Glistening, shining, and taunting me
Rosy cheeks with spurts of Yellow and Green
Silently teasing
A juicy, little Apple.
Hopefully no one would see me, no one would pay any attention
As I grabbed the treat and the knife
And began to dangerously peel.
I knew I was doing it wrong
My hands shaking while my cheeks began to flush
Embarrassed by my ignorant inadequacy.
Are you left-handed? she asked from my left.
Humiliation filled the corners of my eyes, wet and distraught.
No, I mumbled. My cheeks reflecting Mose's Red Sea.
I was beginning to drown.
Your thumb needs to move, You make me nervous,
and she sounded nervous indeed.
Put it down here. Help yourself control it. Guide it.
Everyone was staring now, the whole table awed
My ignorance showing, like a medallion at my chest
My shameful Apple as pathetic proof.
You're doing it wrong.
Non così. Basta, faccio io.
Let me do it.
You're about to graduate, and you can't peel an apple.
I began choking, drowning in tears of Humiliation.
No, let her do it the small Voice on my left said.
She is finding her way. Let me watch her.
I finished peeling the Apple
Suffocating my tears as I ate.
You remind me of Daisy, she said soon after
From The Great Gatsby.
I choked and laughed, more ashamed than ever.
I'm not sure that is a compliment.
I could barely muster a mumble.
She couldn't do anything by herself.
She looked at me, gentle and forgiving.
I think it is, she replied
Wistful and Wise.
Daisy was vital to the story, you know.
And I believe that given the chance, she could have done anything that she wanted
*On her own.

Do you feel the ‘touch’?
Stirring old memories
Your body awakens
To the familiar ‘touch’
Blossoming the heart
‘Touch’, etched in your memory
Opening the hidden chambers
Where I once inhabited
Passions reaching a crescendo
As we have touched the familiar chord**




© Amitav (Radiance)

We search once more for the crystal stream
Where poets wrote and young lovers dreamt
Of the beautiful years to come

But no more now is the crystal stream
Where poets wrote and lovers dreamt
Of the beautiful years to   come

The crystal stream now a fetid place
Of sewage and industrial waste
The hedgerows long ripped out and gone
The once green fields now barren ground
What legacy do we leave to our unborn sons
Now that the beautiful years have gone

But we poets still can sit and dream
And write of things that might have been
In our minds we still see the crystal stream
And dream of the beautiful years to come

I like writing about only love,
almost love and beyond love
No love is greater than my love
No love is harder than my love
Because my love, I have always failed you
Am I asking much when I say
I am working on the plan to **** you
or if I say
I loved you once when your eyes
were blue
You came quietly to my surrounding
But you brought earthquakes and volcanoes together
when you entered my house
I failed you once and twice
But you failed me everytime
my love is hardest
because I never loved the idea of love.
of love, more than once
But I loved everyone except you
And not loving you killed me
and I am so fond of eyes on blue

I knew it was wrong from the very start

I should have never let myself indulge
In this pathetic idea of us

But there I was, hoping to see you around the corner and when you were there my day suddenly had a purpose

I started to need you around and couldn't help but smile when you looked at me

I thought I had picked up on little hints from you.

That maybe you liked being around me as much as I liked being around you

That maybe you waited around the corner until I was there so you could "bump" into me

God I was such an idiot!

Of course none of it was true there were no hints, no waiting behind corners  

To be honest I'm embarrassed, you probably hated every second you were around me

This is why I don't let these sought of things happen to me but somehow you snuck  through the cracks in my armor

And I couldn't get you out

I really don't know why I expected any different

Especially from you...