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This Year
When your tear-filled eyes
are looking for
someone to fall in love with,

Make sure you look in the mirror.
noun | pen·e·tra·tion |\pe-nə-ˈtrā-shən\
1) the act of going through or into something: the act of penetrating something
2) an ability to understand things clearly and fully*

if you penetrate their body
without entering their mind
you aren't really all the way in
I’m a cliché.
I’m a walking broken piece of glass,
insisting my glimmer is different
than all of the other fissures of society.
I seem to think there is something romantic
about living like I hate myself.
I am not only comfortable with being unhealthy,
I welcome it with kisses and perfume.
Living in the style of a Shakespearian play,
we are all tragedies,
Perhaps with a comedy thrown in the middle.

You and I,
We’ve been the
Lovers
In this
Divine Comedy
Far Longer than
Romeo or Juliet
Could bear to wait.

Yes, we have abandoned
The Unities of
Time
Place
And Action

So harshly,
That even we
Have grown into
A bored audience;

Searching out
Our Comedic Ending

But we’ve never really been
Good at timing.  

We’ve made our
Repeated Exits.

Always coming back
A Cue
Too early
Or
A Line
Too late.

Each time
Twisting words
And Actions
Trying to make
Each other fit back into
Our Plot.
But what if we are the truest
Star Crossed Lovers

As our plays don’t even
Have the same
Title?

It has always been
“To be with eachother
or
To Not be with eachother”

And I really, really don’t want
To end like Hamlet.

But the fault seems to be
In the stars,
As each of our
Actions
Seems to seek
More and more
For a resolution

That neither
Our
Stage Directions
Nor
Lines
Seem to offer.

We round ourselves out
With table work
And character development

But with each interaction
We find that we are
Static, together.  

It seems as if
We were a rough draft,
Left unfinished.

So we stand on this
Threshold,
Clinging to another possible
Classic.
But dissolving into the oblivion
That all
Unfinished works of Art
must face.

We are less than a tragedy,
As our deaths are silent
And no one will ever weep at our tale,
Simply because it will never have been told.

At my brink of oblivion,
I want you to know
Our story should be a history,
Simply a reflection
On the fact
That we were
Not fiction.

Lower than
King Henry
And
King Charles,

But Still,
Real
Like
A Golden Crown
For which we did not ****,
But simply pleaded
To no avail.
I just don’t know how to be alone.
All I find comfort in seems to be that too clear liquid
that smells
too much like rubbing alcohol,
but tastes
like relief in a bottle.
It burns down my throat
but it feels like a heaven
I didn’t have to die to get to.
It’s peace in a place of chaos.
A pool in the midst of summer’s fire.
We knew it wasn’t over
Because our eyes
Always found
Eachother’s
Before they hid
In the cinderblock
Across the room.
I hate Alcohol

The burn down my throat
The immediate feeling of impending *****
The way it makes my face all rosy

I hate Cigarettes

The taste of the tar filming my lungs
The heat at the back of my mouth
The cough that stays longer then the flame’s invitation

I hate You

The weeks of silence during your antisocial comas
The love proclamations left unsaid
The line that you’ve so carefully scalded  between us


It’s 9:27 PM on a night that feels like Fire

I am Drunk already
I am Chain Smoking your brand of cigarettes
I am Praying for anything at all from you

I hate that.
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