Though each day
may seem long,
Life is short.

Kiss slowly and
savour each breath,
Love truly; remember.

Laugh uncontrollably,
Especially at yourself.
Life is short, forgive
quickly, no regrets.

I get the sense of some venture,
And want to push for experience;
The pursuit of excellence, what else?
Is there anything other?
The pursuit of Otherness, perhaps.
What of mediocrity,
And of what we say merits?
Does intention have merit unto itself?
Is our pursuit of the good life so premised on virtue,
And the Other as premised on whatever's vice?

I reclaim my cravings, and return
to attend to some wayward notions
in the darkness of my dear hometown.
Laudatio Ejus Manet In Secula Seculorum.
Who let the living out?

We'll sing of the sesh, our heads' song,
With cheering rousing bants,
As 'round a blazing joint we throng,
The starry heavens clothe us,
Impatient for thy coming line,
To shtall off tha morning's ****-light,
Hear our tchoons pulse thru the night,
We'll chant a sesh-head's song.

Sesh-heads are we
whose lives are pledged to sessioning,
People have come
to us from places all over,
Sworn to rave,
No more our ancient seshland
shall shelter the anti-craic of the state.
Tonight we house the gap of danger,
In session's cause, comedown or ****,
Bass cannon's roar as we dance,
We'll chant a session's song.

More than half a year after you broke my heart
it's near six in the morning, the sky is still, the morn is dark.
I've been up all night and I just realized
there is no photographic evidence that our relationship existed;
And I can't decide
whether or not I'm glad.
I don't miss you anymore
but still I miss what we had.

Were you ever somewhere so vivid,
At a place so sublime,
You felt you could just reach out
and catch the smoke trails
filtering through light.

I clutch at reality
because dreams feel closer to me.

The past on repeat, calm me.
Either "my head is a jungle" or my life's a maze.

Told myself I should get to America by 27.
I hear some euphoric vocal.

Earlier I took naproxen, esomeprazole, paracetamol
to alleviate the strain caused by excessive screen-time.
I'm such an addict. Was it a lie, that I managed to forget?
Me, a dopamine ******.

I thought it right to assess some antidepressants, which philosophers are more inclined to call mood enhancers.
This was during my foray into human enhancement, substances intended to enhance physicality, cognition or mood. Nootropic compounds concern the latter two categories.

The most commonly prescribed mood enhancers are serotonin reuptake inhibitors (SRIs), but it takes over a week for these compounds reach their peak effect.
Thus I approached them with the notion that a limited dosage might point to their character, though  not reveal. These considerations in mind, I set about acquiring a few miscellaneous anti-D's.

Fluoxetine was the first successful selective serotonin re-uptake inhibitor (SSRI), better known by its original brand-name Prozac. Fluoxetine has an acute biological half-life of between 1-3 days. Presence of a trifluoromethyl group on the compound deserves note, I wonder what the presence of electronegative fluorine atoms add to the psychoactive flavor of a compound (subjective effects).
I administered a single dose by mouth, there was some indication of subjective character. Light serotonergic sensations and seemingly benign mood-dampening, there is a ****** towards the positive. Waking headspace relatively uninteresting. Observed hints of oneirogenesis, did not manifest in enough character to be detailed - a sort of vivid, 'pulsive wandering, more pronounced in contrast to its waking character.
Good experiment, interesting results.
Ligand     Ki (nM)   Ki (nM)
Target      Flx            Nflx
SERT        1               19
NET         660           2700
DAT         4180         420
5-HT2A   200           300
5-HT2B    5000         5100
5-HT2C    72.6          91.2
α1             3000         3900
M1            870           1200
M2            2700         4600
M3            1000         760
M4            2900         2600
M5            2700         2200
H1            3250         10000

Sertraline is another popular SSRI, also known by it's original brand-name Zoloft. Sertraline has a variable half-life, on average 26 hours.
It's metabolite, desmethylsertraline, has a half life between 62-104 hours but is a far less potent Serotonin Releasing Agent (SRA).
The presence of two chlorine atoms is interesting. The usual, phenomenal serotonergicity is present and pushing towards the positive.
Some nausea, particularly when hungry (this disappeared after some minestrone soup). Some faintness after physical exertion. This dose did not promote onirogenesis. There was a moment of cognitive distortion when the proportions of a focal object seemed to be growing in-and-out, shifting in size.
Site                 Ki (nM)
SERT              0.15–3.3
NET               420–925
DAT               22–315
5-HT1A       >35,000
5-HT2A          2,207
5-HT2C          2,298
α1A        ­        1900
α1B                 3,500
α1D                 2,500
α2                  477–4,100
D2                  10,700
H1                  24,000
mACh           427–2,100
σ1                   32–57
σ2                   5,297

Escitalopram is an SSRI commonly prescribed for major depression and generalised anxiety. It is the (S)-stereoisomer of citalopram. The biological half-life is of escitalopram is between 27-32 hours.
I administered a dose and thought the phenomenal serotonergicity less apparent than fluoxetine but then gastro-intestinal disturbance was noted, I surmised it has a high affinity for 5-HT2C.
Any oneiric qualities were not readily apparent after a single dose, relatively little visual imagery which is understandable given its lack of affinity for 5-HT2A. I found this to be philosophically interesting. Mood elevation observed in bursts of conversation and as odd sensations, possible mental discomfort.
Ligand,
Recptr     Ki (nM)
SERT       2.5
NET        6,514
5-HT2C   2,531
α1            3,870
M1           1,242
H1           1,973

Venlafaxine is a selective serotonin-norepinephrine reuptake inhibitor (SNRI). Venlafaxine and its metabolites are active for about 11 hours.
Initial subjective effects similar to a very light empathogenic stimulant. Perception of altered attention-span/increased reflexive response; energizing yet paradoxically much yawning.
Ligand,  Vnfx      Dvnfx
Recptr    Ki(nM)  Ki(nM)
SERT  ­    82           40.2
NET       2480        558.4

Tianeptine is a tricyclic antidepressant (TCA) with an unusual mechanism of action. It is an atypical agonist of the μ-opioid receptor and has been described as a (selective) serotonin reuptake enhancer (SRE). It has a short duration as sodium salts [prescribed form] of between 2-4 hours but as sulfate this can be notably extended, some of its metabolites are active for longer than tianeptine itself.
Definitely anxiolytic, quite artificial; possible aphrodisiac. I find its opioid activity dissuading, requires caution.
Site          Ki (nM)
MOR       383–768 (Ki)
                 194 (EC50)
DOR      >10,000 (Ki)
                 37,400 (EC50)
KOR      >10,000 (Ki)
                 100,000 (EC50)
All other transporter/receptor/sub-receptor values are >10,000 (Ki).

Bupropion is a norepinephrine-dopamine reuptake inhibitor (NDRI) with affinity for some nicotinic receptors. Bupropion and its metabolites are active for between 12-36 hours. Interestingly it is a substituted cathinone.
Initial subjective effects similar to a fairly light stimulant. Perception of increased attention-span and improved cognition. It is an onirogen that is neutral in quality, enhancing vivid dreaming (a boon of its nicotinic affinity which is counteracted if the stimulant component impinges on sleep). Completely absent of serotonergicity, curious.
The N-tert-butyl group's effect is most interesting, how it affects metabolism and to what extent ROAs alter pharmacokinetics.
I took 150mg ******, as extended and as instant release (the latter was more pronounced). I thought an altered pharmakinetic profile might result from bypass of hepatic metabolism, so I tried 25mg insufflated and felt as if there was effect that it differed slightly from oral ROAs, but also worried that its metabolic fate is thence unknown (compare to the neurotoxic 3-CMC). What of other bupropiologues,
for example, 3-Methyl-N-tert-butyl-methcathinone? Indeed.
                        Bupropion    R,R-Hydroxybuprpn   Threo-hydrobuprpn
AUC               1                     23.8                                  11.2
Half-life         11 h                 19 h                                 31 h
IC50 (μM)
DAT               0.66                  inactive                          47 (rat)
NET               1.85                   9.9                                  16 (rat)
SERT              inactive          inactive               ­            67 (rat)
α3β4 nic         1.8                   6.5                                   14 (rat)
α4β2 nic         12                     31                                   no data
α1β1γδ nic     7.9                    7.6                                  no data

Moclobemide is a reversible inhibitor of monoamine oxidase A (RIMA), its monoamine oxidase inhibition lasts about 8–10 hours and wears off completely by 24 hours. Inhibiting the decomposition of monoamines (e.g. serotonin, norepinephrine and dopamine) increases their accumulation at an extracellular level. It tends to suppress REM sleep and so it lacks oneirogenic properties.
Feeling of well-being, less constrained by the usual anxieties; openness. Relatively unnoticeable side-effects when diet is carefully managed. Made the mistake of eating a cheese and turkey sandwich (i.e. foodstuff rich in tryptophan/tyramine), indications of serotonergicity later became apparent: feelings of overheating and flushing, slight sweating, racing thoughts and anxious discomfort. A stark reminder of Shulgin's old adage: "there is no casual experiment".
Combination with a select few tryptamines (not 5-MeO-xxT) should be safe, and synergistic (perfect for pharmahuasca); reputed to potentiate GHB. However, generally it is extremely dangerous to combine with serotonergic drugs.

I took 15mg of mirtazapine on Sunday evening out of pure curiosity.

As a result of its histaminergic activity there is sedation
yet I find I am easily surprised, jumpy but tired.
Initial slight sensations of arthralgia.

After a few hours I identify mild eidetic imagery,
Ever-so-slightly persistent with closed eyes.
These visual hallucinations emerge
from imagination, neither delirious nor lucid.
Perhaps they're more like vivid daydreams
and would leave with tolerance.

This faint mode of hallucination led into and out of sleep,
Supplanting hypnogogic and hypnopompic imagery.
What I remembered of dreaming was much the same:
Nonsensical conetent with similar imagery.
Upon waking its effects were still apparent.

Felt quite low last weekend. Took 12.5mg of amitryptaline.
I'd been meaning to  assess its effect on sleep/dreaming
as part of a long-running personal experiment.
Experienced hypogogia as I drifted off that night
but the content of dreaming itself was unclear.
The sedate feeling lingered into the next day.

Forty-eight hours after initial administration
I noticed an offset/aftereffect. I dreamed that night
and remembered enough nonsense to be bored/perturbed.
I experienced a vivid hypnopompic state, whereby
parts of my dream clung to waking thought for long enough
to remember some narrative (some sort of teen-drama mash-up
but the lovable main characters were missing, and I was earnestly
trying to convince myself it [the dream?] was worth continuing.

I often wonder what my Wiki entry
will say about me, if at all.
"November, nineteen-ninety-four
to two-thousand-and-whenever."
Someday, sometime. It sits in my mind.

So we chase sublime.

Can't catch me ‘cause I'm smoke.
Far off the beaten path,
Come find us and have a ****;
At our abandoned enclave, on the balcony
as the starry lake shimmers graciously.

Gods don't sleep,
They dream.

I dream dreams
of universal things.
They take my daze,
Like a forgotten deity
prowling a maze.

She stepped inside,
Dripping in gold.
Curious to discover
"just how deep
the rabbit hole goes".

Tarry not on the thought
of what time shall whither,
Nostalgic ache is a beatific bane
as "all that is gold does not glitter".

What is intangible shall remain,
I am a god as I stand in the rain.

Once upon a time
there was a young adult
who spent time on the dark web,
Searching for the most obscure and exotic substances humanity could offer.

Late nights tracking down vendors with the most up-to-date wares:
Drugs.
Research chemicals,
Novel psychoactive substances.
Illicit pharmaceuticals and exotic materials.
Pills, powder, liquid, tabs, any material one could find.
Uppers, downers, dissos, deliriants,
Psyches, anti-psyches, stimulants,
Depressants, anti-depressants,
*** drugs, study drugs,
'noids, 'roids, and
even vitamins.

There was the standard battery of illegal narcotics,
******* knockoffs of more popular drugs,
Drugs designed to evade anti-doping tests
and then the more experimental stuff.

Suffice to say this part of the internet is a strange and lawless world.
Not like the Wild West, more like the backstreets of Seoul.

The goal was nothing more than knowledge
of this rapidly evolving-world.

One night a vendor's listing flagged their attention
and on an intuition they acquired
a batch of synthetic cannabinoids for nothing.
A few days later a letter arrived
containing several unlabeled bags of power.

It took many months to even partially identify them.
The vendor went dark before the results came in.

One compound was entirely novel. It did not have a name
so it was assigned one. It did not have a history of human use
but had entered the wild human populace.

After identification they were destroyed.
The properties of that novel compound remain unknown.

Chained to the sky,
Bound to the air,
As a child I thought
the world upon his shoulders
represented what we are born to bear:
The burden of consciousness;
Is each of us
holding back
the heavens?

I wondered a lie, it is my head.

The culture within me seeks solace in
substance, and I wonder
why my mental health won't stay wholesome.

It is hard to hear that genuine, innocent voice
anymore, to hear it put words to my mouth.
My head pounds with nervous aftershock.

I was quite manic today. It is clear to me
I was not in control of myself

and would do well to seek help, or administer something
that'd reconcile with myself with
these sways.

Hatred. My heart burns with it.
How can I forgive myself?
Part of me
wants to watch it burn.
Is it okay to write that?
To admit to living
in a world of one's own

sins and torment;
A survival technique:
To look toward a dark future
spent living in the past.

I'll not shy away from
reasoned discourse, nor
should I go willingly into my pain
thinking it'll save me.

The next day I took a single milligram
of 4-chlorodiazepam.

It can't plausibly be, infinity;
Psilo-Cybranity
seeking liberty.

His body shivered, thy
Myth of Entactus
flowing through him.

Symbiosis
is hybridity,
Finally transcendent.

The question of what next is put to my wandering mind.
I may meander through a couple analgesics, anxiolytics,
or tread cautiously through an odd assortment of spices.
Alas, there are still so many trips, yes, I hear the Entheon
calling, calling out my name: "Mydriasis, come home to me".

Lets reexamine this phenomenon, of entheogenesis, whyever
it should be so spiritual for some
but no longer for me

is our question: an ethnology.
Earendel; The pilgrim
sought Empathos, Psychedelos.

Autumn blew through,

So I'll throw some memories out,

Thoughts on how little we belong
and on what true adolescence was.
In my teenage years I learned much
and began to yearn
for experience
and the sensations I covet.
Let the seasons breed those destined memories!
What say you on  predetermined temporality?

Lads, no matter what happens
smile,
'cause we saw it all;

It was June in Fall.

Like glass bottles kiss the pavement,

The Kωκυτός (Cocytus) and
The Ἀχέρων (Acheron) broke
around the stone I stood upon.
A mephitic fog enveloped me as
I left, it urged me to forget myself.
I ran from the mists of oblivion and
afterwards I swore an oath on the Styx,

Reminding me to let life
get under my skin and run
through my cavernous veins,

We're all searching for that one hit
that felt as good as the first,
At the sum of all things
I realised what didn't hurt.

Life flies
like the setting sky
viewed from a {scenic/suburban} bus ride
into the city on the cusp of night; that dusk high.

Dark chills down my dub mind
and I like it;
Let the archangel find it,
What it was when/ever she saw it.

I witnessed everything Mt. Eden whispered to my soul;
Don't keep those eyes closed.

Knew you, "when I first saw you,
I knew that you had a flame in your heart.
And under our blue skies,
Marble movie skies,
I found a home in your eyes,
We will never be apart."

Acid etched the daylight into my heart,
Closing the sun, I chose to see less of our scars;
We know I'm numb.

I kicked most of our bad habits but still
I don't really sleep,
Over-thinking all of these little things;
I spill some ink.

While people are talking, people are talking
while people are talking, people are talking,

Raise your head 'cause we're one ******* statement,
They say get real but instead we'll get away with it,
Let 'em talk 'cause we're dancing in this world alone,
World alone,
We're alone.

All of these voices and all of their noise,
's a mental thing you know,
They're studying escapism, I study The Door(s).
I stopped our cravings but I'm not alright.
Baby the Internet raised us
probably because people were jerks.

While people are talking, people are talking (but not me)
while people are talking, people are talking,

Raise your head 'cause we're one ******* statement,
They say get real but instead we'll get away with it,
Let 'em talk 'cause we're dancing in this world alone,
World alone,
On our own.

All the double-edged people in Skins,
They reflect our memories and that's when it gets real,
You're my best friend, and we're dancing in the world alone,
World alone,
Together/alone.

I know we've lost our family,
We're on a train, I'm wrecked with anxiety,
One day we'll go off the rails again,
One day they'll feel what you feel
(while people are talking, people are talking
While people are talking, people are talking),
What I feel;

While people are talking, people are talking
while people are talking, people are talking,

Raise your head 'cause we're one ******* statement,
They say get real but instead we'll get away with it,
Let 'em talk 'cause we're dancing in this world alone,
World alone,
Forlorn/our own.

All the double-edged people in Skins,
They reflect our memories and that's when it gets real,
You're my best friend, and we're dancing in the world alone,
World alone,
One reflection.

Where people are talking, people are talking
'cause people be talking, people be talking
while people are talking, people are talking
yeah people are talking, people are talking;

Been to the summit before,
Now baseline calls me forth
and I gotta ask for directions.

We might last 'til the end
of this one-night-fantasy.

For the first time in over a month
I felt something worth celebrating.

Sometimes you don't know what you're ignoring
until the sun goes.

"The gentle background roar of the unsleeping city filled the sodium-stained skies and I stood listening for the river's dark liquidic music in vain".

It struck me out of my daze,
I felt a twinge of emotion today. What now, navigator?

There's kings for drinking,
There's cups for smoking,
The dance-floor's for yoking,
Throw the doors open;
The chemical dimensions
beckon, and we gather
to answer their call.
We'll never be broken.

The backspace on my keyboard has been broken
for well over a year.
I drank beer, *** and orange.
Smoked hash spliff. Felt better about this wrongness

that surrounds my view of the world.
Desperately in need of some chemical respite,
Serious consideration given to antidepressants as
a way out of this and into fitness, all the viable options.

Ah, perhaps some poems should leave well alone, but
this is the truth
so bear with it. I don't feel like I choose to see what I see,
Nor think these gossamer thoughts.

I stood facing the wind
and felt like a teenager,

For the first time in years
I had felt something, again;

And with that it began to re-
-solve and I felt much better.

We are the most privileged
technologically advanced
recreational drug-users
in over five millennia,
"We are the music makers
and we are the dreamers of dreams";
This portal storm's temporal plasma stirs.

Cue Black Mesa's Lambda Core.

Dopamine addict itched for a serotonin fix,
Gazing into this sonder mirror,
The craving for opia hit.

Staring down mydriasis, shooting up
with the metaphysics. Consigned to it,
Being strung out on ∃xistence, whatever
depth you'd ascribe to it. Know that passion
is incandescent, embrace peace as effervescent;

Lost in the gaze of fall liberty,
Rainy daze in winter ecstasy.
Found in a maze of spring empathy,
Azure haze of summer vibrancy.

Mescalito tornado on desert sands,
Shroom typhoon on distant shores,
∀cid cyclone on the horizon,
Pharmahuasca maelstrom
drank the earth.

Ion chaser ate a hurricane
and thus The Empyrean was born.

Sometimes I feel I've abandoned much of myself,
I get a longing for self-expression; I just don't know
who I am, who I should be.

Among them I'm honored,
I feel we are unique and genuine.
It's long written, a kinship that bonds the group.
We passed thru the millennium together.

What do you feel you need:
Stability, resilience and focus
to see me through a new chapter of my life.

What do you hope to receive:
Re-connection and clarity,
To be comfortable, strong and confident in myself.

How will you integrate afterwards:
Through breathing, movement, sound.

By leaning into the fear we find our strength,
We reclaim our voice, and thus our story.

Notice the place in the body
where you feel the sensation,
Breath into this, feel its warmth and have self-compassion.

Trust in the world. Care for yourself. Be around people.
Accept you're not in control
but direct the flow of things.

That feeling like
you've been
meandering through
this whole life.

Know in yourself what ain't true,
Yet can't help but feel it
as black turns to blue.

The Warp rumbles
as the young gods stew,
The Necrontyr slumber
whilst the C'tan renew.

Why are my feelings so complicated?
Things should be simple.
Did I relapse last weekend?
I can feel the hunger, the drive
to consume substance; apotheogenesis.

4ll these wor1ds inside 3ach of u5,
4ll just wyrds in 7ime.

Ate some Syrian Rue after breakfast,
Peganum Harmala, its alkaloids act as
reversible inhibitors of monoamine oxidase [RIMA].
The principle active alkaloid is Harmine.
RIMAs prevent the break-down of
some neurotransmitters.
Consequently it interacts
with most drugs, and even foodstuffs rich in tryptophan.
An informed and responsible user
can safely manage their diet to minimize adverse effects.
I must say I enjoyed that day I could feel,
Though the day after had quite a few moments of doubt.
What's more, it was interesting to get higher
as a result of simply having a meal.
I am happy with the experience.

We did it younger than ever,
We discovered how to escape;
That sincere claim
of every next generation,
The undying theme never ageing.
Such is the way.

Just run! The adult-world's awaiting
and I won't yet be taken,
Lost in a maze of adolescence,
There I fear my gaze will ever-remain.

Skins touch the soul, in the depths of it
I know; Love Here.

Have we finally surpassed
that teenage haze
in which I was encased?
In which I was amazed.

I can never give up those memories,
Hence, I dutifully make these recordings.
This data keeps me dauntless, reinforcing my character.
I feel at ease to know it will remain here.
What is inexplicable now
perhaps I can decipher in the future.

Sometimes I feel so stricken by choice,
Yet constrained by an apathy
I wasn't born with.

In the quiet I keep watch under all the stars.

As they cradled each other
Rue and Jules turned the world 'round their scars.

Aren't I a fool

and a gentleman
and a scholar
and a fool
once again
'cause sure
there is only a
single chance that

I'm getting out

Would I sell someone to their destruction if they asked me?
Here lies a question that haunts me.
It's their choice really,
Have I any right to discriminate/impede?
The truth is I don't care about the money,
Memory takes precedence over accessories.
But what falls in-between;
That which is mind-altering.
How much would you pay to dream?

If I was to disgorge what I think
I'd say you are your own being,
But to hurt anyone is to forfeit your freedom.

We must be informed correctly and clearly of what we receive as responsibility.

The release caught me through a free-fall darkly.
Hanging on-air, falling off-world,
I can honestly say I didn't care anymore.

Gave up our minds
and cranked up the sound,
We got lost
in the times that were found:
Some of my fondest memories
were those surreal house-parties
when we delved into experimental ontology;
Playing with substance, when revelation
could strip fundamental to no sensation.

Somehow I'm still alive
and for that I can't apologize,
'Cause I don't know why.

I loved you since the first time,
What a fool I was, (thinking you could heal my all fears).
Do you even recall what we set out to find?
I know now that we weren't even near.

Loved you more cause you were my first score
"say you'll remember, oh baby, say you'll remember
oh baby, you-"
That day was made from the dark stuff but it lived in the light.

It ended on Sunday, such a comedown Monday
I got cut up in school, thunderous thoughts
over-thinking you. So I started dealing
and became enslaved to the game.

Loved you more cause you were my first score
"say you'll remember, oh baby, say you'll remember
oh baby, you-"
That day was a better place, we were together, off our face.

Loved you more cause you were my first score
"say you'll remember, oh baby, say you'll remember
oh baby, you-"
That day, it's lost to me. I'm lost when I think of it.

Why was I so enamored as a young person
by the world I had found in addiction
and everything it encompassed;

The search, the climb
and the view from up high.
It was as a balm to my longing,
A salve to that infinite homesickness.

Why was I so enchanted as a young adult
by the moments we experienced
as companions of substance;

A breeze caught my sails
and I escaped the doldrums
of mundane existence, I knew
"Today is Yesterday's Tomorrow"

The past is a flash,
The present is eternity.
I've been waging a war
on temporality.

Come, save me
from the thoughts that eat me.
That's all we are, after all,
Thoughts and a body.

Eight-day weeks aren't bleak
when there's another day to party.
Got nothing better to do with our time
than cook up the cure to lethargy.
It can't hurt to be well-versed
in the dark-arts of alchemy.
Black magic best-served
with a pinch of anarchy.

A flash of eternity disrupted temporality.
Do you know me? Essentially.

Ecstatic eyes dived into the foray,
They finally realized
today is tomorrow's yesterday.

The past is a flash,
The present is eternity.
Take some time to come get lost with me.

"I'm breaking my attachment to physical power and possessions,
because only through destroying myself
can I discover the greater power of my spirit."

"Self-improvement is *******.
Now self-destruction is the answer."

-Tyler Durdan

"We're young. We’re supposed to drink too much. We're supposed to have bad attitudes and **** each other's brains out. We were designed to party. We owe it to ourselves to party hard. We owe it to each other. This is it. This is our time. So a few of us will overdose, or go mental. Charles Darwin said you can't make an omelette without breaking a few eggs. That's what it's about - breaking eggs - by eggs, I mean, getting twatted on a cocktail of class As.

If you could see yourselves... We had it all. We have ****** up bigger and better than any generation that came before us. We were so beautiful..."

-Nathan

I want to communicate something
but all I have is this
emptiness
where there should be emotion, I
wish for so many things
and yet can't find
the devotion.

Why am I so scared of my empathy?