Expectation leads to realisation

You think you climbed the wall

To discover that your pond is very small

Not a big fish after all

there was once a fish his freedom it was shattered
caught by a local fisherman taken home and battered.

put in to a pan he began to fry.
it was very sad and what a way to die

now he his in heaven  and suffering no more
swimming once again along his heaven shore

There it lays,
my tear soaked
pillow case.

In clouds unseen
where they visit me
every night since thirteen

What am I to do
with no avenue to pursue
when they deny my inhibitions
and tell them they're forgiven?

I see what I can't change and
I can't change what I see

I want to want their vision
of tender, loving, harmony
but it feels like swallowing poison
treating my actions remorsefully.

I take each day
one at a time
unyielding to divulge
what comes to me as I lay
every night
on my tear soaked pillow case.