People expect me to be some sort of superhero. Wherever I go I can just turn around, pull off a mask and be a new person. There's no mask, this is my face. This is me. If the only 15 years of my life didn't make me what I am, then what's the definition of a person? Don't expect me to be like the typical person you see here. I've lived an atypical life, I AM an atypical person. That doesn't mean I can't be good, I can't be right, I can't be loving, I can't be amazing. I'm just not what you think I am. So don't expect me to do the same things, and have the same values and priorities in life. I'm Muslim. I'm Human. Allah is closer to me than I am to myself. I love, and Allah showers His love and the love of mankind upon me and I do not know if deserve it. I have things that are important to me and closest to my heart. Don't expect me to shed them off, just because of an illusional factor called time. This is me. I want to be me. Maybe I can change, but I love who I am. And I don't want my past self to be something distant and alien, to my future self. Don't think that your home will become mine, just because you force it upon me. I am home in Allah. I am home where I feel comfortable just being myself. Not having to change myself for people to understand me. There, I am home. I can't keep translating my personality and cutting off huge bits just for the sake of your understanding, for the rest of my life. Please, I beg of you, love me for who I am. If I don't know myself, then who does? I KNOW myself. At least, more than you do. Please don't say my comfort zone is a far fetched illusion. If it is, then my personality does not exist.
Don't expect me to be you. Love me for who I am.
14.10.2018
Been having a few issues with getting important ppl in my life to understand my motives and my next moves. But their inability to understand me stands in the way.
I’m facing a point in my life that I have to make decisions that will make or break my future. It affects the rest of my life. So it’s essential they understand and together we make the right decisions. I’m facing a stage in my life where what I do will ripple out forever, at least for me. I need to drop the right stone in the right place with just the right force.
I’m just not the kinda person people think I am and I’ve adapted pretty well but it’s just not me and I’m incapable of taking that finally step to be just like them because there’s this huge obstacle in between : my personality.
So facing this obstacle, I just wanna say, don’t expect me to be like that. And don’t hate me cuz I’m not like that. I love me and I want to be myself.
When you say what I call comfortable is ridiculous or far fetched or inconsiderate, just know that I’ve thought this through. I know. And there are sacrifices to be made. Don’t break me by saying I’m not who I am.