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Josh Oct 2018
What is my value?
To anyone and everyone,
How much would
Someone give, for me?

To have to me alive,
To have me in their
Position, or to just
Know me,

Know how I feel,
What I feel,
Know how I think,
What I think,

How much would
They give,
For my happiness,

How much would
They give,
For my satisfaction,

How much would
They give?

What would they give,
For me?

How much would,
You, give for me?

How much am I worth...
Josh Oct 2018
Waking up at 4am,
Thinking of you,
Laying awake in bed,
Thinking about the

Times we’d lay there,
Thought it would last,

But like all things it
Seems it had to end,
But did it?

I told you to leave but
Never said goodbye,
I said I wanted us to
Stop, but that was a lie,

I caused you pain
But it hurt me more
And now you have
Moved on, from me

But I’m still stuck in
The past,
I just, thought we
Would last...

I don’t know what to,
I don’t know what to,

I told you to just let go,
But I never did myself.
  Sep 2018 Josh
There’s something about writing
my feelings for you.

When it hurts,
the pen doesn’t stop.
With every stroke,
it gets darker
and poisonous.

Until it all gets ugly,
The tears smudged the ink.
Because no word,
no phrase
can ever substitute the pain.

All of them are wasted,
crumpled into the shred.
That’s what it’s like
thinking of you.

All of the hurting,
Time had made us
good enough
Not for each other
But for ourselves.

There were too many words
For us to say,
When all we needed
are four simple words.




the art of letting go
Josh Sep 2018
I’ve been thinking,
About life, about me
About, everything,

Things I do, things I say,
Things I think, how I feel,
How I act and how I speak,

And I realise how much
Of lie, I am, I live a lie,
Never being truly honest,

Because I can’t, and I can’t
Even say how sad I am or
How much, I hurt because

I can’t, and who’d care
And I’m scared, and if
I did, If I were to open
Up and say how I truly

Felt all of the time,
It would hurt to much,
It would be too hard,

I can’t get through,
It’s too hard to do,

I give up.
Sorry if this is a bit attention seeky, I’m not going to **** myself soon so if anyone worries, thank you but I’ll survive
Josh Sep 2018
Misfits, outcasts but it is
Them who we shall outlast,
Forgotten, we don’t fit in,
Some would call us pioneers,
Changing ways not doing
Things, proper, how maverick.

But no not I,
I choose to stray away
From the flock,

Not from a need to be special,
Or edgy but a need to just be,
Different, to not do these things,
They all do or at least not the
Same way in which they do,
An urge to rebel and repel,

I don’t want to be normal,
Never have, but nor do I wish
To be abnormal, just something,
different, you could call it

A unique style, or poor taste,
I have both yet neither of these,
I am me, not just an individual
As we all are, but independant,

See the world needs people like him and her,
But also people like me, you see
We deter,

From the norm, they don’t
Understand, no one truly does,
Going left when they go right,
It’s simply a buzz,

You question me while keep
Walking forward never looking
Back, always ahead,

Reassurance? I need of none,
You probably still don’t understand but for those
Who do my work here is done.
But it is not work, simply fun...
Being truly alternative and different is a rarity yet so easy to accomplish. If someone could be just like you in every way easily, then you are replaceable...more so than those who are truly different. Be different, encourage your weird wild side, don’t be afraid to stand out, stare in the face of adversity. Be loud, be bright, be quiet, be dark, be you. Lead but never be lead, listen and learn but don’t follow, be true and live your life to its fullest, don’t leave your memory’s hollow.
Josh Sep 2018
I’m lost, my location,
All these bad roads I’ve
Been shown,
Trying to lure me away
From home,

But you still found me,
You know how it feels,
Became someone who
I could talk to,

About my struggles,
I don’t always treat you how you,
Truly deserve to be,
But you don’t mind you forgive
And never judge me.
On my darkest days you guide
Me through,
Leading me in this wilderness,

You’re only just discovering it
Yourself, but take me
Along anyways, for I have a
Special place in your
Kind heart, as you do mine,

We long for home,
In search of a place
To call our own,
And along the,
Journey discover,
We’ve found home,
Within eachother.
Josh Sep 2018
Phobia: An extreme or irrational fear or aversion to something.

I fear it,
I get extreme worries,
Thinking about the
Possibility of it,

It’s scary,
Scares me, I hate it,
But it is not
Irrational, to me

Even though the possibility,
As of right now is very little,
I still fear it beyond belief,
My phobia: losing you.
Is it irrational to fear the loss of your everything?
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