A blue black cloud, all over me is written JOY
in the script of vapor, dense, moist and meaningful,
I am light, like a feather, the breeze is in love with me for that,
I love his gentle persuasion to waft, move about, explore..
and then--ravaged by wind my love changes direction.

I love freedom more than anything, but forgot limits, hover
now, I am no more attached to the green hills, they are jealous,
far above them am I, untouched by their vainglorious pride,
I am not hard-hearted, parched fields send shivers of lightning
break me in to thousand  smaller pieces, scatter around.

My love for this earth is kindled by the sights unfurling below
all the egrets, cormorants, storks and herons of great magnificence,
those kind hearted friends that fly with me often are in pain
like the farmers, there isn't enough water for anything.

A cloud is a thought, inspired by the love for mother earth
by the ocean I am gifted to the breeze, to tour around,
on many lands fell my shade, found life in all varieties,
now is the time to be kind at heart, melt, fall in torrents.

months came and months went
I still felt trapped inside this tent.
I couldn't breathe and the walls were caving in on me.
I was drowning in the memories of us, and nobody could see my cuts.
I tried to rise above but I kept sinking down.

so I gave up, and I'm sorry.
I'm sorry I couldn't stay, but I need to go away.

I miss being happy
I miss being in love
I miss smiling
I miss waking up and not wishing I hadn't  
and most importantly,
I miss being me

It's more than just constant worry,
It's fear.

The fear of the small things,
Did I leave the oven on?
Did I lock the door?
Do my socks match?

The fear of the big things,
Does he love me?
Am I annoying?
Is somebody following me?

The fear of seemingly impossible things,
What if somebody shoots up the school?
What if I die today from a meteor?
Are there robot overlords?

The fear of unfortunate possible things,
What if If I don't have exact change?
I don't know how to answer this question, what if the teacher calls on me?
I cant stop loving him, even though he probably doesn't know I exist

It is more than a constant worry,
It's fear.

I can fool anyone with the line "I'm fine" because no one cares to find the truth that lies behind,
I'm haunted with words in my mind that no one will hear because I'm the only one subscribed,
I'm alone in my own darkness that I've created with a spine twisted by a past that wasn't even mine,
I was told to be brave, to be strong, to be kind,
to live a life that was unreal because there's unlimited time,
but now the voices in my head
they're telling me to stop
they're warning me you were wrong and I should just give up.
I tell myself "I'm fine." but other problems arise
and the truth gets barricaded with bars of disguise--


I'm fine.

Why do you hate me,
I feel like I'm scarred.
I don't get what you're saying,
You make it so hard.
I don't know what you're thinking, but I always wonder,
How you're feeling the surface under.

If only we could speak like before,
At least one word or maybe more,
Just a common, "Hello",
But you won't, that I know.

Whatever I write you make it a vex,
It's not that difficult,
Why are you so complex?
This is boring, being anxious, annoyed and stressed,
Give me another chance,
I'm trying my best.

Are you scared of losing the ones you love.
Afraid of going up above.
But i wouldn't be shocked, or stunned,
If i turned your pages and there were none.

Okay, now this is a little extreme,
But I wish out ex-friendship was only a dream.
Why should I have to try, when all this is a lie,
I can't live this way,
No, I would rather die.

You want to treat this like a game?
Then let's play chess.
It's just like life, one big mess.
How could I think anything else,
When I always play it by myself.

Did you know, you're never there.
You don't know me,
And you don't care.

I miss the time when we were friends,
Or whatever you'd call it.
But to you it all depends,
On how well I treat you,
On how I speak,
On how I act,
It makes me weak.
How could I guess,
I'm so confused.
I've ruined everything, and you're amused.
Why is this funny?

There are those
Who you cry over
Tears stream down
When you know
That those you loved
Left or betrayed
And you cry because
You loved them
And because a part of you
Still does
Because they were perfect
And because you
Still want the old them
They have changed
But you cry for the future
That could have been

But now my eyes are dry
And it's not because
I go with out pain
You hurt me and fight me
But I don't cry
Because you don't deserve
My pain
And you definatly
Don't deserve my
Love

For someone once lost and all alone.
Beaten and broken, heart hardened as stone.

A surprising escape opened secret doors.
Wandering across untrodden floors.

A whole new realm of brilliant minds.
Letting go, leaving the past behind.

Connecting with souls like never before.
Plenty of new works to explore.

Unlocking passion, unknown to man.
Stumbled upon, was not the plan.

Locked in a world, where raw talents flow.
Like ink on paper, where will it go?

Where people accept what others will say.
Trying to take their pain away.

A place that has saved me much sorrow and fear.
And boosted my confidence when kind words were near.