Here's the irony: even if I dearly miss you, it is because of you that I'm not afraid of what the future brings. You give me strength to believe that it is still possible to move forward, that no matter how much the grief, I can still believe that someday it will turn into something beautiful, something that would bring a smile on our faces without the memory of the bitter ache. This is not a goodbye, but a thank you. Thank you for loving me, and for receiving my love in return. Thank you for saving me and bringing joy into my life.  Thank you for the photographs and memories I will cherish forever.  You are the very best part of me and my life is better for it. You might be gone but I will forever have you in my heart. It's your turn now to wait for me. Wait for me, okay? Because there will come a day where it is going to be my turn to come back home to you.

I love you.

when will the time come where the broken glass would be whole again?

just one last time, i want to see a glimpse of your gentle smile

shall we round up time in order for our love to have a second chance?

I love it whenever Cookie. . .

kneaded her cute paws on cushions. . .

slept on my bed. . .

slept near the TV. . .

slept on top of the furniture cabinet. . .

slept in between my legs. . .

gave us Norman, Zoe, Vincent and ****** (but he sadly left us so soon). . .

played with her kittens. . . and. . .

defended them whenever Buddy bullies them. . .

gave me gentle gazes. . .

gave me gentle meows. . .

looked at me with her big, innocent eyes. . .

played very energetically. . .

showed her the moments where sheʼs still a kitten at heart. . .

she comes whenever we call her. . .

she responds to calling her name. . .

was very affectionate. . .

melts my heart every time. . .

she rolled around whenever she was playful. . .

she told off Claudia sometimes. . .

comforted me without any effort. . .

I love her tri-colored coat, her beautiful innocent eyes, her cute face that I will dearly miss. I may have not shown you how much I love you, Cookie, but I will always remember you through your babies. I will protect them.

I love it whenever Oli. . .

knocked over things whenever he throwed a tantrum. . .

bit or scratch me gently when I irritate him. . .

whined when I hug him. . .

ignored me whenever I call him. . .

would give me a meow of warning before biting me. . .

followed me home the first time I saw him. . .

gave me that irritated gaze. . .

can be sweet when he want to be. . .

screams whenever he fights with some other cat. . .

doesnʼt want to fight other cats. . .

lightly bumps my hand or lean whenever I touch him. . .

slept beside me. . .

slept on top of the refrigerator. . .

doesnʼt care about pleasing me. . .

knew that I love him so much.

Oli knew how much I love him. I love the black spot on his lower lip, his orange eyes, his white and orange coat, the cute pattern of his front paws, his long orange tail, his innocent face, his gayness (****). I love every single detail about you, baby.

I never thought that you impregnating Pola was a blessing in disguise, because I didnʼt know that you would leave us so soon.

You might be gone, pero lahat kayong mga dumaan sa buhay ko ay may kanya-kanyang espesyal na lugar sa puso ko. Miss na miss ko na kayo. Sobra. You guys are perfect. You didnʼt deserve any of what happened to you. Iʼm sorry I couldnʼt protect you guys from this cruel world. One day, you will get the justice you deserve. And the same goes for all of the animals they abused. Hindi natutulog ang Diyos. They will get what they deserve.

October 15, 2019 - July 22, 2021
October 14, 2019 - July 22, 2021

i like to think that you're still out there,

happy and well,

even if it's just in a parallel universe,

with another version of me.

although he never showed it,

he was a selfless man,

he gave his life for the world, for the future

and i couldn't be more honored and proud

being in love with a great man like him

I whip my brush like a sword,
Splash the red ink like blood it can afford.
We are all born a blank canvas,
Might as well stare at the horrendous carcass.

It is when I start to run wild and free,
Cross the deepest, widest sea,
Just to find the things I seek,
And take it all until it leak.

So gather up and fix your gear,
For the ride is foggy and unclear.
You might not want to meet your fear,
It is only a matter of creation, my dear.