Am always lost for someone to hang with
Maybe because life taught me to handle it.

Miss my steps everyday on my stroll on the ladder
All I needed was a friend to bring me back into the race.
Making everything look like am always late.
I can't disappoint who am meant to be
Because of a nobody with negative energy.

Am passed the finish line because life taught me well.
Fake friends is a plague they learn to stab you well.

Struggling with the reality that everything will fall in place
Struggling with peace that I created even though I wasn't in place.

Struggling with a new habit that kept me afloat but draining all of me now
Struggling with how sentiments can change how people question me now.

Struggling with the friend that calls my phone just to check on my progress
Struggling with the replies lined up on my phone I really need to check the progress.

Struggling with dropping the ideas I believe  can have an impact on the future
Still struggling with the questions hope it doesn't become an habit on my future.

Protruding tummies enable to hide the excitement still feelings of betrayal fills the air
Tired of this early mistakes who might have taught that sour magic will still be in the air.

The world need more female empowerement we need the queens to grow and shine
Is covid-19 the reason we lost the little trust in ourselves and dimmed our shine.

The future will come in a minute holding on a little longer might need some extra strength
Don't succumb to this heavy business the future might look bleak but keep showing your found new strength.

Crying with all her might hoping someone would hear her cry

Crawling out of her sheets the nightmares would make her cry

She was strong and weak but she was showing us just one part

Life twinkling just like a glimpse that refuse to show once path

Her abuser on the corner lurking around like their is a prey in his path

Both eyes collide and that moment she realise the circle will repeat itself

Mouth closed and the mind turn but the eyes refuse to hold the pain

Tear drop shows the vulnerable loud silence which shows her pain

She has to channel her stronger side and speak to the world about her pain

Sinking back into reality as I step back leaning on a legacy that refuses to get old
Strange but ****** nothing beats how the little things play a huge part in what chooses to unfold.

Reminiscing on a faint moment that persist to leave rendering me helpless on the face of reality
Stern look that society seldom glance at because deep down everyone is facing their own scared reality.

Faded problems at least that was what I got as I gave a deep sigh sinking deep into this profound element
The sick view of my thinking chair would leave you wondering if you can outrun a single element.

Heart pounding still revealing the hidden wound that never cease to close in place.
Pushed around heading to a precise destination hoping the waves fix us in place.

Different mistakes floating onto the surface making us close our face in shame
Mind buggled heading to the law still trying very hard to cover up the little shame.

The journey looks beautiful when looked at from the finish line holding the ribbon with pain.
Letting nature fix the troubled waves is best if we are still willing to get rid of this single pain.

How do you spice things up when your mind is fully awake ready to sail any way
Do you live your life daily for the glits and glamour until it cease or fades away.

Understanding the reason for your existence is Paramount to how you live your life
Step by step illusion is a new lens to reflect back on yourself and change your view about life.

Each day is an opportunity to shape a new existence that we slowly created in our mind
But with all the pain and suffering who would think the pictures would appear clearly even in our mind.

Kicking off all the distractions finding its way trying to envelope the new me
Still holding to my deathbed mentality I wouldn't become sane until I was face to face with the new me.

How do you think the circle evolves and reaches each destination without a glitch
A fair story of how the snake lizard always gets its way without encountering a glitch.

Gesturing winds sounds a fair warning to the lousy four leg roach in a familiar way
Waiting for a strike makes it salivate exposing the purpose it came along the way.

A single cry and the roach is within grasp enjoying a journey of no return
The hungry predator is never full and you can be sure to meet it on your next turn.

Tapping my feet each day never minding the restrictions that shields my direction
Dancing to the melody in my head shaking my body in full joy hoping to find a new direction.

Unboxing each puzzle that stay stuck in my head trying to level the mystery in my head
A little bit of fresh air as I take deep breath trying to clear all the problems in my head.

Reminiscing on my past mistakes ticking out the lessons I learnt in regret
Finding my rhythm doesn't mean I won't stop grinding as I stare back at my old possibilities with no ounce of regret.

Learn to grow out of situations that life has a way of throwing right in front of you
A blurred line already shooting through nothing seems to be in place either way.

The temporary feel of pain having it's way would just show you towards a better you
As soon as the fate we learnt to have upon ourselves come out and begin to play.

Fighting and overcoming life predicaments is a mind game and we all have the key
So once pre planned moments start going sideways learn to check the good side.

A little bit of happiness is what we would shed through us to just make us free
A lot is going on when you look from a brighter perspective and look the other side.

Hoping to clear every obstacles blocking my way shielding who I am meant to become
My clear conscience already becoming more cloudy thinking about the obstacles I would overcome.

A little bit of shadow flickering right through me exaggerating what I have left to offer to the world
Words never seems to make more sense each time I hold my last draft doubting how  I see the world.

So I set out on the long lonely walk hoping this will be the last time I would prove myself
As soon as I take the first bold step I realise my dramatic entrance is the only way to become more of myself.

Hoping I achieve more than the ordinary man as I focus more on my daily progress
Life slowing me down with repeated predicaments tuning down my constant progress.

Believing in the power of never relenting as I hold on to the pain that never left
Side by side with my new approach picking things up from the same spot I had to neglect.

But as soon as my new found reality start appearing I start having a similar feeling yet again
The reason nothing seems to fall in place no wonder I am feeling helpless all over again.

Don't hate what you have been telling yourself because you woke up
Another journey is set in your course is time to face up.

The days pass by without ceasing even the night won't bulge to your pace
But the only hope of a better tomorrow is if you double your pace.

You don't want to be left behind when the whistle blows
Don't clinge to a past memory because you don't want to grow.

It's a new day to change your perception don't limit your thinking
Because if you are actually crossing over you need to change your thinking.

Staring at what seems like an unknown face
Trying to depict what looks like an unknown phrase
Checking my head aching it for an unknown place
Where I can settle and the words will flow freely
Am not just a cypher who writes words freely
Sometimes all I see and hear are only my words
Waiting on those  that will become my words
The pain behind the scribble is not just my words.

Already seeking out an old validation that nothing will go right eventually
Might have another panic attack as I head out pushing out the fear simultaneously.

Asking myself the same questions wondering who has a close answer
I might find what I am looking for eventually  as I get face to face with the real answer.

How we choose to view ourselves has a key influence on how far we progress
Never undermine the potentials that are boundless that enables us to make more progress.

Choosing how we end up eventually is totally based on how we plan yourself out
But why are you still holding on to the small man syndrome don't wait until I call you out.

Steady pushing the bad wagons in my life out making sure they stay out this time
Why will I endure all this disasters and still conquer and you think you can waste my time.

The only reason I choose myself everytime out of a million people isn't strange to me
Just imagine the stare I give out to people that claim they are closest to me.

I am bound to make mistakes don't hate on what I admit myself and claim you are perfect
Still on a lone road as I administer my success pill just to make me perfect.

A lot of stages in my life that I wouldn't change not even for a minute of regret
The isolated accident that I found myself in again I wouldn't change the life I regret.

How close can they be?
Is the reality the main reason, they let me be?

The way I am been stared at still keeps me from holding on to my new found existence
Always finding my way back in the midst of people who lurk around because of the mystery of my existence.

How come he is superficial and faint hearted?
On a closer look words like "egocentric" and accommodating fuels their hatred.

I still believe they are meant to be a close shave giving me the push I need
But I need to stop writing about them no wonder life crushes every challenges when I am in need.

Ever had some set of people gasping for breathe anything you are in sight?
A new victim of close admirers I really need to shade my energy anytime they are in sight.

The little talk that counts still makes people less aware.
Can't we go back to the way our gestures made people more aware.

A little "thank you" won't affect your ego but it can help to clear the tensions that come your way.
Why did we forget how the word "please" could change how people can affect our day.

Even the sound of politeness is lost in how we address ourselves this days.
When did society lose it's way even our kids have nothing to learn nowadays.

Back to the small talk who else can justify the structure that is lost in our ways
Too much of little talk already neglected maybe we can include it back in our ways.

Don't hate me am not who I used to be.
But life won't tell you what you used to be.

The world of karma is like a circle
Don't get it wrong it won't look like it's a circle.

But you ever throw a Stone up to the sky to see it's reaction
The fall would be rapid don't mind how it plays you it's reaction.

But the moment u realise how u can affect your situation
You now understand how the situations you find yourself can change your imagination.

But don't blame life it works with the law of universe
That whatever you throw up life would surely drag it down back into the universe.

Unsatisfied by the recent decisions made by those above them
So scared to talk or even voice out against those above them.

Sitting hungry in silence letting the dictator dictate their fate
Not minding how their life is on a pause so they could seal their fate.

Too much silence enveloping our mind even our fears is starting to stand out
Why do we keep grumbling when our voice could actually make us stand out.

The face of society isn't who we are but how we fight against what we want
The fate of the grumbling crowd I wouldn't have a chance to see if they get what they want.

Another life lost in the slum is nothing new to those who can relate
But the hidden mystery behind this new corpse left people more than they could relate.

Two slugs were pulled out while he was lieing behind his back has he lay  lifeless
Cold hands of death snatching another innocent life turning him lifeless.

Tired of saying this same stories I wouldn't be the one behind the camera next
Life in the slums isn't what you picture you never know who appears on the camera next.

Two slugs is a new slogan as soon as another body is seen on the floor fighting for his last breathe
As we secure what was left behind the little memories was just wondering about how he lost his breathe.

Regardless to say we all need hope to live a life we truly deserve
But taking a sneak peak outside I realise the smell of fear as I observe.

Not minding the unnecessary noise or the panicking crowd I try and focus
But in reality I am just like everyone else I really need to learn than I focus.

A new phase coming up regardless of whether we facing it or not
Our life is about to change after this long pause are you betting on it or not.

The mornings are becoming longer than expected I really need a new hobby
As soon as I check to see the light I realise it
Is still dark outside from the lobby.

The wake of a pure morning gesturing down the heavy heat
Africa is my mother land tell the foreigner not to mind the scorching heat.

Looking back to the soil how rich and blessed the people feel
But a mere touch of the soil would show you the pain the people feel.

Don't pry into their agony because the suffering can get much
Everyone in the midst of it all hoping and grinding to get much.

The paper is just a tip of what you are getting if you look deep down
But the pain and the triumph after the sweat will push you up and down.
The sound of hope makes men look up and down in triumph.

Beneath the rumble I could hear the loud screams of what lay deep down
Scampering down ready to save a life but all I have is layed down.

Tears dripping down my face as I see all lay to waste just like it never existed
I then realise how humanity cherish what they have until it stops to exist.

The rumble was once a building standing tall to accommodate all we cherished
But life had other plans as the rumble lay scattered until we had nothing to cherish.

Being alive is a gift we soon realise that when that is all we have left
Material things start to fade off then you realize you have nothing left.

A victim of my environment some would say as we lay another body to rest
But just beneath the rumble a rare talent is aching to come back from the rest.

Blunts passed around looking for who will pass this round and hope to get a clean paper
Sparks flying high paving a way to stardom making waves in chasing the benjamin paper.

Imagination is filled with too much dark reality that we still refuse to acknowledge
Coming from a different state of mind made growing up for me a race I had to acknowledge.

Nothing beats the race we refuse to handle ourselves running from the reality that present itself
Curled up with a familiar stranger smoking silently hoping a new lonely stoner will recognise himself

How do you describe that feeling, when your device keeps blowing up.
Deep down you have one eye glued to your goals, but society won't let you stay up.

The illusion that we need to satisfy all the energy, that comes our way is never enough.
Times are changing so get your priorities right, people tend to channel their pain, though you until you've  had enough.

The only thing shielding you from achieving a whole lot more, is how you spend time with yourself.
But a whole lot of people that don't understand this principle, creep up on you, when you have time for yourself.

Decision making time how would you achieve the impossible, when you are shielding your own growth
"A stitch in time saves nine" is very crucial so learn to stay foused on your growth.

Waking up realizing that known outcome will soon  present itself sooner
All road leads to a destination I wish I can conquer the problem sooner.

Another turnoil right within my grasp leaving the possibility out in the cold
So many reasons to hold on to my past ways but scary moments leave me out in the cold.

Ready to act on the information on ground planning out a new strategy
I am in love with my Silent enemies but nothing will make me fall for their new found strategy.

Steadily on a conscious pace aiming for the best view in the world
All I see is moving vehicles and people only when you place yourself in the middle of the world.

I am lost in the middle of the scenario i created In my head
On the look out for new adventures that I can put into writing from my head.

Moving the bricks and I slowly realize I am in the midst of my greatest treasure
My window view is the story of how I feel when I choose to embrace my best treasure.

Steady on the grind I would let the success make the loud noise
As soon as you see me running clear the path so I wouldn't make a loud noise.

On my road to success but the quiet mode activated I don't need an audience
Jotting down the ideas then making sure I pick the one to show the audience.

This late nights is taking a toll on me I really need to get my mind right
Heavy silence enveloping my mind as soon as I start to get it right.

Dosing off during the daytime even the long walks isn't possible anymore
But I am still working in silence I don't want my story to make the news anymore.

If I was a fruit would your first reaction be to devour every piece that I let you take
Would you choose me above anyone else or just look past and stretch to take.

Maybe my glowing skin would distract you and all do is fall endless in love and just gaze
Never minding what people say as you savour every piece of me not minding the hungry gaze.

Droplets of my remains litter the hungry floor, don't bother reaching out to me, if not I will be no more
Already thinking of biting a piece of me harder!!! than you did before, until you can have no more.

But the pictures of the smashed watermelon in my head chases the cravings before i even start to devour
More pictures already developing in my head as I hold my tongue and clamour

Don't judge the path I walked because of my past
The future isn't promised but I still learn to walk fast.
Casting out the possibilities but still hoping on what seems to come fast.

Different journey but a few to play the game with their hands *****
The paper we chasing don't mind if I look at you *****.

Crumbled notes all we have is the accumulated paper
Being a sinner is not just how I choose to find the paper

The vision of how a modern day poet is viewed
I can imagine you all bringing your pen out the view.

Don't be discouraged by the content of my messages don't be misinformed
Little bit of expression on my end I already sound like am misinformed.

Don't forget that I gave an interesting poem just now
Never relate with the new information I just acquired just now.

Back on the scribbling brick I really need a new desire
Modern day poet  I won't stop until I miss the desire.

Don't you think that life could go sideways
Until you realize you have another dimension to living anyways.

But you are afraid of entering a phase you know nothing about
The dark side won't look more like a fiction or a rollercoaster
It would be a phase you wonna cast away until look closer.

The side you are currently facing might be where you get closer with yourself
Don't look far the dark side is just a way to tap into your inner self
Don't flinch when the ideas start poping in because you might lose yourself
Relax and enjoy how embracing your inner self can bring light to yourself
The dark side is a reflection of who you are scared to look at when you see yourself.

Jogging through my mind i am already creating a new fear
Holding on to what goes through my mind I won't hold on to the fear
Not knowing what to do begs a question who gets the fear
But a new direction is on it's way I bet the next person won't lose his fears
Imagining certain outcomes in my head I believe it's helping to conquer my fears
Need to break down my fears I really need to change what I perceive.
But the key to overcoming fear has not spilled itself out until I change what I perceive.

The period when everyone is advised to quench their taste the best way
The lieing time when people walk around hoping you get back on the right way.
The undecisive period you have to choose between society and you thinking the right way.

Everytime the ideas start trolling in you advise yourself to go to sleep
Anxious readers hoping on a drop but you let the ideas go to sleep.

Believing that a new one is underway so you clear your head of the old ones
The fallow period happens once in a while I can imagine their reaction when they listen to the new ones.

What exactly are you fighting for in your life I keep asking
Because the pain that you are yearning for is asking.

The turn you are afraid to take is already been plied by another
Don't let the defeat in your head make you envy another.

The fight is against you when you stare at the mirror you can understand
Getting back up is like a jolly ride you only enjoy it when you board it
The world deserves a better fighter you won't know until you become it.

On my journey to stardom I came across so many people that changed my perception
Each time I was on the verge of giving up they came along and made me see a new perception.

So I am glowing because my thoughts are actually different from the way they used to be
I realised the people in my corner are meant to push me more than I used to be.

So the focus is slowly shifting from who we were before to a fresh new beginning
As soon as I look up to the sky I see angels in disguise pointing me towards a new beginning.

My thinking is slowly becoming different as I check behind my shoulders each time to secure myself
Rarely never on the influence so all I think about is the reality that I can only see by myself.

Mind clouded but in reality nothing seems to make sense anymore as I dodge every arrow
But looking feeble and weak each time I am baked make you wish you had a wheelbarrow.

People ask me why am I thoughts so different like I am seeing a new reality
The following was what ensured when a paranoid thinker showed them a new reality.

Same spot
Still stuck in the same spot that I was seen the last time you lent an helping hand
I am tired of leaning on people as soon as my problems start to unfold like I don't have the helping hand.

I realise my own problems are there for a reason to push me towards what I am looking out for
So once the mind changes the focus should basically shift from what we have to what we set out for.

But I am back on the same spot I lost the power that pushed me beyond limits
How do I recover from staying stuck all my life I  need to find how to exceed my limits.

So I scamper having a new energy in play as I focus on how to improve on myself
Not knowing how the outcome will play out
But still I want to keep improving on myself.

The city that growls in laughter and merriment suddenly becomes silent
A ghost town is what it is called now the people slowly becoming silent.

Gidi state of mind is what my city is called but the hustle stay silent nothing is in sight
A pandemic is what we heard was coming but the real suffering is in sight.

Tired of living so many suicide thoughts already enveloping the mind of a believer
Another day another drama I won't lie the pain can be felt by a true believer.

The silent city was once loud nothing could shake what we believe in
But persistence is key I choose to imagine a new reality we all believe in.

What would you gamble for your own very life to continue to exist
Is it the lack of joy you clearly fail to observe even as you continue to exist.

Or the conviction that things won't allign until you stop wishing
A lone attitude about what could possibly go wrong still wishing.

A nice way to speak more to your self but it won't create any result
Onlookers already judgmental some even gave you a fail score as a result.

A safe prediction won't fully be in place if you don't stop wishing and act now.

A new discovery as I draft this last words that I am hoping on deleting once I am done
I really need to make a stand as I choose to listen to the whispers as soon as I am done.

The pages lay blank but the ideas are filled with a lot to fill a book to the brim
On another quest as soon as my Listeners realise I just wasted their time in exchange for a trim.

A lot of blank pages on my notes making me doubt myself anytime I hold my pen to pass down the knowledge
The only reason that keeps me from relenting or stopping is that I can't seem to hold on to the knowledge.

Walking on the sidewalk hoping someone would push me out
You don't get what you don't deserve says the man speeding out.

Always pushing myself more everyday hoping I won't break out
But the sidewalks isn't meant for me even when the road is faded out.

The feeling of freedom owning everything I possess would push my strength out
But the sidewalks clinged to my toes hoping I don't get out.

Following the crowd would only get you drenched out
But when you focus on the road you understand you can break out.

The road isn't just the focus but the sidewalks is the barrier
Don't settle for what u have don't make your thinking a barrier.

Sensing the huge wall built behind the mind of who is in pain
The only solution offered will be a therapy as quiet as the one in pain.

Slowly using words to pick out the emotions stored inside the hidden mind
Another quick therapy I don't know how to fix the depressed mind.

On a new discovery on how silence can change the way people perceive themselves
Back to the Quiet therapy for those who are tired of running away from themselves.

Always painting a new picture about how the future will look so fancy
Promises flying here and there still hopeful I would live a life so fancy.

Then the reality struck like a thief in the night I had to leave with no shirts on
Tears finding it's way down my cheeks as I stare at the life I would venture on.

The life I imagined is only few feets away but the reach is never within my grasp
Waiting for the phone call that would just make my reality come within my grasp.

Then a silent voice whispered into my confused head letting me know what I faced
No golden ticket was printed or expected you have to gear towards the reality you faced.

Who else has seen the men in Black
Heart and face painted like they are in charge.

We all know who bark the orders out from the back
But don't blame the system blame the man in Black

I want a reality where you will see a all white system
Where men would usher you into their car no matter the crimes committed

But all I see is killings and suffering for my people
I am not an activist I am just learning to speak for my people.

Don't just be the change learn to stand for your people
Men in black in this picture will only do more harm than good to my people

Toiling day and night you can feel the pain beneath my feet
Joyfully sometimes but the continuous stares make my check beneath my feet.

Wires surrounding me I didn't realize I was building myself a cage
Hard to break open I didn't realise I would need a key for my cage.

Brain washed into believing I had a job but deep down I was wasting away
Even my youthfulness that I possessed had changed and the old face is staring my way.

I can't turn back the hands of time as I sat down mending my cage
Blood dripping down my wrist as I still realise I am stucked in a cage.

A short letter to my younger self never belief everything you think
Following the crowd made me believe I was building a future until I had nothing to think.

Every man is a threat to those ladies who walk by themselves alone in the night
Every man is a threat to those who dress like the material is not enough.

Every man is a threat to those ladies that just left a previous heartbreak
Every man is a threat  to a lady that was molested all her life.

Every man is a threat to his sister's because they also see other men as threat
Every man is a threat to himself if he can't control his ****** urge
Every man is still a threat considering the fact men are super to those around them.

Drowning myself in another bottle strictly for the pain
Tired of staring at the droplets hoping to quench the pain.

Another shot for my misery I totally need to drench my pain
Not relenting I really think I need another shot for the pain
But I am sure the broken bottles won't solve the pain.

But I am still draining myself soul into opening this new bottle
A bottle for the pain I really need to stop holding all this bottles.