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 Jun 2020 Katelyn Billat
Sabika
Truth is still water,
a gentle whisper,
a soft touch.
Easy to ignore
yet
persistent
consistent.
Morning frost
lays crystal sheets,
steaming in
the early heat.

Autumn breathing
steep release,
surrendering
last leafy green;
final piece
of creaking tree
won't let go
so easily.

Achieved by
a tease of
frigid degrees,
reason's razor
sharp, now cleaves
between stability
besieged by treason
and terminal
velocity agreed,
competing speed
descending free;
earthen dirt
eagerly pleas
and receives;
turbulently earning
unpredictability,
it careens.

A final sigh,
falling relief,
I hold my breath,
freeze expectantly;
winter seized
as seasons leave
seed buried
somewhere
six feet deep
beneath dry bones
and brittle debris,
lost in all
of eden's weeds,
covered in
a snowflake sea,
icy geometry impedes.

Heart, a beat,
syllable speaks,
rhythm repeats
infrequently;
silence broken
for a moment,
it meekly greets
and peaks,
exhausting extreme
expediently;
though gravity
its greedy thief,
time denies
my soul to keep;
not dying yet
in faded defeat,
mortality has
still not ceased;
just enough
life left to lead.

Still hope to be
and blessedly believe-
a flame to flicker
in the breeze
when you need
the light to carve
through dark to see,
if only ever our meeting
but fleeting and
happening briefly.

Dark circles
and a ******
of crows' feet creased,
show me deprived
of sleep, fatigued
on the eve of
dreams, leaping;
as the sun sets
in the west weeping,
reflects again,
blinding iris
rising east,
horizon breached
again eventually;
coronary arteries
won't concede
until this vessel
bleeds empty.
EDIT: I might be expressive but I'm not a very prideful person (probably to a fault) but I'm especially happy with how this one turned out (honestly I would even say I'm really proud). I can never tell if the rhyme/structure is too distracting for people because I read over it so much myself, but I'm really happy with it just for me.

EDIT 2: Sorry, I'm gonna use a sun, promise it's not vanity, my stuff just doesn't get much visibility on here (not that I care about my monkey brain hitting the dopamine button with internet points, it's just nice to be heard, otherwise why write, right?)...

I know it sounds weird but I feel like the voice I write with comes from outside of myself, like I'm compelled to say what comes out without consciously thinking about it so much... the method I use to write is unconventional... I'll start out with a word or turn of phrase in mind knowing what I want to express or show with the poem, then I'll find all the rhymes I can using words that generally fit, then I shape them into what I want to say.

I definitely don't believe 'it's my calling' or anything supernatural/religious, but it feels like it's the closest thing to channeling/tapping into some sort of spiritual essence/communion (even though I can't logically allow myself to believe in any sort of literal divine energy, that's just the closest I can equate)... and it feels like i write for the same reason the birds sing and the grass is green 🤷‍♂️ I know to anyone else it's just poetry (and any art is subjective, who cares about poetry in 2020?! 😆), I could never delude myself into thinking it's any more than it is even on a personal level (my mother is schizoafffective  based around religious delusions that developed from a personality disorder and it's genetic, ill likely always have particular barriers against it myself, unfortunately), nor is it any sort of mania... it's just certainly nice having that sort of outlet (I would even argue necessary to a degree) even if it doesn't amount to much.
I wouldn't get your love anymore
Babe, just smile at me one last time
I can't stop my tears from falling down
Just turn your eyes back to me one last time!

I don't want you to back to me
but don't get me wrong,
I don't want you to be next to me
Just listen to my song.
I don't want anything anymore
Just talk to me one last time!

I wouldn't see you at my door
at full moon night
You can go on your own way
I have no more fight
left in me, I know
I know I have no right anymore!

I have nothing to say
You do not need to stay
Do not need to stay close to me
My heart is broken but I can see
You're dreaming without me!

Do you have a heart or not
Do you have love for me or not
If you stay apart from me
Still then, have a good time,
Have a good time all the time.
And... I am not drunk at all, baby…
I am not drunk,
Don't get me wrong, baby…
Don't get me wrong!
And I wouldn't get mad at you anymore.
 Apr 2020 Katelyn Billat
misha
your name is
forbidden in
my mouth
or in my heart
because when
i think about
you;

i'll cry a little more,
hurt a little stronger
love a little softer
because you no longer
make me feel sober

i'm drunk on the
memory of you
if only i could chase you with pizza but shots don't work like that
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