I love the way you look at me when the worlds quiet and our eyes meet,
or when you slowly tuck my hair away as your graze my cheek
I've heard you whisper to me when you think I'm asleep, saying everything you won't admit.
Kissing me with affection, not just cause of attraction....
I feel it in your lips, your need for me, but you'll only admit it when I'm asleep.

Years ago
We stayed up till
3 am talking,
And today
I don’t even know
How to say hi,

I’m so tired, exhausted in fact.
Tired of waiting.
Tired of feeling.
Tired of believing.

I wish I could sleep through it all.
Dream through the hurt.
Dream through the time.
Dream through the numbness.

But I can’t sleep.
Even if I could, I’d still be tired of living.

today my heart is aching,
ugly beats resonating from its chest.
friends are all fcking traitors,
masquerading empathy with ignorance.

take your stpid advice somewhere else,
I respect my shattered pride way too much
to care about your so-called "distress".

Where have you been
all the time
in
MY
mess?

© fey (23/02/20)