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i. the curly, green-haired
leo with the cry-baby tattoo
on her left calf; fish net stockings and
loud guitar playing and
menthol cigarettes. driving through
the park at 9 pm, ***** shots,
the white house with the a-frame roof,
hugs that made your heart feel as warm
as she did

crying as i left my room again to be
intertwined with a girl who did not love me, but i wanted to;
months pass, lonely car rides with
one-sided conversations and
seven years gone,
quiet disconnection
that made you feel as cold
as i did

ii. brown eyes, brown skin,
round glasses and chicago streetlights.
holding each other close on the subway
lakehouse parties in the beginning of spring and
pisces season and tarot readings and
soft kisses on the train.
holding hands at the aquarium,
sweet poetry and calm and
a sense of oneness that made you feel

hurt for the third time
a panic, a loss
i held their heart in my hands and
let it fall
i still carry the guilt on my fingertips

iii. short hair. freckled cheeks, i
fell in love with the way the skin
crinkled around her eyes when she smiled.
an apartment, a home built
around our lips touching
wrapped in blankets on the couch,
dense smoke and her hand on my leg while she
drove. chinese food and
waking up against her chest and
laughing so hard
my ribs hurt

crashing. her anger withering away my
heartstrings; pain and
crying alone in the bathtub
moving away
drunk tears on the interstate
punching my thighs
in place of the way her
words made
me hurt
feeling extra lonely these days. they come and go.
At times - the mystics eat the stars
and burst like supernovas. Becoming
wisdom itself. At times - the poets find
love and forget about poetry. At times,
the philosopher falls into death, begins
to calm their running thoughts and rest.
At times, we have to let them. Life is
only worth living, when one does live.
So he said to me one night
Submissive is not what's right
He said to me one day
You've to command and make your way
You cannot be quiet
You cant be a riot
You have to be you
And not let destroy'it

He calls me his friend
Say, when will this end?
He says he don't care
It goes beyond repair

He says I mean nothing
Without the slightest grieve
"You are my closest"
Oh, I wouldn't like to believe

But I've known better
And not made up a pile
Fed it to the skies
Never failed to smile

I've grown as a human
I've grown as a friend
He's been a pillar
The crave will never end

He's helped me in ways
Helped find my forte
He's helped me mature
Never enough to sway

But now that he's changed
I'm hit by numbing rain
Now that all's deranged
Major bouts will reign.
Made me good, and became bad.
On nights like these
when the rain is pouring hard and the thunder is screaming and howling
I remember you.
I can't almost contain myself from reaching out again
But then I do
I find the will in myself to contain
I am an incandescent light
I am untouchable by rain
the wind
and the moon
I am me
most importantly
I am free
I live in California and it's currently 1:04 in the morning and its raining and thundering like crazy.
There she sits, with her back to the sun.
Her hair seems as black as the devils soul.
If he ever owned one, I’d imagine.
I wonder what she scribbles of today.

Memories, stupid ******* memories.
Boxes of them.
Labeled & neatly shoved to the ceiling.
I’m left with a storage unit receipt and an empty bed.    

Puzzling how one can seem so beautiful.
Yet so utterly disgusting inside.

What has our world failed to offer?
You seem to be breathing & writing this,
Aren’t you darling?

It’s ok to be sad.
It’s ok to feel pain, to be angered.
To be consumed by hate.
Drenched with rage and bitterness.
Doused with mania.

I hope it haunts you.
I hope you pay every-day.
With everyone.
With everything.
With every interaction.
I hope it hits you.
I hope it hits you when you’re starving.
I hope you feel sick.

You don’t deserve the substance that leaks from this pen.
But here it is.
So tell me.
Enlighten me.
How do you feel now?
Knowing that I no longer am capable of sleeping at night.
Brooke Constantino
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