When I wrote you this, I was in a really bad place
   do you remember?

My faith is practically dead right now, future me
   do you remember?

You're missing the woman you love that you lost
   do you remember?

She's that sparkle of gold stuck in your soul
   do you remember?

Or how strained things are between Kayla and you
   do you remember?

Remember that night you wanted to end it all?
   do you remember?

Have you come to terms with your friend's suicide, yet?
   do you remember?

You're going to be a warrior someday... I have to endure
   do you remember?

Has anyone wanted your love, your passion?
   do you remember?

I hope you're married by the time I read this again...
   do you remember?

Maybe you'll still be where I am now, stuck in love
   do you remember?

Just know it was worth it, loving her. Even though she's lost...
   *do you remember?

do your eyes still shine
like two stars in the sky?
do they still close
every time you smile?
what song is your soul singing?
what blooms grow in your garden?
are you found?
or are you still lost?
if you are, know
i'll always wait for you.

Future Me...
I see you happy
I see you healthy
I see you striving
I see you smiling

There is
Less pain in your eyes
Less anguish in your cries

No longer are you afraid to always say what's on your mind
no longer do you need perfection for validation
you know your value to its full extent

Future me,
I see you free
Free of worry, stress, anxiety

Future me, you are a Phoenix, risen from the ashes, new and refreshed

I know you will be alive and in love
like a child for the first time.
You will chase and daydream
and trace their name on fogged over windows
and even though you're older,
you'll be none the wiser
and just as dazed and clueless
as I am now.

With each falling key
the problems become more yours
and you become more me.
I paid the debts of the past
with interest,
but those of now
Are yours somehow...
(I'm sorry to hand you this mess btw).

So your whole inheritence
will have to be experience
And it's not going to be perfect
And you're going to wish I could read
the rant of a manifesto you write to me.
But that won't happen.
I'll be history

Because with each falling key
the problem becomes more yours
and you become more me
I presently lose agency
that's the reality
Of time.

I fixed all I could with mine.
Do what you can with yours.