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feeling it
cornrows blasted by tulmoultous dust storms engulfing the plains
gunshot wounds to the hand
a teenager and his dad's cockfight
building split by the demolition team

can't really put it into words

my enveloping ambitions kick the family chair away from this hanged man's goal

i'll change

and finally I will be strong
 Aug 2015 Jellyfish
Ashley Singh
The voices inside my head are taking over.
These u-u-uncontrollable quirks I have.
My eyes twitch as many times as a heart beats after doing a triathlon.
In my head of runs a marathon of thoughts that don't belong,
things I can't do because they're wrong.
Within my blood stream flows 1.26 grams of dopamine given to me by doctors who don't know how to fix my situation,
only mix prescriptions to intensify vexation. Pharmacists eyeball me fearingly because I appear to be nothing but someone with chemicals wandering around into the little bit of a brain I have left.
Serotonin to regulate my mood, appetite, and sleep but I still only wish for all of this to be nothing but a dream.
All of this making my intestines mutilate, slowly dying inside as if I had Irritable Bowel Syndrome. Otherwise known as I.B.S. but I know for a fact that this is all just a bunch of B.S.
My enterochromaffin cells may just burst, I am often told.
If only I could tell what was real from what was fake.
For I also have A.D.H. - whoa! What's that?!
Sorry, where was I?
Oh. Tourettes Syndrome.
I guess I just twitch it off.
Maybe these are all figures of my imagination from the hallucinogens.
Who knows?
After all, I am a schizophrenic.
Any constructive criticism, guys Please feel free to say. By the way, I'm not a schizophrenic or any of the above, these were just some thoughts roaming my mind.
every letter in my poems
has been carved from the contents inside my heart
with every dancing lines and singing words
exposed sorrows
every lyrics portrayed loneliness
akin to the approaching rain
rain that has been hiding from the sky
that will come out when the sky cannot hold the weight anymore
yes
this is just a piece of paper that i use
to be written with my bleeding pen and make the blood as an ink
blood that came from my heart
i wish you will know that you are the reason
why i write these ****** letters
you are the reason why these poems has been crying
you are the reason why there are teardrops on my poems
teardrops that i use to erase this loneliness
but i didn't expect that these papers will be broken
to the point that you cannot see the line anymore
the line that says
"i love you"

©IGMS
but what would be the reason that you will see
there is already an owner of your heart
i'm hoping that this loneliness will fade through time
and i will make a new poem
and you are not the reason anymore
why my poems was crying
not with loneliness
but my poem will cry
because of
joy
If she saw the world
through rose colored glasses,
I saw the world as a raindrop
falling from a storm cloud.
I was ready to give up,
But then she found me
I was ready to let my demons possess me
But then she found me
I spent my days surrounded by **** smoke and monsters
But then she found me
She guided me out of the darkness.
She illuminated a cobblestone path to happiness
That was paved with my mistakes and broken bones.
I tried my best to hold her hand
Without cutting hers with my fractured nails.
She cleaned the blood from my fingertips
And wiped away the tears
That felt so heavy.
She gave me a place to rest when my legs couldn't carry on any further.
She stitched my wounds closed.
The places in me that were empty, she filled with love.
I owe her my life, but instead,
I'll give her my heart.
 Aug 2015 Jellyfish
Wednesday
He was Daniel Kingery to the police.

Daniel Overstreet to his friends.

He was Dollar Dan on the streets.

He was Daniel,
he was wet rough kisses and anger and lust to me.

He found me one day,
18 years to his 37,
he found me when i was still a question mark trying to bleed red.
From behind a lens pointed at my naked flesh
he became a man of mystery,
he became the object of my desires.

I was a young, naive girl who got caught up in
how his pockets were always full- he flaunted it.
The flowers and the exotic dinners and the alcohol and the touch...
oh god, the way we fell into bed,
onto chairs,
into walls.

Then i fell in love on a broken sidewalk.

I was blind to the empty shadows in his eyes,
to the lines he had recited,
to the webs on his face.

I made a god out of a sociopath and i called him "love".

I was his ******, his baby blue.

I became wild under his touch,
manic when he gave me his attention,
suicidal at his leaving.

I was a flower that once was his favorite,
but he left me on the windowsill at a slow, burning wilt
and forgot to water me most days.

Why water a flower when you could have a garden?

Have you ever hated what you loved
until even their existence ate at you?

I have.
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