our conversations are shorter.
the excuses piling up,
intrigue slowly fading.
the scheduled hook ups
that never come to pass.
our busy life
a constant scurry
past each other.
have we shared too much
nothing left to discover
the distance in your voice
my lack of emotion
I refuse to hold on
while you letting go.
farewell luv,
I'm letting go too then

I choose to be inhumane
undressed the layers of emotions
that occupied my heart
suffocating me
I need to breath
I choose not to care
allowing my mind to wander
beyond a single feeling
while others dwell blindly
in a perpetual repressive state
I observe beauty with a cold mind
destroy without hate
save without love
remain silent in a chaotic world

We are similar. You and I.
We are layers of secrets
Chaotic intertwined emotions
A thousand thoughts colliding at once
We are lost within ourselves
I know what we are
I also know what we are not
Similar but not compatible

yesterday you said tomorrow
tomorrow I'll do this,
tomorrow I'll start that
how many tomorrows left in your box?
on your last tomorrow you'll wake up
with a box full of yesterdays

everyone has a story.
some, beautifully written.
others with torn pages and blotched ink.
you read, absorb, comprehend.
you learn
the fears and hopes and well hidden pain
the mountain of anger and regrets
the beautiful smiles masking lonely hearts.
after awhile you realise
that empathy,
in its cold uncomfortableness,
hurts if you give too much.
still you grow,
strong enough to love the world
yet empty enough to dine with its demons.

You boast about your life
With empty words that are not your own
As if each line memorised
from a well written script
A beautiful facade

Your arrogant demeanor and harsh words
A disguise you portray to the world
to make them believe you are in control
What a beautiful lie

I want you to know that I see you
Past the fakes smiles
and the sadness in your eyes
Through the cracks of your facetious wall
Amid the imperfections of your soul

I see the warmth in your heart
Gentle gestures of appreciation
I listen when you look at me
eyes filled with warmth

I allow you in my life
as I hope one day
everyone else will see you
The way I do

I find solace in writing but at present
the tide is too strong, waves too rough
to construe the ocean of despair
I find myself in from saying goodbye to you
this storm drifts me further out to sea
Once the wind has calmed, hopefully soon,
I will find my way to the shore and back to you