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Laurel Leaves Sep 2017
I'm not the way home reminds me
I waft through the world obtaining the ideals
Of unanimous prophecies

Spelling it as if it is so
He turns towards me and hands me the fine tip of a needle
open arms
Wide
Swings the words through catalytic loops

Soulmate
Forever
He says
Till the final throws of life come through my eyes
I wont breathe still youre mine

But I'm motionless
I freeze as the cracks take their form
The natural progression of ice melting
It signifies nothing
Nodding as the moonlight
Devours
I sit still for hours
Cigarette after cigarette
The thick chews of ginger candy
Wrappers clothing me

I'm the skin
Holding our bodies as they morph into one
As the paint fumes poison us
Rats tickling the walls

We lie
To ourselves
Above the sheets on the bed
I tell him I want to see the world
He perks
confused
"Aren't I your world?"
When I was 17 and I didnt know any better.
Laurel Leaves Sep 2017
I'm captured
Captivated
The dimly lit room holds us
Locks the outside world to our own
Neuroses

We lick the faint fragile moments of
Tender
He's with another
He doesn't hold her body
Like he held mine
He looks away while she squirms
Giggles
Claws

He sits at the edge of the bed
Back toward her torso
While I lay
Legs spread
Waiting for the daylight to
Wake up the realism
The ideology
Memories of why you refuse
To exist for me

Why our bodies seem to
Slip into the same glazed over rhythmic patterns

absorbed
Stumbling
My own lips pining for
A mind of their own
A mind free of how it felt to be
Eaten alive
Stashed aside

An independent ignorance
of your design.
Laurel Leaves Sep 2017
He licks me like I'm fragile.
Like I'm so unique, so delicate, so irreplaceable, that one false move and I could be gone forever.


He leaves prints on my skin and comes back to retrace them the next time we lie in bed together.
Surprised to see that his fingerprints existed on me hours before.
The first time I sat on top of him and wrapped my legs around his waist,
I heard seagulls in the distance.

I felt the last traces of sunlight fall behind the hills and I smelt the warm river water,
the smells of the earth kept me grounded,
placed me closer to the moment with him.
My body fell,
the way his skin seemed to trace mine so perfectly.
I didn't have to escape.
I could shoot my eyes open and watch the scenes of the empty beach
while I felt him push deeper inside me,
felt his teeth sink into mine,
felt his fingers curl
around the places I needed him to touch.
I inhale the moments where he keeps his eyes on mine,
where he says my name,
where his hands slowly slip my pants off.

I gulp them up and swallow them whole,
doing everything in my power to absorb the time I have.

The time he is here,
he is present
and he can't resist me.

I feel him in scenes,
I hold my breath waiting for the plot to change on me
and I kiss him in the spaces that smell close to home.

I wait until the morning sunlight slips in through my window,
the red sun illuminates the dashboard, his hand travels to my thighs
and I whisper what I want to say,
what I shouldn't say.
Laurel Leaves Sep 2017
When she knocks on my door
Does she mean it?


With my own volition I speak
Cowardly
I take the approach to preach.
Laurel Leaves Aug 2017
Could have been anyone
Engulfed
The page tears and it's the way
He describes how I hold
Onto every passing moment like
I'm suffocating the life out of them

Could have been anyone
I sharpened my nails to the summer nights
I promised I'd spend forgetting him
Not falling

Loving every passing body
Except my own

Must have been the way he looked through me
Like he understood
The seconds after a casualty
A crusade of
Life when all you have left
Is the smell of roses
Right after they bloom
And naked bodies
Wrapped around eachother in a
Musty hotel room.
Laurel Leaves Aug 2017
curled over the table
I pull on the edges

his body always sat poised when he knew he was right

the way Whiskey used to spill down the sides of my lips
While they curled into a smile I did not recognize

His lips lay flat, a line parallel to the next
They don't move,
They don't hint
Or quiver

I feel the way the oceans rocks my body
The way the waves seem to control my hips when I can't even smell
The maritime air

I move out of memory
Out of nostalgia
Above him
Beside him
Keeping my eyes tightly shut
I follow a rhythm
As he pulls
Grips
Claws
I remain

Above water
Laurel Leaves Aug 2017
I sit nodding while the sweat drips
Sliding down my spine
Tracing the marks he left
The night before

Singing alongside
Drinking the smoke from the
Orange air
Toes curling
While the AC burns hot
I don't sleep
I don't blink

I live to feel
How it passes through me
How weightless my abdomen becomes
When the world no longer watches me
When he moves his hands
Farther away from the tips
I breathe
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