His "I love you" came swiftly.
Like the monsoon pouring down on a leaky roof
Those three words broke through my defences.
At first they were an ambrosia;
They sustained my life and our relationship.
At least for a short time.

Then "I love you" became an excuse;
For absences, and purpose-filled accidents.
And I ignored the warning signs, the flashing lights.
I pretended like "I love you" was enough...

...But it wasn't.
His "I love you"s were like band-aids on bullet wounds;
Like using play dough to fix cracks in concrete walls.
But I rationed our good memories,
I held on as tight as I could to our love
And watched as it slipped through my fingers.

His "I love you"s became poison,
That seeped deep into my bones,
And turned blue skies grey,
And turned light into darkness,
And slowly killed whatever semblance of love
I fooled myself into thinking we had left.

I miss you
And you aren’t even gone yet
From experience
I know how this will end

One day you will find someone new
Meet someone funnier; prettier
You’ll slowly slip away
All while denying anything is wrong

When you look into her eyes
You will see a future
When you look in my eyes
You see lust and desire

There is no future for us here
so why do I let myself fall in love anyway?

Crushed flowers are beautiful,
dried, pressed
not useful but certainly nice to look at
My sister affectionately called me a 'delicate little flower' one of the many times you made me break down, crushed from false accusation
until i eventually dried up
pressed myself until the pain no longer hurt.
I wondered why i had become such a fragile thing
shouldn't heartbreak build you up, a learning experience rather than reducing you to a few petals and a stem.
i feel more like a tree
green and great during the warm summer months
unaware of the freezing winter winds that will blow away all my protective leaves. barren. cold.
i hope someday i will become evergreen
beautiful, tall, luscious and full- pine or cedar or spruce
staying fragrant all year round

but for now i remain a daisy
nothing special
dried, pressed and crushed between these pages, within these words.

You make me feel different.
No longer the odd man out
even when I am alone.

Around you its real,
I strut not slouch.
No longer wasting smiles.

I tried and tested the adage
'You cannot break your own heart'
I never thought I would be that focus group.

I guess I just love you Is All
Need you Is All

I didn't know I was waiting for someone like you.
You opened my eyes and cleared the clouds.
My heart beats so hard it hurts, if this is love then....
****!

I guess I am just hoping Is All
Just thinking out loud Is All

You showed me the color of glass.
You only have to stay for a day, or 2 or 3, Forever max.
We will have a life that other are jealous off.

We deserve no better,
We deserve each other.
Each other is enough.

I'm just wanting Is All
I'm just craving Is All

Expecting you to be there
Expecting you to care
Is exhausting
As I get lost in the echo
Of your hollow words
Whispers of emotions
You didn’t feel

Telling others of first sight
and first touch
but truly not recalling them

I became the victim
Of your “three word lie”
As I feel my heart die
knowing you can never
knowing you will never

Feel the way I felt
when I looked into your eyes

Hi, hello, good morning
Hi, hello, I miss you
Hi, hello, look at me
Hi hello I love you
Hi hello

I am a glass half full
Transparent and beautiful in my own right
But muddled
I am a glass half empty
Like the realist I am, knowing that sometimes a glass is just a stupid glass

What does a glass matter when all of them are ***** because I couldn't get out of bed today to get the dishes done
Why should I care about half empty or half full when I should definitely just drink the stupid water because I haven't all day and my head is beginning to ache due to dehydration

Why is it that sometimes I can take my life by the reigns and be the best version of myself but that other times it feels like some unknown variable has snatched them away from me and is driving down the freeway in the wrong direction going 90 miles an hour

How hard is it to believe me when I say that I'm okay
I am okay
I swear
But I'm drowning in a sea of my own tears
Oh dear, I wish I hadn't cried so much
Now I'm losing my way, falling deeper into this hole in my head, losing myself and losing you

When the sun rises it will all be gone
I'll wake up and everything will return to normal
And I'll sit at the table with my glass half full.