the poem started with your lips on mine
but ended with some tears and wine

lies dripping from his lips like honey
tastes so sweet
i think it’s kind of funny
i saw it coming as i was falling-
like the leaves i was falling-
he leaves and i’m still falling-
in my sleep,in my dreams i see him falling-
in? no, out-
of me, of love


and i dive in honey
sweet lies
between my thighs
he dives-

I'll hold your hand until you let go.
The tighter you hold on the longer I'll stay.
But to be honest if our hands lost grip
I'd still stay.
My hands are forever intertwined in yours.
Even if your small fingertips lose touch
I will stay.
I will be mindful of the color or your nails.
And the tremble of your hands from nervousness.
When you let go
just remember
I'll be waiting for you.

I feel like the walls are closing in around me and I can't stop it, I stay still and deathly silent in my strange fit. There isn't anything I can do to stop this attack, all I can do is close my eyes and wish to be back. Put in your music and try to regulate your breath, silently though all you can do is wish for death. You try to speak but your mouth won't move no matter how hard you try. Soon you let the tears fall and you sit there and cry. Tell yourself it's ok all you want, but you can't speak not even a grunt.
Breathing is calm now, but still you can't get your head out of a bow. You've stopped shaking but still feel as if your body is quaking. You feel as if you are going insane and everything feels like a breaking aching pain. Stomach is in knots, I wanna throw up but I can't. It's just me, myself, and my thoughts. I can't speak and I can barely think, I swear I need to see a shrink.
My stomach stops churning but now my head feels like its burning. There isn't anything I can do about it. Just wait and calm down from my fit. A few more minutes go by and my mind starts to clear, all the attack was was my fear. I still want to be left on my own, but now at least I'm able to pick up the phone. Ill be ok, at least for another day. That is my panic attack.

I spill my heart out on paper
Bleed words that I carry, unspoken
I write and write and write
I write just to cross it all out just to crumple the paper
And miss the bin

Everything’s unfinished
The poem,
The painting,
My coffee.
The phone call,
Our talk,
The text.

They say I’m too ******* myself
But how can I not be
When all I know is half
Never full
Never whole
I never seem to make up my mind

I change my outfit according to my mood
Cut and dye my hair to match it to the sunrise that keeps me awake at 5am
Yet nothing feels right

I have to change
be more of who I’m not
Less of what I think I should be
Others seek happiness
I seek change

She wears jewelry around her neck
Diamonds
Suffocating her in her sleep
Bracelets of gold leaving her wrists bruised and blue

Sweet little girl was a gift to a stranger thrice her age
She is warned to never disrespect him, to always put his happiness first
Daddy crying out of happiness
Mommy crying, out of happiness

Everyone cheering and dancing as she is forced on a chair bigger than her, in a dress she should have worn for prom first

At the age of 14 told to act like a woman
Carrying a ring on her finger, soon lives of her own

She fears the night now
As they are cheering in daylight,
There will be no one to cheer at night
Besides him