My left hand has poerrty
My right hand doesn’t know about.

I want to be intertwined with you.
mixed into your thoughts,
your words,
your actions:
however subtle,
but always significant.

I want to be every part of you
I want to be choked up with your words
swallowed down with your fears
entangled with your musing,

I want to be the hand
that so effortlessly grazes through your curls the pencil
that composes every beautiful thought onto paper  
the lips
that sing never more perfect words and melodies

I wouldn't mind being
the tears that stream your face when you aren't sure of who you are
the curses you pitch out in frustration when life has you overworked
and the laugh that echoes throughout galaxies when you are truly happy

I would be any part of you,
the good parts and the bad
just to say that I was with you;
just to feel like I meant something
even if you weren't aware of it
like the breaths you take that have become such a familiar process
that you aren't aware of the air anymore,
the vitality of it
I want to be the air you breathe
and the eyelashes that protect your dark, secret bearing irises.
I want to be you and a part of you and with you, vital and unnoticed, for the rest of our lives.

Morning of new year  .  .  .
All senses waking up wild,
  .  .  .  First flowers of spring.

I thought I could escape everything If I kept running
but now I've broken both my legs and without you as my crutch, I'm not sure I'll find the willpower to walk again.
  The other day I realized you can prolong the pain for so long but eventually you're going to have to come face to face with it.
I still can't look you in the eyes.
   I swear I can still feel your calloused hands on my lips, They keep me quite and passive. I lose the urge to speak whenever Im around you.
  When I look in mirrors all I see is a little girl staring back, eyes wide and apprehensive. Her hands are shaking and her teeth are chittering, shes breaking down on the inside.
  I wore my boots today to feel confident, maybe if I walk loud enough people will finally acknowledge my tread.
  Im tired of tiptoeing around, I will stomp my feet until everyone hears the pain Im trying to resonate. You always told me i was too loud, I hope I shatter your eardrums now.
  You cover your ears and shush me, I shrink down to the size of my heart, indecisive and weak.
  My father always said patience isn't our families strongpoint, I'm trying to change that. I keep giving you chances because I'm tired of expecting the worst out of people. Maybe I'm more like my dad than I'd like to admit.
  I want you to prove me wrong, I need you to try.

The blood wasnt pumping anymore.
  your body can still thrive without a brain but never without a heart
I think thats why ive always felt dead.
  My heart was bitter and black, the only sound escaping it were the whispers of envious mad men looking for their sanity.
  Love didnt have a home in my body, only a motel room where it would come and go but never stay long. Dissarayed sheets and the lights off, hands searching for love but only finding lust.
  I learned to never beg for it to stay the morning after, it always left when the sunlight flitted over last nights empty promises.
  If love ever came knocking now i wouldnt have the slighest clue, id slam the door before it even stepped a foot in.