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Hello Daisies Aug 2023
It's like I know
I'm a mess
I know I'm full of stress
I'm depressed
I'm a total wreck

I know it hurts my health
I know it kills my cells
I know I live in hell
But

Without it
Who would I be?
Without it
What would I see
Without it
I can't believe
In me

I've learned to live
Without calm bliss
I've learned to kiss
Every scar
Every war
My mind
Plays

I have to stay
I cannot stray
I'm too afraid
On a deeper level
Then what ifs
And what nots
It seems like it's a lot

To lose
To choose
What to do

I've learned to love me
Even tho I hate me
I've learned to live
Like this
I make my art
I play my part
I'm afraid to change
After 26 years
To become someone else
Is a huge fear
I just learned
To love this girl
With this choice
It could change my world
Change it all
What if I fall
What if I'm mean
What if I'm not clean
What if I'm boring
What if I'm snoring
What if
What if
I'm not me
The pieces I love
The things I hold above
What if they leave
Like everyone else
What if I can't believe
In the father above
What if I'm gone

Tell me
If I choose this
What if???
Hello Daisies Jul 2023
Old memories flood in me
So so many
Storms of memories
Of you
Of me
Of everything
I once dreamed

I was so deeply in love
never to touch
You
I wanted to know you
I wanted to show you
My heart

I saw magic
With us
You are why
I believed in
The sky
At night
At sunlight
The moon
The romance
The perfect chance
To steal
A kiss
To feel
The bliss

I remember it
So vividly
I held onto you
You kept me living
Breathing
Full of
Hope
You helped me
Fight
So many demons
You helped me
Survive
For so many reasons

I never could thank you
You might find me crazy
You probably always knew
The crush I had on you
It was awkward
Embarrassing
Yet sweet
And charming

I love you
not in that way
I adore you
For helping me
Stay
Alive
Most nights
I wanted to die.
when I saw you
My hope shined through
You gave me a chance
To sparkle
To shine
To leave my pain
Behind

I kept a photo of you
To never forget
To never regret
I treasured every moment
They were small moments
Meant nothing to you
I was just a small girl
In your large world,
But you were everything
To me

Never mean to me
You spoke to me
You were kind to me
That's all I needed
You were beauty
To me
In my eyes
You gave me reason
To realize
I could love
I could climb above
And feel
It all
Feel the helpless
Romance
Feel the imaginary
Dance
Feel my heart
Beging to
Prance

You gave me
Everything
I needed
To be a girl
You gave me a
Whole entire
Shimmering
World

I had a chance
To grab ahold
To have you
To find us
To see it through
I decided
It's best to
only pretend
To know
All of you
I never want
The magic
The secret
Taunt
To go away
No
I want the romance
I dreamed of
To stay
So to you
I strayed
I ran far away
Part of me wanted to play
all of me knew
To keep away
So I can hold onto
My feelings
My hope
Of girlhood
Of a sweet, Romantic
Rope
I clung to so tight
I never wanna see
A night
Where that could be tarnished

So thank you
For being my
Sweetest crush
For the most
Innocent of lust
For letting me
Feel
Without limitations
For letting my mind
Run wild
With imagination
It kept me alive
It kept me burning
With passion

Thank you so much
For the beautiful journey
And lesson
Thank you
For being you
You have no idea
Of what you saved me
Through
Hello Daisies Jun 2023
Talking about whose line
Offers to **** my spiders
Hey do you want a bug lol
Excuse me ??!
Jealousy from a distance
Prank texts at 2am
Eating spaghetti at the bar
Saying no and regretting it from
Afar
Chugging Two long island ice teas
Texting you I wanted to see
The smoke coming out your house
Fruit roll ups the next day
Stupid **** we would say
Crisp October
Halloween
Cinderella and a warm hoodie
Made me swoon all afternoon
Walking passed you with my head down
Why did you ignore me I deserved a hello
grey hoodie
My sister said you looked cute

I got this for you *** we're just friends
It means nothing
Pink and red valentine's day
Made my heart sway
Pink floofy hoodie
Jumping into my arms
I don't wanna care about  you
I really really like like you tho
Head on your shoulders
I like you too

Feeling hurt and alone
Texts from afar wishing my mother a safe recovery
Purple shirt as a first gift
For Christmas
I started to miss
You

Notes left on the table
Welcoming me to your home
Warm hugs
Fun piggy backs
Cuddling to Austin powers
Warmth with no covers

Making love
Without having ***
Laughing on the couch
Music playing
You kept saying
We're destined
We're meant to be
Pinky promise of eternity
Blacking out on each other

Telling everybody
I'm your girl
Kissing me on the lips
In front of them
Gave me a confused grin

Helping me buy a car
Traveling with me afar
Meeting my parents
Unprovoked
Will you be my girlfriend
The moment
The moment
The biggest moments

Taylor swift lover
My heart's been broken
Yours has been bruised
Dancing in Grandview
Dancing with you
Holding you
Falling on you
Grieving with you
These are the moments
I always knew

Surprise stuffed animals
Birthday cakes
Love messages on my windshield
Staying with me when I was stood up
Steak dinners
And pasta nights
Puking on you
What a lovely night

Driving to new York
Niagara falls
Beautiful sights of all
Bob Evans
Twix and pizza
Alligators on the ceiling
What a funny feeling
Even the most simple of memories
Peanut butter and jelly
You made for me
The most simple
Yet special
The biggest moments
Are so small
But best of all
I'll never forget
The sweetness
The cold breaths
The hot ***
I'll never forget the warmth
Of your hoodie
The first time
I'll hold it forever
I'll never forget the pounding
In my heart
With the words  to
jump start
Us

Driving in that car
Pink shirts to match
I'll always hold onto
Even if I can't recall
The words spoken
I'll still remember
The moments
The special tokens
Of us
Of us
A surplus
Of love
With fruit roll ups
💕
Love
Hello Daisies Jun 2023
I'd sit up all night
Waiting
Excited
Exhilarated
For the big event

Then it would come
And go
Come and go
Ever so
Then it's gone

I'd wait for so long
Then it's gone

As a child
I couldn't wait
To be 16
Sixteen came
And went
I can barely recall
The time spent
At sixteen

As a teen
As a child
As a young adult
It comes and goes
Comes and goes
Ever so
Til it's gone
Doesn't this feel wrong

I wait so long
For memories
That were once strong
To fade along
The shore line
Til they sink
Sink down
Never found
Again

Every memory
Every moment
Goes away
Fades away
We all try to ignore it
All try to stay
Okay
Like it's normal
To live this way
These short lives
Meaningless til we
All eventually die
And all we have
All we hold
Is memories
Waiting to unfold
Then fade
Fade
Come and go
Come and go
Til they're gone
Stardust
Crumbles
To just dust
The wind carries it away
Never even a last word to say
It's just gone
Gone

Maybe that's why we have
Songs
They stick with us
They stay with our hearts
We sing to them
We never forget
The melodies
That touch us so
Even if they fade
They still find a way
To stay

They come and go
Come and go
But the melody helps us
Remember it so
Ever so

It's all I hold onto
The melodies
Of all my memories
Because they are fading
Fading ever so
It hurts me to hold
What wants to be let go
It hurts
To see my life
Keep passing by
I have no power
To slow
Slow
Slow anything down
So I turn up the sound
Of the melodies
To keep me above
Ground

It all comes and goes
Comes and goes
Til it's gone
Ever so
But the melodies
That play in tune
With your soul
They hold you
They slow you
They show you
What you are missing
What you are grasping for
That's what the songs are for

Til it's all gone
I'll hold on
To every song.
  May 2023 Hello Daisies
guy scutellaro
unchained spirit

simple beauty

a flower

(as it was meant to be)
  May 2023 Hello Daisies
fray narte
She was an art,
but she wasn't the type
you'd find in museums
or the type that would
make you feel profound things
in your chest.

She was an art
tucked in hidden pockets
of a faded yellow dress.
She was an art,

slowly sketching herself
out of existence.
Why do I feel numb
Watching the world
Listless in sight
Because I only see it in black and white

Colors are washed out of my eyes
And every light in me has died
All I see are smiles as frowns
Because I only see them upside down

Love songs don’t have any meaning
For a person who is trapped in their mind
Love can attempt to come my way
And I will just glance and walk away

Storm clouds cries and fills the ocean
But my salty tears competes with emotion
Filling the ocean ten times till tomorrow
That the ocean will be overwhelmed with sorrow

In the end,
I try a superficial smile
And try to fool myself for awhile
But as much as I try
There is nothing left inside
Because everything in me
Can’t seem to come alive
For those who suffer from mental illness, I hear you and I know.  There is help and above all hope.  You are strong, keep fighting, you are worth it.
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