My heart’s in lockdown and
I can’t break free,
I wish I could feel something,
Wish I could be me.

I feel like I’m running in circles,
Striving for emotion,
When all I feel is numb
And sick of my devotion

To the voices in my head
Who keep telling me to quit,
“Why not just give up now,
There’s no way to fix it!”

But I know there’s something there,
In the deepest part of me,
Something that still wants to learn,
Love and move and breathe.

So I will spend some time today,
And love that part of me,
And lock down all the saddened parts and
Start to break free.

If this world were to ever turn red
Like ripe pomegranates or strawberry spread
You’ll feel the pull as I tug on this thread.

  Let me scribble all over your balmy skin
  With details about my soaking sins
  Until you’re covered with my poison within.

  Let me greet you with my ruby lips
  I’m feeling feline, my teeth might nip
  But there’s no knowing where my tongue might slip.

If this world were to ever turn red
Like opera curtains or a feverish head
We can put on a show in my backyard shed.

  Let me document you in this space
  You yearn for the power I make you chase
  Camouflaged in feather, leather, and lace.

  Let me guide your figure onto the floor
  Then obey and get onto your fours
  Fight with a devil and you’ll lose the war.

If this world were to ever turn red
--It’s really just a matter of when
There’s not a color I’d prefer instead.

I am still waiting for a day
Where I get a flower bouquet
We drive around top down
On our way downtown

The cars speakers screaming
Leading us to even more dreaming
And I turn my head around
Thinking you must have me confound

Yet here we are
Wishing I could put this in my memory jar
Yearning this moment lasts forever
Though it is not what we endeavour

In a life that just continues to pass
Like we are all trapped in a big hourglass
All those cheerished moments
Are just added up components

She taught me alot of things.
But mostly regarding human beings.
That they can be a handful sometimes.
Coz they know nothing about being precise.

She told me to find meaning in everything i do.
And that dreams do really come true.
She always told me, she didn't have money.
Even after i saw it.

She always warned me about boys.
I didn't get why.
As i grow older,
I'm starting to see what she was talking about.

I dream one day, i grow up to be like her.
And give my daughter the best advice as well.
I love my mom so so much