I really like you but it's hard enough being a fool for you
To be uncomfortable with every single thought of you
You wear that frown upon your face
I hope behind it hides your grace or something beautiful
If you've got scars in hidden places
Although its charred,  I won't be wasting something beautiful
But can heaven not see you're good?
Can heaven not lend a hand?
Can heaven not open its gates for him?
Help me understand
How a man
Can feel like this?

While I'm running my fingers through your hair
Trying to figure out of she's been there
She's laced in your shadow
Caught in your stare
And I just feel like the third one there

I was never a child
I was always an ageing adult
Half chocolate
Half a middle aged twice-divorced man
Searching his memories
For the moment he departed from the school yard and built a life on the sand
Where his chocolate half melted in the heat of mid-day
And left him half a person
Half a puddle of sticky mess
Warning people
With signs and sirens
Not to slip on the part on him that got away

Today was a hard day
And life is a hard life
But didn't decide to be here
And I can't decide to get out
Because I was created
I'm sure for a purpose
I can feel my heart beat
I cam feel my existence
So if I was created
To do some sort of thing
Then am I like a product
Or someone's existing thing
Surely I belong to someone
Some awesome creative being
Because if I'm a creation
Does that mean I belong to him?
Can I take ownership over all that is happening
In and around and beside and above me
If I have questions
Will He answer me
If I was created
Can I be free?

I woke up in the midst of my suffering
To realize that my feelings were swollen
And my heart was sore
And that it was a gift to have to apply bandages to your wounds
And that having time to tend to your swollen feelings
Meant that you've been given another day
And having feelings inside of you meant that you're still alive

i sold out
i'm sold out
i filled the auditorium
because i advertised what they wanted to see
but i'll rather cut myself on mirror glass than look at me
i show you you
because you like you
i like that you like what you see
but it's not me
my smile is known
because it's already been shown
i'll rather cut myself on your teeth that smile with my own
you like my fashion
because i'm wearing your skin
its neat and clean
but it's too tight for me to fit in
i look like all your reflections
but watered down versions
plastered up images that show year round
nothing new
its just you
but its image filled room
i wonder how much people would still remain
if they knew they were looking at me
dressed in your face

Quality silence
Hearing the jerking and workings of the world
With enough peeps funneling through for the room to be filled
Yet over and under our talking occurs
And we converse for hours without saying a word

I've been lower down on the hill since birth
And I'm jealous of those who are higher on the list
Who never felt or feared the thirst
Of those who didn't get to get to the top first

The sky looks wider from inside a box
Said the seeds from amongst the rocks
And boys in school shorts before they're lose
Now remember those days from from their past

And so the lark sings
To the day's first dawning
Some dusty motel
Sees a woman fawning
And at once it's all over
For naught but for wanting.

let's dream together
let's be fools for just a moment
step out of our bodies and let the action be its own atonement
let's slip in the space in between
being an adult and being a human being
and watch the two from both ends just to feel that sort of feeling
let's be on half of a whole
let's be the inside of a fold
bent at an angle that for once we've created all on our own

To the love I never had
With a drink in my hand
Although the days were never bad
And enemies never glad
I'll still be sad
Even if only by a tad
For the love I never ever had

In the gallery of us
There is one picture wearing no paint
And I look at it endlessly as I wait...

Don't touch me
Because i want it
You have someone who wants you the same
Waiting where you left her
Where You've built an alter for you two be rest on
So don't touch me
Because I'm on the outside
You have someone who loves you
You can't have someone who wants you too

Why you choose to welcome it into your home
broken and wilted and hard as a stone
there'll be a place for you next to the throne
because you believed that your life's not your own
One day when we all drifted away
off to find love in a whole other place
You'll be welcomed through mercy and grace
into His home where He prepared your place
because when He knocked you opened your gates...

You played the the biggest role in the background
So the audience never heard your song
You spent all that time being ugly
When you were beautiful all along

You were an iceberg passing by my ship
Who could so easily have sunk me with one rip
But I'm grateful for your mercy once upon a time
Because I'd willfully touched the ocean floor if you became mine

I tried to find reasons to hate you but I couldn't
So I turned my face to the things that I shouldn't
And saw the things that I normally wouldn't

She don't wanna know him
Says that she gets lonely
But she loves the space around her hands
When she stretches out her arms in both directions
She throws away love
Like people do old rugs
She won't need a hug when she could rather dance
With her veins fully attached to a heart with no dissections
She gives herself kisses
Bares herself witness
You don't need a person just to feel emotions
Maybe slightly out of focus but you could have a moment staring at your own reflection

Cut like diamonds
with parts undesired
he stood on his lonesome
while heaven admired
the curves of his shoulders
and behaviour to be scolded
he was feminine but potent
neither David nor Moses
caught me like a net could
with the softness of manhood
both eyes and mind and brothers understood
like he knew they would
swayed in a dance
melted like glass
oh to understand
the essence of man

Your texture
Your waves
Your smell
Your growth
Your glow
Are things that form my love
And I only want someone who loves you as much as I do

The World is filled
With People putting Their Lives on Paper
am i supposed to act like mine should be framed?

How lovely it is to be lovely
How clever and cunning to have aquired such a charm
How absolutely lovely it is to hold such a power in your palm...

So I dance
Because it takes nothing from me but a little bit of energy
That would've been wasted standing still in any case
Might as well share a moment with a crowd
And be a part of a movement for just a moment
There is peace
There is one
There is freedom
I wish the world was a dance floor sometimes
Not all the other things it learned to be
I wish we could use just a little bit of energy to dance together
Instead of waste it on other things that cause us to stand still

I want to feel love
Swelling up inside me like a cancer
that doctors can't cut out of me  
And spreads so rapidly
through my entire being
so that even my soul feels it

He was a man
He was much bigger than me
His heart bigger than his chest and it towered over me

I've been restless
In and out of town
Nothing could hold me down
But now that I've got you
To hold me down
I'm sleeping without a sound
Baby you've got me dreaming
I'm up and down the ceiling
Floating like I'm made of helium
This must be love

Perfection
I chanted at my reflection
As if answering a question
asked by their rejection

A river flows against a part of me
And washes away the heart of me
oh that a drift
could be so swift
That it rinsed
out the bits
and pieces that were burnt

I wonder of Im remembered
And whose doing the remembering
Do they see a person I know
When I pop into their minds eye
Or is a version of of me of their own design
I guess thats not for me to decide
But I do wonder from time ot time
If I hold a place in another person's mind

To imagine is to be more
To be only human is as useless as being your work PC
But to close your eyes but still be able see
To be awake but still be able to dream
To run a mile without leaving your seat
To be to center of all these things
That sure sounds a whole lot like being free...

Around the moon and slightly ajar
A man sat down his eyes to the stars
A wish he made on a star he gazed
That tomorrow he'll get to see her again

Once the sun rays hit my heart
And the heat burnt the flesh of my valves
I could never stand the nighttime again
And I would lie awake and wait for the break of dawn

In the corner is safe
Safe from the four walls that stare me don't
I'll bury myself in this right-angled paradise
Where there is only room for me

He wears a choir around his neck
They sing him praises underneath his vest
So when the world gives him hate
He hears nothing they say
And goes on thinking that he's the best...

after locking yourself out of me
you immediately felt the urge to return to the space inside of me
and you looked at me as if i was the one who caused it

Talking about your problems as if they make you different
Making small news of suffering to make the face look magnificent
While pain weathers the feathers off ofthe surfaces
Of so many who never share their problems

Talking about your problems or talking in vain
Talking about my problems when I know I'm in pain
Talking about my problems does make me feel sane
Talking about my problems like leaks from my brain
Talking about my problems to create a new frame
Talking about my problems to make me "okay"
Just talking about my problems to make them go away...

Mothers watched boys being stolen from their beds
In the midst of their dreaming
To become men that couldn't fend off the nightmares when they slept

My favorite song
Reminds me of you
My rhythms gone
In every single tune
My visions lost
And every colour's blue
I can't do
The things that I usually do
Its all consumed
By you

I shiver because the sun doesn't reach a hidden city
Its cold where shadows find home

For goodness sake
My heart still beats
Air still crashes through my lungs when I breath
Veins still spit blood onto my skin when I bleed
My eyes still follow lines down pages when I read
My thoat still expands and contracts when  I eat
My waist still leads to knees then down legs to my feet
And someday you'll remember that  I'm still a human being
Even after I acted beast when I said those things

Does anyone know what it's like
To gaze upon sight
That doesn't exist,
And fear that when you wake up
You would have lost yourself
If your gazing persists?

I cry for the wind sometimes
How she gives up far too easily after she rages so heavily
And screams in all her might stirring and swirling everything about
Like a child tossing all her toys out of her cot
Like a drunk swearing at the moon
I cry because we are far too alike
We burst and quake, let the earth feel our discontentment
Then when all our quaking is done
And the air is out our lungs, we lay weak in the shadows of ourselves
With only our bare skin to swaddle us

We were lovers of the worst kind
The type you don't tell you friends about
That you don't really wanna talk about
But you have every thought about

I shut off my PC to enjoy a pause
And take a sweet sip of reality
And then I realised that my robot parts were defective
Well, uhm, I guess
When you look at the greater speck of things
That nobody's perfect
So I carry around a load of metal in my chest
No one ever died of being the odd one out
Well, uhm, I guess I could get a rust inferction and die of lock jaw
But we're all going to die someday
And the cause is never as important as the event
I'm just a half person while the rest of you are walking around with all the right ****
So what?
I'll just carry on walking around with all this kinetic energy
Looking for a decent outlet for all my love

Please excuse the mess
I don't clean up often
I let my thoughts lay around like stockings
Create piles of memories in corners and pockets
Until everything I look for is  lost and
I'll still toss in some more reasons through the seasons of dropping
Little bits and drips of emotions and mocking
Every and any lover who tries to stop me
From building up a wall of unexamined issues and problems
That follows me from place to place as angry as an angry mob could
So as you can tell
I don't have time to mop a tile or pack a shelf
And still, make a bed and be a friend as well

I drank away my wealth
And I'm a bit drunk now
Sitting on the back of the bus
Reclining in my seat
Remembering a time when I wasn't in this deep
When my regrets had a resolution that was never this steep
**** I get nervous remembering those things
For past is a wormhole that swallows me whole
And leads me down a path that always leads me back home
A place I knew once when I wasn't so grown
And a front door welcomed a man a lot less old
But I've long grown too fond of struggling alone
With the coins in my pocket already half way gone
The youth I once knew wasted in the wind
Just sitting on the back seat of a bus
Sunken into the creases in my skin

Sunrise rise from the dusk
For all the animals to busk
From the elephants tusks
Fall the butterflys husk

A mouth that lies
Is a mouth unwise
And turns around
And pokes fun at my insides
And breaks my soul
And it bleeds out whole
So the thruth I withhold
Remains the thruth untold...

I hated you with all of me
Until you filled the core of me
And slowly without me knowing it
I liked the parts that was shown to me
Now whenever I see your face it seems
I end up feeling like I'm in love with it