Label me bipolar
Who am i
Label me borderline personality disorder
Who am i

I feel i have lost identity in theses labels
I've  lost my happiness
because i believed in them for so long
I've  lost me

Who am i
Who am i

I stare outside my bedroom window a tear runs down my cheek
I look over to someone in the the street dancing listening to music
I think to myself that used to be me.

The first time I saw you,
I knew your eyes weren't just brown.
I stared into your eyes
and they reminded me of soil.
The comparison itself doesn't sound so pretty,
but I stared a little longer
and your eyes reminded me even more of soil.
Soil that life peeps through to spit beautiful flowers,
Soil with rich health growing among it,
Soil that holds more than billions of lives;
memories, tears, laughter and anger.
Soil that trembles the world averagely two inches into disaster,
Soil that covers the nickel nucleous of our precious blue star,
Soil that preserve resting ansestors,
dust they became.
Soil that clasp secrets scientists breathe for revealing,
Soil that hides the bones of the first organisms to roam this planet.
Your eyes weren't just brown,
they weren't just ordinary brown eyes.
Your eyes were heavy with the world.
And as I clawed deeper and deeper into your soul,
I felt how your body cracked
little by little
like fragile glass wanting to burst with burning hot water.
Your eyes are so brilliant,
but to cradle tremendously vast amounts of the Earth's existence must be
so frightening.

I found a mend for a friend
amidst the soft dew
I hear bells in our shells
when our quarrels - they were few
I found art in our heart
near the sandy beach
I feel my spirit is much near it
when the sky we do reach
The sun has fire so much higher
when our hands are close
I feel more within my core
when our eyes had light the most
So let us stay in this pleasant way
As fiery as mars
Let us hold this glowing gold
As we dance amongst the stars

Life can be hard when your thoughts are messier than your bed could ever be.
Sentences, phrases, words, anything just racing around my mind.
Sometime I can sort them, catagorise them in a way that makes them easier to perceive.
But sometimes, that's not the case.
They twist and manipulate as if my mind is a kaleidoscope and every new thought just adds another fragment to the broken picture inside my head.
Maybe it would help to understand, or maybe it would just add to the confusion.
I wish I understood why my mind works like this, in these confusing an mysterious ways.
Perhaps one day I'll understand why they behave this way, but for now I'll continue trying to organise my racing thoughts.