Forgive me for I am forever flawed.
Born scared, chewed up, and mauled.
A gift I was given, the gift of life.
But something was taken, a sacrifice.

I am different than most, a brain malfunction.
I do not come with papers, or instruction.
I must navigate alone in a sea of existence.
Doing what is right with patience, and persistence.

I once did not understand that I was this way.
For I was just a pawn in life, just here to play.
But now I know, and with a heavy heart.
I am forced to reboot, give in, and restart.

Forgive me for I am not your average man.
I was born with gods will, and a different plan.
I have climbed to the highest peak and survived.
I have hit rock bottom and never compromised.

A.Emmi 06/19/18

We were one
Now we are two
All of us
And all of you
We all say
"You people are monsters"
No one can say
It's not true
The only thing
That we can say
Is "I am less monstrous
than you"
I guess that's why
We all take sides
The only place
Where we can hide
The shadow of our enemy
Too dark to see
Our monstrous side

You wouldn't understand
what I feel every time
whenever I look at you
I paint you in my mind

I become speechless
I become motionless
whenever you're here
I become somebody else

I try to reach for words
but all I hear is your voice
I try to meet your gaze
but all my efforts go in vain

I convince myself
not today
the petty condones
I make day by day

and you're here oblivious of
how much you've invaded my mind
because losing myself is so easy these days
whenever I see you from the corner of my eye

Some day I'll muster all the courage
and have a dance with you
Some day We'll sit beside each other
and have an ice scream scoop
Some day I'll smile with you
while we laugh at our weird peccadillos
Some day I'll leave behind my doubts
and you'll know what my world is without you

Drowning in your presence.
Filling my lungs with false thoughts,
And hope.
I try to grasp reality but your pulling my legs down with you.
With you all.
The sea of strangers.
Of the hopeless, of the ones stuck.
Not going anywhere but down.
Into the abyss.

I am drowning,
Without any water,
Just waves of loneliness;
As soon I see the shore,
I get pulled back,
By the angry waves,
Drown they say,
Give up,
Let go,
You shall find relief that way.
The faster I swim,
The more I feel,
Claws and teeth at my feet,
The sadness biting into my soul,
I am drowning in this flood,
Howling,
Howling they are,
All for my blood.
My net has a giant tear,
My boat has a huge hole,
And my anchor,
Isn't holding me down,
Does anyone care?
The tentacles are on my neck,
I can't breathe,
Is it a sin to want,
To want to drown,
For I have forgotten the air,
How my head feels above the water,
Tell me,someone,
Anyone,
Do I matter?