I remember crying waterfalls in my bed,
struggling to get out,
and then Jesus came.
Jesus saved me.
I accepted Jesus's grace,
and i finally understood.

I think that I know that it was all ment to be.
No,
I believe.
I believe that it was all ment to happen.
That God closed that door because he knew I couldn't,
And that if he was the right one,
Our love would never have failed.
But because it did, I know that it was never love.

I go to the doctors
just for a checkup,
she puts her hand on my chest to feel my heart.
And at that moment i wonder if she can feel how its broken into a million pieces.
I wonder if she can feel with each thump, another piece breaking off.
I wonder if she can feel all the denial, all the workers in my brain trying to mend those pieces together,
but then it all breaking apart again.

Time has passed
I have moved on
but one word still glimmers
Hope.

I wonder if I have been in anyone else's prayers.
I wonder if someone else has prayed every single day about me.
I wonder if an angel number has ever been about me,
wishing that they could have a chance with me,
just like i wished for a chance with him.

Jade is my first love.
he's the one that will always stay in my heart, even after each season passes.
one piece of my heart is always dedicated to him.
I will never forget his birthday, his favorite color, his favorite shirt,
because part of me is him.