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FullmoonFlower Feb 2020
Don't blame me for being quiet
I just can't hear anything
other than the thoughts in my head
they are screaming
I just want some peace and quiet

Don't blame me for being quiet
I just want to sit here in silence
to stay quiet so at least
there's silence in one place

Don't blame me for being quiet
thoughts so overwhelming
I feel like turning the lights off
I just want some peace and quiet
please
Sometimes the pain gets too much and all I want to do is be quiet, i've heard a lot of nagging from people around me, wanting me to share and tell, but sometimes ... can we just sit with the ones we love and not talk?
FullmoonFlower Feb 2020
I wonder,
when you look at her
do you still wish it was me?

I wonder,
when you talk about your dreams
do you still hear me cheering?

I wonder,
whenever you hear a giggle
is mine still an echo in your head?

I wonder,
whenever you have a bad day
Do you still want to hear my voice?

I wonder,
if this season
reminds you of me
letting go is hard.
FullmoonFlower Feb 2020
As I looked up
the sky darkened
like it knew what to do
in this moment
no words
just to be there
like it felt my pain
as I gasped for air
too much weigh
on my little heart
the clouds knew
now pouring down
to comfort me
FullmoonFlower Feb 2020
You know the way clouds gently
strokes each other when they meet up in the sky?
That was how you removed every single tear
Gentle, soft and light as a feather
You removed what made me tear up
Until the day I was bottled up
and I couldn't hold the tears back
Because your cloud had passed me
and you were out of reach 
Moving in a different direction 
It's has been raining ever since
I dont know when it's gonna stop
FullmoonFlower Feb 2020
Lost my spark
where did she go?
I don’t know where to find her
they say she won’t come back 

I never got to say goodbye
Would I even be able to say anything to her?
is it growth, when you lost someone so pure hearted?
someone so joyful and loving

She probably got scared and decided to leave
she is a coward
it was all love though
never wanted to hurt
rather get hurt

Maybe she thought she could skip this chapter
Chapter of eternal pain
and return some day
who knows?

She should have been here
fought for herself
Now darkness took her place
she won’t be welcome if she returns
her kindness is not for this wicked world
I can’t be weak ever again
closure can’t be found
so I carry on
..
whatever that means
I haven't felt happy in a long time. I wrote this some time ago, when I was struggling to figure out who I was, it's a rocky road when you feel like you've lost yourself along the way, and when you have to accept that some parts of you won't be the same
  Feb 2020 FullmoonFlower
MellowMomo
Wishes are like butterflies
Beautiful, astonishing, but frail
Similar to magic spells
As if from a fairy tale.

Wishes are like tears
Uncontrollable and emotional
Because they come from the heart
They are illogical and irrational.

Wishes are like fine china
When they are too much to carry
They'll become broken shards
Reactionary and fragmentary.

Wishes are like the atmosphere
Surrounding me and you
Appearing in the form of fallen stars
How I wish they'd come true.
FullmoonFlower Feb 2020
Strolling aimlessly in my cage everyday
Wake up in the same corner, sadness
were hopelessness is sitting, wrapping its arms around me
I always end up going back to that corner
Can you blame me? I'm captured like this
It's the only place where I find comfort in these dark days
I get up, not much space, each corner
has it's own sick ways of treating me
trying to pull me in, whisper lies
It ends up being the same everyday
When I get too tired of crying with sadness
I go to loneliness, but that's not a friend either
So I turn to the sons of worthlessness
telling myself today is different
but they beat me up, uppercut me every time
And then there's the fourth corner. I never go there myself
It's dark there, darker than any other corner of my prison
Darker and more scarier if you close your eyes
I wont say it's name, it's a monster without mercy
But sometimes the sons throws me over to it
And I don't know when it gets tired of having it's claws around me
suffocating me
laughing at my pain
making my body numb
everything gets so heavy
it's a combination of all the corners
I've heard about how it can destroy you
I can only sit and wait for it to get tired of playing around
with my head
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