sometimes sadness swells
uncontrollably
and I'm not sure how to feel about it
other than I feel the way it forces me to
a mixture of sadness and confusion as I interrogate myself
through all the possible causes of my sadness
until i stumble upon it
where then it strikes a deep minor chord that resonates through my body
i wonder why this makes me sad
and whether i should be sad
and whether i deserve to be sad
everyone needs to feel sad once in a while
but it hurts
and that doesn't feel good
when a loved one dies,
or a friend leaves you,
or your hearts broken,
or you're failing class,
or you lose a game,
or you disappoint someone,
or you disappoint yourself,
or
maybe
when you just feel sad

but it will be okay
the swelling sadness settles down
you'll be fine.

I am empty
I said
In not so many words
The veiled confessions dripping off his ears like candle wax
As the wick burns down
Filling the room with a palpable smokiness
That only I can sense

I am choking
I am crawling
I can feel my light fading

For I am a teacup
Sitting on a shelf
Dusty but decorated
My handle pointed towards the wall
Breakable
And uninspired

How I long to be filled with more than emptiness
To have him pour all of his being into my heart and mind
To have him look into my eyes and see more than himself
But each confession only serves to deepen the loneliness
As a search for a soul to listen through the words

flatten your tongue
slip it between your teeth

n.

your little lips
forming an elipsis

o.

put them together
and may you declare
a word you’d so carefully deny—
no.

you spell it out
on table tops
shout it
from the rooftops

and when cursed hands
seek to defile your shrine
may you exclaim
"i am mine"