Waking up to a heavy chest
My body begging me to sleep again
And my anxiety begins the second I realize I'm alive
I'm trying to learn to function
With all of this negative energy inside me
I know it'll pass and
I know it'll get better
But right now it hurts
I feel unloved
Unloveable
I feel lost inside myself
A place I can't stay too long
Before I lose my mind
I can tell myself I'm worth it and
That my worth isn't defined by others
And it works for a bit
Until something else comes up and
My heart loses its energy
And I either feel like giving up
Or ready to fight everyone

My wheels were always a trusted friend,
but upon this degree of speed and spin,
I felt the wobble upon the road,
a countless amount of times I've rode!
At this moment, I looked around,
for the best place to strike the ground,
and in that instant, beneath my feet,
my board no more, only cracked concrete,
within the silence, I heard my mom,
“Don’t leave without your helmet on,”
with nothing soft to break my fall,
the ground and I began to brawl,
It ripped my clothes, it ripped my skin,
until my body seized to spin,
inside my head, my world still spun,
surely, my ragdoll body was done,
but how could I end my day on a spill?
so I scooped up my board
and climbed up Stoney Hill.

A hidden path, weaves into the woods
dividing along curves, serpent-like
warping and contorting life.

The wind shoots,
bouncing along the boundaries,
whipping and bending limbs.

The wild chirps,
broken growls and crunching
creeps into narrow edges.

The light fades,
seeping into the cracks
as it dips down under the canopy.

The ground is worn
with persistent life,
flattened and tired.

A known path, cuts into the woods,
bleeding along turns, serpent-like
warping and contorting life.

The wind swirls,
carrying decaying air
piling and packing into corners.

The wild whimpers,
unheard and tampered,
drowned out and forgotten.

The light drops,
reflecting and jumping,
lowering under the frames.

The ground is new,
but known, covering
and layering tried life.

she reads books and she plays music
the cute, innocent
clumsy girl
with freckles on her cheeks

you like to read and listen to music
the cool, handsome
sweet-talking man
who likes freckles on her cheeks

[ or at least you said you did ]

she rolls her eyes at your compliments
the cautious, bright
guarded girl
with curiosity in her eyes

you lay them on thick
the certain, sharp
imprudent man
with hidden agendas on your lips

she lingers a little longer
in hopes of crossing your path throughout the day

she laughs at your jokes
and you know they're not funny

she sings for you in the car because
you like her voice

[ or at least you said you did ]

she's become good at excuses
the hopeful, naive
kind-hearted girl
with sureness in her words

you soak them up
the stark, ill-intentioned
vacant boy
with uncertainty in your voice

she gave all she had to care for you,
the smooth, clever
self-serving boy

you convinced her that you loved her

[ or at least you said you did ]

John Lee Townes nodded sadly, knowingly
From his perch at the Come On Inn
Heard the ambulance boys
Needed two trips to get her out
(But John Lee an untrustworthy witness if there ever was one,
Prone to drunken blackout and sober embellishment
One step from rehab and two steps from the loony bin)
Though the facts at hand
Were short on gore, long on the mundane;
Peggy Rabish (her possessions few, her jewelry cheap)
Was found bruised, but not ******,
Lying in a profane yet oddly peaceful position
Of mock prayer or sleep.
As passers-by gawked,
Whispering inventions, plausible and otherwise,
Concerning jilted boyfriends and rich aunts,
Rummaging through their own memories
In search of credible alibis,
The state boys, diligent and professionally bored,
Secured the crime scene in their yellow-tape fashion.
Suspects?  One trooper barked, ****, just look around here.
****-heads, drunks, welfare cheats,
You tell me who the hell isn’t?
The park manager nodded rhythmically, disinterestedly,
Half-listening as he turned his collar up against the chill,
His thoughts focused in filling this soon-to-be empty lot,
Vacancies and felonies being equally bad for business.