so you say I am not putting effort into us....
you accused me of being distant and heartless....
while I laid in bed praying you'd call me or text me.
I woke up every morning hoping to hear from you
anything from the simplest hey to the most meaningful good morning.
I would think about your eyes and how they were so blue.... how badly I wanted them to look at me.... truthfully.
I craved to know you
how you liked your coffee,
your favourite dessert
favourite season
anything.
anything to get me a glimpse of who you are.
but you shrugged me off
saying you were busy....
I respected that, I respected you.
until you said you loved me
it truly did break me....
you were such a good liar until those words slipped from you lips.
you did not love me,
you just loved yourself to much.

This went way to far....
before I knew it you were telling me you loved me
but I've been scared from the start.
you smiled when we called
laughed when I talked
you just seemed so happy....
I want to say I tried so hard
but the truth is I didn't.
I knew you were not who I wanted
but I led you on from the start.

I heard you finally found someone....
someone who can give you thing's I guess I never could,
even though I tried:
I'm so happy that your dreams came true like you always wanted
and I promise you I tried really hard to stay away....
but I needed to see for myself if everything was okay
there was always a fire in your eyes I pray it didn't go away
but as time flew away I wanted to make sure it was still there
from our glory day's.
I also wanted to apologize
It's all my fault anyway
because I know I will never find someone like you.

there were worlds in my eyes that no one else could see....
they called me a dreamer, the way I would imagine the world not as it's truly seen
I was anything but....
I was set apart
always running in circles as they all think it's so easy
but I was living in a non reality
my mind spoke to loud
they have no idea how everything is so hard.

all the cards were unfolding in my hands out of control
the lights were slowly going out as I dug my own grave but somehow you ended up falling in the hole.
I was the worst of all
but it's just so dark inside
please don't get to close
I'm trying to hide the truth
I need to let you go
I really didn't want to let you down
but there's such a beast inside  
I guess were all just made of greed

I wanted to tell you how sorry I was....
that I had to find you in this cruel world and break your heart.
all I want is to go back to the start
but nobody ever told me it would be this hard.
the words 'I love you' clogged my throat making it impossible for me to breath.
it is such a shame we had to part
but it was all because of my heart.
I wish we never said hello on that day not so long ago.
you really were lovely
you told me all your secrets
but we were running in circles forgetting who we really are.
if I could go back to the start.... I never would have broken your heart.