This went way to far....
before I knew it you were telling me you loved me
but I've been scared from the start.
you smiled when we called
laughed when I talked
you just seemed so happy....
I want to say I tried so hard
but the truth is I didn't.
I knew you were not who I wanted
but I led you on from the start.

I heard you finally found someone....
someone who can give you thing's I guess I never could,
even though I tried:
I'm so happy that your dreams came true like you always wanted
and I promise you I tried really hard to stay away....
but I needed to see for myself if everything was okay
there was always a fire in your eyes I pray it didn't go away
but as time flew away I wanted to make sure it was still there
from our glory day's.
I also wanted to apologize
It's all my fault anyway
because I know I will never find someone like you.

there were worlds in my eyes that no one else could see....
they called me a dreamer, the way I would imagine the world not as it's truly seen
I was anything but....
I was set apart
always running in circles as they all think it's so easy
but I was living in a non reality
my mind spoke to loud
they have no idea how everything is so hard.

all the cards were unfolding in my hands out of control
the lights were slowly going out as I dug my own grave but somehow you ended up falling in the hole.
I was the worst of all
but it's just so dark inside
please don't get to close
I'm trying to hide the truth
I need to let you go
I really didn't want to let you down
but there's such a beast inside  
I guess were all just made of greed

I wanted to tell you how sorry I was....
that I had to find you in this cruel world and break your heart.
all I want is to go back to the start
but nobody ever told me it would be this hard.
the words 'I love you' clogged my throat making it impossible for me to breath.
it is such a shame we had to part
but it was all because of my heart.
I wish we never said hello on that day not so long ago.
you really were lovely
you told me all your secrets
but we were running in circles forgetting who we really are.
if I could go back to the start.... I never would have broken your heart.

Almost....
death could not hold a torch to the word that lingers in my mind every second of every day.
we were almost something, and that almost will haunt me for the rest of my life.
I will think about how we almost kissed that night in the dark, drunk off ***** and each other.
how you almost held my hand when we were so close to each other in the back of that old chevy truck.
the almost, when you smiled at me,
when we looked at each other,
when every word held so much anticipation.
our almost will be my forever.

we were testing every limit we could get our hands on....
it was like we could not survive without chaos.
it was always us dancing in burning building,
threatening the lightning,
coasting that gray line between life and death.
you'd push and I'd pull....
we fought like cats and dogs.
we blamed the world for it's shallow trick's it played on us....
but we were already way off the deep end,
crashing through the surface of everything we wanted to be.