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  Jun 2017 Faded
Arpan Rathod
Hearing her
voice, I realised
it was the last time 
          I was going to 
          hear it. My ears
          heard the screams
          of her rage being
          converted into
          sound and I felt 
          like I will go deaf. 
          Instead I went 
          numb, looked
back at the past
and her screams 
slowly faded.
  Mar 2016 Faded
in my dreams i see you sometimes
i am next to you and your eyes
are not sad
they just smile the way i saw them smiling
only a few times

when i look in the mirror
i hear your voice saying there was beauty in my
smile and in my big blue eyes
i was a little girl then
and many years have gone
and you have gone with them
i still remember your hugs
though it feels like decades since i was last in your arms
and your voice still echoes in my brain
i remember the last time we spoke you told me
to not cry,
to be strong
and i am trying to be.
i am.

i pretend that i am.

i see you in my dreams sometimes
and i am again a 6 years old little girl
running to you
when you open the front door
and waking up realising
i will see your face no more
it's the most painful story
and i cry sometimes
but you are not here
to open any door
and i am not 6 years old any more
and there's no beauty
in  my big blue crying eyes.

you left and took away your voice,
your dancing,
your bright face
your warm arms
and your kind eyes,
i am left only with a picture
i keep inside a box
behind the front door of my heart
and i want to go back,
to be your little girl again
and i know i'll never get to tell you
that I don't want to pretend any more
and I want you to tell me
that it's okay if i am not always strong
that it's okay to cry.

in many lines i have tried to write you
but i always do it the wrong way
and it seems impossible to describe
how much i miss you
and i need you
how much
i love you.
  Mar 2016 Faded
Echoes Of A Mind
I don't want to live
'Cause I'll only remember
Which I want to forget
Which before
Could keep me happy
On a bad day
Now only hurts
And reminds me
That feelings are a burden
But luckily for me
I can no longer
Feel anything...

What before was worry
Have now become stress
I'm all broken down
Not getting any rest
My dreams are affected
By the memories
So that even the sweetest dream
Suddenly turns into
A nightmare...

I want to delete
All these memories
I want to go back
Before they were made
I want to prevent them from
Ever being created
I'll start with the earliest
It all began
With a pack of my favorite chips
And a,
Back then,
Unknown person...
  Mar 2016 Faded
Echoes Of A Mind
I'm giving up on Love
I don't want it anymore
Don't want to hurt
and don't want to be jealous
Don't want to cry
and don't want to be nervous

I hate the fact that I smile
When his face shows up in my mind
Hate the fact that I
Always recognizes his voice
No matter where I am

I'm stalked by the feeling
That's slowly choking me
I wish that Love
would just let me be...
The day I tried to make a distance was the day he chose to move closer...
Faded Mar 2016
I don't really know what you think insanity is. when you think insanity do you think of mass murders and people who see things where you do not ?

I see myself. I see my own mind and how scared of it I am .my own mind which was once my escape is now my biggest fear, I look inside and I am forced out.

My own mind is forcing me out is this insanity or is this normal.

Am I becoming just another blissfully ignorant fool incapable of depth .

— The End —