There's an illusion in vacations
You buy a holiday bundle to endless beaches
Expecting to melt into a puddle
From the wet sun, from the softest massages, from the savoury delicacies
Yet I find myself melted
The same numbing beat
Disguised as lofi background
The same screeching shrieks
Of strangers in the sun
The lack in detail as I see the same view
Everyday, the same restaurant every meal
A sameness away from home

In the sand a million footsteps form
In a uniform path from the sleepy gazebos to the ocean
The ocean stretching far and away
The horizon hiding the destination of the sun
No footsteps can lead me towards where I long
Stuck in a routine I cannot call my own

I sit in complete silence for a moment
Not of the world but to myself
My glasses closed up on a table
Looking up to a world of blurry

Lights that are still and moving
Lights that are as bright as the stars
Eye of the day, eyeing me down
Metropolis of eyeing lights

I should feel a familiar feeling
A welcome home to the old and known
A welcome to a world I've bid farewell
From which I've turned and taken my leave

I am trapped by skyscraping bars
I am scrutinized like a labrat
Harsh and cold white billboard lights
The microscopic bend of mall mirrors

The overbearing heat of the sun
Oppressive heat, foot on my back
I lie exposed to the elements
A sun kept alive by artificiality

it is high noon
and white sunlight blazes the sky
the air becoming a wall of heat
it is a miracle anything survives

at the bottom of the sky,
long blades of grass climb upwards
rustling with movement
veiling all life in shadows

mother cat is promenading
striding with babies in her belly
they push against their mother
her stomach expanding gently like a rock

somewhere beneath the canopy
a shifty dragon lies
his snarling tongue is sniffing for something alive
slowly crawling towards a dent in the grass

a newly born litter of kittens
their mother still wandering for shade
their life snuffed out before they’ve opened their eyes
do they feel the sun kiss their sleeping heads goodnight?

neon pink across my face
the blurry blacks of dance
a prize of beauty to be blessed

on the dancefloor acting
a girl's not just a girl
she's the light of the night

and tuneless swayings
swell of mightiest feelings
a dance is hers to be given

Did she emerge from the
foam of the crystal ocean
baring skin of apricots and lust?
enveloped in peach silk waves from her
breast unto her hip?
gracing wafts of wrist to
tunes of siren’s harps on the mountains?
picking eyes of men like berries from bushes?

No.

The maiden did not stall the stage
to occupy the audience.

She did form herself out of the
wreck she had lived in.
the hardest of smiles carried in her eyes
to reassure her mind.
danced amongst flowers of healing that
whispered the secrets of being.
planted fresh air and blankets to
all that she loved for.

Twas blue, it seemed
My life would be
In routine peace
And tranquil teal

Yellow I find
A most wanted mind
Bathing in life
Golden through time

Green is the mass
Of all I can ask
The way to bypass
The grass of the lax

I am an expert at crushes;

From the age of when I could walk
To the latest of my blinks
I have had a crush

I admire from afar
If they approach me
I melt

Once a guy liked me back
And I was ecstatic
But it ended in storms

See, I couldn’t reciprocate
Even if my heart
Wanted to

I’m scared I cannot love
Or haven’t love to give
I’m scared I cannot voice
My loveliest feelings