Forgive this Father
I hear those angels speaking of providence
A weight on my shoulders reminding me I could be holy
This is all my mothers ever wanted for me
Bear witness Father
They whisper fire is the only way to cleanse
Ashes to ashes/ dust to dust
The trail of bodies left in the flames wake
Belong to no-one other then me
Hear this now Father
These sunset red lips are paradise to anyone
Who wishes to kiss them
The angels tell me I can use that to ease a sick soul
Trust in this father
I’m told I am only doing Gods work

He builds you a cage
making the walls out of honey and dew to lure you inside  
Putting in windows only to then glue them shut
He shouts “you can leave whenever you **** well please.”
Relishes in punishing you with black magic-
that leaves you dizzy for days whenever you try
Wilts the flowers you grow for company
Convincing you it’s your fault they always die to begin with
“If you would just be good maybe I wouldn’t have to do this.”
laces you up with ribbons and spider silk
Reworks you until you are docile just in his image
He’s a dead ***** necromancer and you're the best of both his worlds
always on the cusp of being half alive
He takes to gathering bouquets of your dead flowers
placing them on the windowsill
His voice renaming and whispering spells to them
every time he visits you
until they are gleaming once again
eventually you see this act for the warning it is
Sitting pretty and doe eyed
You now only shimmer and shine if it means he will let you stay

- You’ll learn one day that this is not  happiness

My Love
Your dreams are all made of war-
forged straight from your heart
You claim iron does not bend-
Only darling
I see you choking on the sulphur
Why do you give yourself to something so hateful?


My shining light
My dreams are all made of war-
forged straight from my soul
And it’s far easier to swing swords
never second guessing-
whose on the other end of the blade
If everyone is the enemy
then who do you have to mourn-
When you're standing alone on a killing field of your own making  
Dear heart
How could I not give it everything I have?

Talk to me about
praying to god in the shower
Tell me how
you turn the bathtub into a confessional
Were you
praying to god because you believed
or because you had no options left

Talk to me about
coming to a new city
Tell me how
you’ve never been more hollow
Were you
surprised with the lengths you went to fill yourself up
or did you always know
Even filled to the brim everything about you
leaves every-one wanting  


- Do you want more or less of me
- You can never seem to decide

You’re haunting me
Rattling my bones with such a sweet song
The melody is setting my spine in a way
that causes my teeth to ache  
It’s the first taste of devastating paired with final notes of irreparable

I have your memory
Buried underneath my bed
slipped between folded up t-***** and double knotted
into the laces of my doc martins
hidden yet taken with me everywhere I go
It’s gonna end up driving me mad if I let it  

You’re haunting me
Yet here I am trying to exorcize my past
sinking my memories of you
right back into your dusted bones
I have you rolling over in your grave
Assured in your afterlife
this secret and I would go quietly into the night
Only I came back screaming

(my knuckles are skinned to the bone)
(but I will keep fighting. I will keep fighting)

I hear you singing in victory
Can you hear me
Answering back

- A secret for the night

I will learn vengeance
with the same grace
I learned how to be
soft and quiet

It will start in the middle of the night
When dead things rise
( like all dead things eventually do)
When the memories I left to the
( deep, dark, and 6 feet under)
Rise up awakening me within them
Ushering me
right into the real world
Where opinions brand like handprints and I bite the head
off my anger
every time someone tells me
(your better off)
Better for learning
how to taste fire and enjoy it
Better for watching
all my dreams fall out of my mouth like ash
Better for knowing pain
more intimately than someones love

I will learn vengeance
with the same grace
I learned how to be
Tamed and quiet

-- not gently and never in a way that left me the same as before