I'm going to a birthday party
for a kid I barely know
another year of life
for a beautiful human soul

the first cup of coffee
is hope
the remains of pandora's box
every morning

palettes of color
reminds us of summer
light to dark
tan-orange arc
lavender’s nice too
I'll paint for you

I am a seamstress
stitching life together in harmony
creating beauty every place my needle breaches
You are the weaver
you dart in and out of lives
loosely dragging us along
to the knotted finish line
weaver and seamstress met
and you are persuasive
performing the drama
and I believed
seamstress and weaver could create
a masterpiece so fine
to last for all our days
and yet
you have taken your dagger through our greatest tapestry
destroyed what I had birthed
you laugh because you do not know
the seamstress's needle knows no bounds
and your eyes
always too far apart

I feel myself circling the truth
narrowing in on the target
spitting and spewing excuses
like darts ruining a blameless wall
until
bullseye!
I've never been good enough
tears fall

you must untangle yourself
from the nets of my mind
so you too can swim
into the sea of confusion
threw me into cold deep waters
did you know I couldn't swim?
it's easier to ignore the guilt
just do whatever's best for you
I've lost the knife to cut you loose
I'm not even sure I care to
so if you strangle for a minute?
you've already slaughtered me
please leave

"Could you name a shortcoming of yours?"
       and I stutter- I stop
after nights of practice
mindless rehearsing
this should not be the question
that turns me to a boulder
hurls me off the cliff
so I shatter
while bystanders thank their lucky stars they weren't hit
I've named thousands thanks to you
but now
the pain has muted me
"I am shy"
it's a lie