I was once full of damnation,
But you called me and gave me salvation,
You saved me from evils' manipulation.
Anger was my motivation,
And desire for wrong things;my inspiration,
I had no hope for a future heavenly nation.
All I knew was condemnation,
But Christ,you took my hand and swept me off my feet,
Taught to me how to dance to your beat,
And my life is no longer under "the heat".

CONFORMITY kills CURIOSITY

I sleep, in sleep perchance to dream a dream

to see, to live, that which I cannot live.

Sometimes of ghosts and thrilling mysteries,

to wake in racing, violent thumping beats.

Sometimes of buildings, large, uncanny, real,

to wake with wonder, bewildered and confused.

Sometimes of faces, strange and odd and queer,

to wake, and, disoriented, shake my head.

Sometimes of you and I in love and then

I wake, to smile, to sigh and then to cry.

I sleep, in sleep perchance to dream a dream

to see, to live a love that cannot be.

I had this one last stick of cigarette
I lit it up hoping it would last longer,
But each time I sip it gets shorter,
shorter and shorter by each second,
But with each sip I take I think about her
making each one long and painful,
Cause each sip I think of my mistakes
the real reason why I did lose her,
Now that she's gone I suddenly found
that letting her go was a wrong choice,
Cause I know I still love her
but there is nothing I can do about it,
Cause I know she's really move on
and I'm the only one who's still holding on,
So as I take my last sip of this cigarette
I will put out the fire like my love for her.

“LEAVE ME BE!”




It creeps up behind me,

Delivering whispers of heavy influence

With its haunting, dense voice.



“DO IT!”




It says.

Listen to my reason

That scream of insecurity

Of your cold, dark nature

You knew it to be true

That feeling in your chest

But you kept trying to pretend.



Why does my heart quiver?!

This corruption that masks affection

A ****** by my hands

Of her Trust!

Of her Love!

I made nothing of that faith…



Instinct and malevolence

Are now the masters of my strings

An empty vessel,

To my agony and my Sin!



And now it’s do or do not,

But it’s no longer up to me.

Staring at white slabs

On white columns

That’s better than

Staring at you.

Just in case,

In between jokes, tales,

And enthusiastic laughter,

You’ll see in my eyes

The overwhelming desire

To invite you into my life.

the rain beats endlessly
upon the ears
it snakes it's way inside this house
wrapping itself around the grief
and drenches us with sadness
the Sun resides in a far off place
where smiles await
where joy finds refuge
in time
the storm will remain here
will darken these rooms
and blur the days ahead
what light finds it's way
will only serve to cast shadows
i will understand her grief
i will wait beside her for the cloud to unwrap itself
for she is her father's daughter
and i know so well
this storm

(The Art of Failing Goodbye)

I covet your closeness; how could I not? You were my world once upon a mime. Honestly. Though my pride will deny it, our demise left me discarded. Hiding amongst the few collateral souvenirs: stupidity and bitterness.

I bestowed to you the best of me; although you never asked me to. My heart, body, and soul - yours for the taking - a decision made on my own accord. Because you never asked me for any of it. You never asked me to do the things I did. But I loved you - innocent as that. Thus, relinquishing logic entirely.

Hardly more than a stranger, I felt I knew you; unaware of the lidded fabulist within. A mere tourist of my chassis; enthralled by my looks. Enthralled by just me. “In love” so deep, you attempted suicide twice. Upon my rejection – in theory. They almost beat you to death, and left you to the wolves. Deserved it? An understatement tenfold. And yet. My compassion was what saved you.

I protected the same entity who pulverized my own.

They all said you were no good – they said a mythomaniac would leach onto me until there was nothing left, ****** dry – then you would leave. Onto the next; life on the move. Daddy said you’d leave me in shambles. Was he right?

…Duh.

A question sheathed in rhetoric; absolutely. A black hole does not give back. Wake UP, m Maple – Ali – Oliver – whatever you are today.mWake up, you ******. And look here.

You ruthied(sp?) me last Halloween, took my body as your own, enabled a cycle I’ll no longer accept. The girl who cried ****…an alias to forever haunt me.

No one believed me then. Why would they now?

This final hurrah; a Halloween blackout. Wherein, you personified my worst nightmare. A cruel and unusual punishment – at best. And then.

You slithered and slinked away; no apologies – no goodbye for me. You’d taken all of me. Just like they said. All my value – dismembered and pocketed. Off you went…as predicted. Onto the next…life on the move.

You etched your gimmick; smuggling trust; squirreling intuition - these morals I'd entombed - you burrowed away. Promising Eden, you offered a map; directing me as I sailed the route. The garden, however, was not what I found. My catafalque(coffin) negated expectations you set; a utopia of dazzling, abundant nature. For, you'd devised a mousetrap; and I'd glissaded willingly inside…

For the very last time, gaze entwined. Blue on brown.

SNAP.