****** coffee,
Sleepless nights,
Broken hearts,
And drunken fights.

I wonder sometimes...
If it'***** you yet..?
If it'll ever hit you..
When you think back to me..
If you ever do..
I wonder if you'll ever think...


She brought so much good and joy to my lonely life.
Would it be hard for you to look into my eyes, and admit you're biggest regret?
I imagine seeing the ocean of regret fill within your eyes and slip down your cheeks as you continue to speak.
Would you go on to say..
You've learned the hard way?
You've learned from your mistakes?
That I was the only light in your corner of darkness?
And letting me walk away was your biggest mistake?

I wonder if...
you'll ever think...
Maybe I’ve always been destined to end up in this place?
Alone...
With
Nothing
But
The
Reflection
Of
Your
Own
Decisions.

I wonder...
if you'll ever realize...
Love will always be your greatest lesson.
Because you realize you had it all when you were with me.

I wonder if...
your eyes would show signs of being tired?
Tired of searching.
Tired of searching what cannot be found.
Tired of coming up short with every girl in town.
Tired of searching for the very thing you'd thought you'd forgotten.
But then realizing,
This entire time you'd been searching...
You were actually searching for me in another person.

If this were true..
This would mean..
You realized there is no such thing as finding me in another.

So I can't help but wonder...
If this would be your defining moment,
when you realized..
That...
You're a prisoner to your own pain?
Because you hurt the ones most close to you.
Who love you.
Is this the moment when I'll hear you say...
I’m a prisoner to my decisions.

I wonder...
if you'll feel the same emptiness
I felt?
Where you can feel your soul burning.
Burning with such sadness.
And how you sit in those hazy agonizing days filled with nothing but pain, because you cannot digest the loss you are faced with.
I wonder...
If like me,
You'll actually contemplate handing it all over to the devil himself,
Just so you could leave this place and once again see their face.

I guess I'll never know...
if you'll ever reach such a chapter...
But I'll always...
Always...
Wonder.

This is not a letter to myself,
Nor to someone I left.
This is for someone filled with regrets,
For those whose pain demanded to be felt;

It was the obscure evening,
The night when you found yourself— empty.
You lost trace of the light's being,
T'was the moment you chose to flee.

You gave everything you must give,
Gave them all their needs—
Yet there's nothing left for you, not a penny,
Not even a single bit of sympathy.

You were lost, tears were crystalized,
Pain made you lose your mind.
There, you made a decision,
You became your own rebellion.

You killed people, hurt 'em with your words,
But never regret, they did the worse.
Chose to choke you while you're breathless;
The people who made your darkness.

It wasn't your fault that you hurt people,
It was them, who killed your own person.

The stress the strain the pain of knowing... Not excepting the truth no one knowing the pain I go through the love lost between us to... The space growing by the day and not excepting the truth... No more love to loose