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I'm trying to remember
the love that we once had

But now I'm only feeling
the pain that you have left
That one person:/
  Dec 2016 Dark Delusion
Sea
I lost it all a year ago:
not a lover, but
a friend,
one after another,
in domino effect.

And as this year
takes its final
curtain call,
I’ve been left
(almost nearly)
on my own
to greet
the year of
2017

As the loneliness creeps in
What we have is nuts, crazy, mad
But it's just that
I like to laugh instead of being sad
I like to giggle so people know I'm not that bad

Mr.J knows that
He gets what they don't
He sees what they wouldn't
When I'm with him I feel warm

Not alone
I'm damaged but so is he
I find it hard to manage
But not with him

You see?
Do you see he just gets me?

My 'Puddin makes me happy
Even tho I'm the baddest bady
We're meant to be

Sometime we paint white roses red
Each shade from a different person head
Don't look at me
Or you'll lay in your dead bed

Don't dream
Dream is a killer sometimes we get drunk with a blue caterpillar

He's peeling the skin of my face
Cause I really hate being safe
The normals they make me afraid
The crazies they make me feels safe

I'm nuts baby I'm mad
The craziest friend that you ever had
You think I'm ******
You think I'm gone
Tell the psychiatrist something is wrong

Over the bend entirely bonkers
He likes me best when I'm of my rocker
Tell you a secret I'm not alarmed
So what if I'm crazy... all the best people are

He thinks I'm crazy
He thinks I'm gone
I think he's crazy to
I know he's gone

That's probably the reason that we get along
Suicide is one of those movies you watch over and over again. And I kinda wanted to share my thoughts of it. From the way I show everything go down really. But watch the movie! It's pretty cool <3
  Dec 2016 Dark Delusion
Amy wildflower
She woke up to the sound of screaming.

She knew, She knew today aas not a good day.

She thought to herself, "everyday is very similar. All my day on earth are horrible."

Her heart was beating fast and her lungs shrank. she could hear her own breath, she hated that.

She hated hearing her own breath,

She hated her family, she hated her looks,

She hated her family,

She hated her body.

She hated....everything

She is me.
Dont take this peom seriously.
Dark Delusion Nov 2016
I'm now on a trip alone.
Going to the end of the world.
The gate only opens for those already dead.
This will be my last time seeing your face again.

I’ve wanted to say sorry for everything I've done to you.
But not even a single goodbye could find its place between us.
I felt nothing as I drove past you.
I didn't even look, I wanted to but I couldn't.

I'm now on my way so I can wait for you.
It's gonna be a long time waiting for someone you didn't even want to love.
I only felt the warmth of my thoughts when thinking of you.
But I couldn't find a place for you in my heart, only in my mind and imagination.

As I look out the window in the bus, I only see death.
As I look at my own reflection I see myself crying, hurting myself till I close my eyes and just fade away.

It was my life I saw in my reflection of the so sad looking window.
As I look down I see my future under my feet, black  and nothing.
It's under my feet because I crushed it and left it to never see light again.

I'm at the destination soon, just thinking about wanting to see you again before I leave.
I desperate called your name and broke out of the bus that worked as a barrier to my heart.
I ran and ran just thinking how much you mean to me.
I really needed you, all this time I didn't notice my feelings was trying to break the distance between us.

I wanted to tell you everything about how I feel, I wanted to hear your mouth say it too.
I'm still running from my death, the time wasn't right.
As I got to where I left you, I saw you standing and just waiting for someone, me.
I stopped up and tears rolled down my face, you kissed me and said “I'll always wait for you”.

The kiss I've wanted for such a long time, I finally got it, It feels too good to be true.
I love you in life and in death” were the words I only could say, “I already know” were the words that you said.
Let's never let death and life separate our love from our hearts.
We need to know what we really feel or else you'll regret every little thing you didn't do.
Our winter nights as children
would find us lying next to the floor vent
of the heater, at most two of us at a time, in our old drafty house, just to stay warm.

Dad would line the windows
with plastic and stuff towels in
the cracks of the panes to
stop the cold air from coming through.

A few times, we only had
the heat of our oven to warm up the kitchen,
Several bedrooms were locked up
to conserve what heat we had,
dad would always drip water from the faucet
to keep the pipes from freezing

My parents couldn't afford much
in those days, not on a mechanic's wage,
and feeding a family of eight
Our warmth was what we had,
our bond in the winter months
It' was not much warmth, but it was ours.

Our walks to school were even colder,
bristling through the knee deep snow
in our second hand, Goodwill jackets
and two pairs of thin gloves and socks
to keep our fingers and toes from freezing.

Every morning, my mom would prepare us
either a hot, steeping bowl of oatmeal
or cream of wheat, the smell of dad's military
coffee lingered throughout the house,
long after he left for work.

It was those mornings, I remembered most though,
those 6 am mornings, in a old, drafty house,
you could hear my dad shuffling the newspaper
just before my mom would knock on our bedroom doors to get us up

Its been a month of your passing,
I can still hear you rustle the newspaper
and I can still smell your burnt military coffee
every morning since and I still don't want
to get out of bed

We didn't have much warmth in that old, drafty house, but it was all ours.
My father passed a month ago, I don't think I am over it quite yet
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